Re: Peter

[Mighty Green and Yellow 0]

What you do if you went to the pub one day, lets say the lions of bledlow, and Peter Cullum walked in and offered you a pint?

[Zachariah Lovespoon 0]

the same as if anyone else offered me a pint, say yes please & thanks very much. what a very silly question.

[lappinitup 629]

Is this a pub quiz question?

[Mighty Green and Yellow 0]

Yes but this is Peter Cullum, surely you would ask for more mate!

[Beauseant 0]

[quote user="Mighty Green and Yellow"]

What you do if you went to the pub one day, lets say the lions of bledlow, and Peter Cullum walked in and offered you a pint?

[/quote]

Would that be an outright purchase or a loan repayable if I then went to a smaller pub?

[NCFC_Shaun 0]

[quote user="Mighty Green and Yellow"]Yes but this is Peter Cullum, surely you would ask for more mate![/quote]

 

[:^)] your hardly going to say ... "No actually I''ll have 6 please..." of course you wouldn''t ask for more...

[Wembley_Canary 0]

The answer:

"No no, this one is on me, you need to save up all the money you can, now that greedy Delia isn''t prepared to give up her favourite toy without a fight"

[The Butler 0]

[quote user="Mighty Green and Yellow"]

What you do if you went to the pub one day, lets say the lions of bledlow, and Peter Cullum walked in and offered you a pint?

[/quote]

As we don''t know one another I would ask what he thought his game was!!

[Mason 47 1,382]

I would say ''Crikey its Peter Cullum'' and then run away singing ''Yo ho ho and a bottle of Morrisons Value Apple Juice''

[<:o)]

[Zachariah Lovespoon 0]

[quote user="Mighty Green and Yellow"]Yes but this is Peter Cullum, surely you would ask for more mate![/quote]

 

Nah, play the long game I recon, buy him a pint back befriend him, then tell him I''m going to the papers with the pictures of us both!

[Lincs CR 0]

I agree with Zachariah, who cares who it is... it''s a free pint! :)

"yes please..." followed shortly by "thank you..." :)

[Syteanric 1]

i''d shout loudly "Drinks are you??? cheers mate!" and leg it out as the assembling crowd of punters herangue poor Peter and place their order...

 

jas :)

[lappinitup 629]

[quote user="Mighty Green and Yellow"]Yes but this is Peter Cullum, surely you would ask for more mate![/quote]Do strange men normally come up to you and offer you a pint? And do you normally ask for more? [:S]

[Chunky Norwich 0]

Is he ordering Babycham?

[Berkshire Canary 12]

What, you mean he offers to buy you a pint but doesn''t offer crisps or pork scratchings?? What a tight git!!!

[Graham Paddons Beard 2,432]

If it really was Peter this is what would happen.

He would go around the whole pub asking if people wanted a pint. 20 would say yes. He would then ring up the brewers and say that 40 people wanted a pint and that the brewers should pay him a huge commission to introduce the drinkers to the brewers (as a broker does).

Peter would then (by now it wouldnt be him , it would be his hideous henchman Kenny McIver or Andy "D''oh" Homer) go to ten other brewers and say that the first brewer had agreed to pay him £1 trillion to introduce drinkers to them (even if they hadn''t) . this is what he does with Insurance companies.

And thus , my children, is how Towergate was born.

 

 

[CaptnCanary 0]

Once whilst at Uni in Coventry I was in a busy pub waiting to order when the barmaid came over and said ''that guy over the other side of the pub wants to buy you a drink''. So I very quickly ordered a pint with a big smile on my face. It was only shortly after that when I started to worry about who this guy was and what his motives were. It suddenly occurred to me that he could be gay and that accepting this pint could become very embarassing. Fortunately I then realised I was wearing my Norwich scarf and that this was obviously a fellow canary fan. Phew!

[norfolkbroadslim 223]

[quote user="Mighty Green and Yellow"]

What you do if you went to the pub one day, lets say the lions of bledlow, and Peter Cullum walked in and offered you a pint?

[/quote]

 

"Yes please, but you aren''t getting any sex"

[nutty nigel 7,539]

Peter Cullum walks up to the bar, with a big ostrich behind him, and as he stops at the bar, a small cat jumps up onto the bar stool next to him. The barman comes over, regards the three rather curiously, and asks "What''ll it be", to which Peter Cullum replies "Well, I''ll have a pint" and, turning to the ostrich "what do you want?" "I''ll have a pint as well" replies the ostrich. Peter Cullum looks down at the cat and says "I suppose you want a drink too?", to which the cat replies, "I''ll have a half, but I ain''t flippin'' paying!".

The barman pulls two and a half pints and says "That''ll be six pounds  forty please". To the barman''s surprise Cullum puts his hand in his pocket, feels around, and pulls out exactly £6.40 in loose change, which he puts on the bar.

A while later the same thing happens. Peter Cullum, the ostrich and the small cat come back to the bar. "I''ll have pint" says Peter, "I''ll have a pint says the ostrich", "and I''ll have a half, but I ain''t flippin'' paying" says the cat.

"That''ll be six pounds forty" says the barman, and again Cullum puts his hand in his pocket, feels around and pulls out exactly £6.40. This goes on several times, much to the bemusement of the barman.

Finally, as last orders are rung, Peter Cullum, the ostrich and the cat come back to the bar. "Well" says Peter "its last orders, I think I''ll have a large scotch", and turning to the ostrich "what do you want?" "I''ll have a large scotch as well" replies the ostrich. Turning to the small cat on the stool next to him, Cullum says "and I suppose you want something as well?" "I''ll have a small scotch says the cat, but I ain''t flippin'' payin''". The barman rings up the drinks in the till, and says to Cullum, with a sly grin on his face, "that''ll be five pounds seventy five please" To his amazement and disbelief Peter Cullum puts his hand in his pocket, feels about and pulls out exactly £5.75 in loose change. As the three finish their drinks and are about to leave, the barman cannot contain his curiosity any longer.

"Excuse me Mr Cullum, but before you leave there is something I must know.....how do you always manage to come up with the exact change from your pocket, every time?"

"Well" says Peter, "its a long story, but basically several years ago I brokered a deal for an old lady who was well into her nineties, and when she died she left me her old house, nothing special, but when I was clearing out the attic I found an old lamp, and when I rubbed the lamp a genie appeared and offered me two wishes."

"Well that''s fantastic" says the barman, "what did you wish for?".

"Well," say''s Peter, "if I ever need to pay for anything I just put my hand in my pocket, and the right money will always be there".

"That''s brilliant" says the barman, "most people would just ask for a million pounds or something, but you will always be as rich as you want for as long as you want".

"Oh yes" says Cullum, "its the greatest thing I ever did. If I want to buy a pint of beer the money will always be there. If I want to buy Norwich City Football Club the exact money will be there too!".

As Cullum turns to go, the barman calls him back and says "one last thing sir, your friends ... we don''t get many cats or ostriches drinking in here" to which Peter Cullum looks glum and replies "well, that was probably the worst thing I ever did ... you see I had two wishes, and on my second wish I asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy".

 

[Mello Yello 2,296]

[quote user="CaptnCanary"]Once whilst at Uni in Coventry I was in a busy pub waiting to order when the barmaid came over and said ''that guy over the other side of the pub wants to buy you a drink''. So I very quickly ordered a pint with a big smile on my face. It was only shortly after that when I started to worry about who this guy was and what his motives were. It suddenly occurred to me that he could be gay and that accepting this pint could become very embarassing. Fortunately I then realised I was wearing my Norwich scarf and that this was obviously a fellow canary fan. Phew![/quote]

....and his scarf, was pink....

[WeAreYellows49 0]

[quote user="Mighty Green and Yellow"]Yes but this is Peter Cullum, surely you would ask for more mate![/quote]

 

No not at all,  I would of course accept his offer and then return the kind gesture by buying him one back.

[First Wazzock 902]

[quote user="lappinitup"][quote user="Mighty Green and Yellow"]Yes but this is Peter Cullum, surely you would ask for more mate![/quote]Do strange men normally come up to you and offer you a pint? And do you normally ask for more? [:S][/quote]

Asking for more could lead to...[:S]

[AndyJR 0]

[quote user="Mighty Green and Yellow"]

What you do if you went to the pub one day, lets say the lions of bledlow, and Peter Cullum walked in and offered you a pint?

[/quote]My usual line once I''ve drunk to much probably - "so, coming down the Waterfront later?"  [:D]

[Mister Chops 7]

[quote user="Mighty Green and Yellow"]

What you do if you went to the pub one day, lets say the lions of bledlow, and Peter Cullum walked in and offered you a pint?

[/quote]I''d probably get the local newspaper salesman to leave his kiosk and write out a note to Peter Cullum which said, amongst other things, that the true cost of buying me would be fifty six pints.

[Munich 93 0]

[quote user="nutty nigel"]

Peter Cullum walks up to the bar, with a big ostrich behind him, and as he stops at the bar, a small cat jumps up onto the bar stool next to him. The barman comes over, regards the three rather curiously, and asks "What''ll it be", to which Peter Cullum replies "Well, I''ll have a pint" and, turning to the ostrich "what do you want?" "I''ll have a pint as well" replies the ostrich. Peter Cullum looks down at the cat and says "I suppose you want a drink too?", to which the cat replies, "I''ll have a half, but I ain''t flippin'' paying!".

The barman pulls two and a half pints and says "That''ll be six pounds  forty please". To the barman''s surprise Cullum puts his hand in his pocket, feels around, and pulls out exactly £6.40 in loose change, which he puts on the bar.

A while later the same thing happens. Peter Cullum, the ostrich and the small cat come back to the bar. "I''ll have pint" says Peter, "I''ll have a pint says the ostrich", "and I''ll have a half, but I ain''t flippin'' paying" says the cat.

"That''ll be six pounds forty" says the barman, and again Cullum puts his hand in his pocket, feels around and pulls out exactly £6.40. This goes on several times, much to the bemusement of the barman.

Finally, as last orders are rung, Peter Cullum, the ostrich and the cat come back to the bar. "Well" says Peter "its last orders, I think I''ll have a large scotch", and turning to the ostrich "what do you want?" "I''ll have a large scotch as well" replies the ostrich. Turning to the small cat on the stool next to him, Cullum says "and I suppose you want something as well?" "I''ll have a small scotch says the cat, but I ain''t flippin'' payin''". The barman rings up the drinks in the till, and says to Cullum, with a sly grin on his face, "that''ll be five pounds seventy five please" To his amazement and disbelief Peter Cullum puts his hand in his pocket, feels about and pulls out exactly £5.75 in loose change. As the three finish their drinks and are about to leave, the barman cannot contain his curiosity any longer.

"Excuse me Mr Cullum, but before you leave there is something I must know.....how do you always manage to come up with the exact change from your pocket, every time?"

"Well" says Peter, "its a long story, but basically several years ago I brokered a deal for an old lady who was well into her nineties, and when she died she left me her old house, nothing special, but when I was clearing out the attic I found an old lamp, and when I rubbed the lamp a genie appeared and offered me two wishes."

"Well that''s fantastic" says the barman, "what did you wish for?".

"Well," say''s Peter, "if I ever need to pay for anything I just put my hand in my pocket, and the right money will always be there".

"That''s brilliant" says the barman, "most people would just ask for a million pounds or something, but you will always be as rich as you want for as long as you want".

"Oh yes" says Cullum, "its the greatest thing I ever did. If I want to buy a pint of beer the money will always be there. If I want to buy Norwich City Football Club the exact money will be there too!".

As Cullum turns to go, the barman calls him back and says "one last thing sir, your friends ... we don''t get many cats or ostriches drinking in here" to which Peter Cullum looks glum and replies "well, that was probably the worst thing I ever did ... you see I had two wishes, and on my second wish I asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy".

 

[/quote]

Absoloutely superb Nutty Nigel,funniest thing ive seen on here in ages!

[missing in action? 0]

how about a bottle of moet chandon and a lunch?

[ricardo 7,395]

Classic Nutty.

As you rightly say, be careful what you wish for.

LOL

[arrdee 2]

Now you lovely old boys I am surprised you didn''t know what happened when Mr Cullum went into a pub in the City . When he walked in this pub he said "Drinks all round and a double for the landlord" this carried on all evening "Drinks all round and a double for the landlord " He just kept shouting "come on lads" "its drinks all round and a double for the landlord".

At the end of the evening the landlord presented Mr Cullum with a bill for £852 , "sorry landlord I cant pay this as I have no money"  "you what"? said the landlord as he jumped over the bar and set about Mr Cullum and preceded to knock seven kinds of "bells" out of him , he pummelled him for 10mins or so before throwing him out on the street . Never come back Cullum with your "Drinks all round and a double for the landlord you cheapskate"

The following Friday in the door came Mr Cullum all bandaged up with his arm in a sling , "Oh not you again" said the landlord "I know what you are going to say Drinks all round and a double for the landlord" Mr Cullam replied    "no I ain''t you can leave yourself out because you get violent after you have had a drink or two"....[:D]....arrdee.