FAO CHRIS HUGHTON - SQUAD ASSESSMENT

[TRAVIS ASKEW 0]

Send in the sniffer dogs!!! Must be drugs there somewhere!

[TIL 1010 4,776]

[quote user="tom cavendish"]No, I want the club to sustain Premier League football and to have a big iconic stadium with fantastic contemporary architecture that will inspire people and help to promote Norfolk.
[/quote]

You mean like the £5 million roof at Norwich Bus station that was built only seven years ago but is leaking to such an extent that it needs major repairs ?

[tom cavendish 0]

[quote user="TIL 1010"]

[quote user="tom cavendish"]No, I want the club to sustain Premier League football and to have a big iconic stadium with fantastic contemporary architecture that will inspire people and help to promote Norfolk.[/quote]

You mean like the £5 million roof at Norwich Bus station that was built only seven years ago but is leaking to such an extent that it needs major repairs ?

[/quote]No.

[Yellowbeagle 0]

Faxing this over to the club right now and marking it urgent. This classified insider information for Mr Hughton could be the only thing preventing us from certain premier league demise. I can only thank you for posting it but i''m sure the board and manager will contact you in due course. I think a place on the coaching staff beckons.

[tom cavendish 0]

[quote user="Yellowbeagle"]Faxing this over to the club right now and marking it urgent. This classified insider information for Mr Hughton could be the only thing preventing us from certain premier league demise. I can only thank you for posting it but i''m sure the board and manager will contact you in due course. I think a place on the coaching staff beckons.[/quote]I''m no longer involved with football, but football managers, their assistants, and chief scouts have been known to call me and ask advice about players they are looking to sign, send me to look at games for them etc.

[lake district canary 0]

[quote user="tom cavendish"][quote user="Yellowbeagle"]Faxing this over to the club right now and marking it urgent. This classified insider information for Mr Hughton could be the only thing preventing us from certain premier league demise. I can only thank you for posting it but i''m sure the board and manager will contact you in due course. I think a place on the coaching staff beckons.[/quote]

I''m no longer involved with football, but football managers, their assistants, and chief scouts have been known to call me and ask advice about players they are looking to sign, send me to look at games for them etc.
[/quote]

 

 

 

 

[TIL 1010 4,776]

[quote user="tom cavendish"]I''m no longer involved with football, but football managers, their assistants, and chief scouts have been known to call me and ask advice about players they are looking to sign, send me to look at games for them etc.
[/quote]

Now i am convinced you are related to BW. [:''(]

[Yellowbeagle 0]

[quote user="tom cavendish"][quote user="Yellowbeagle"]Faxing this over to the club right now and marking it urgent. This classified insider information for Mr Hughton could be the only thing preventing us from certain premier league demise. I can only thank you for posting it but i''m sure the board and manager will contact you in due course. I think a place on the coaching staff beckons.[/quote]

I''m no longer involved with football, but football managers, their assistants, and chief scouts have been known to call me and ask advice about players they are looking to sign, send me to look at games for them etc.
[/quote]

You do realise when the landlord of the Dog & Duck says to you that for Sundays game he''s going to have to play Bob Chuckles and Zuma Fatty Smith as a centre back pairing and is there any chance that the score can be kept below ten, that doesnt count?

[If wed only kept Howie.. 3]

I''ve corrected the typos for you...

 

I''ve never been involved with football. Football managers, their assistants or chief scouts have been known to call me what time their pizza will be arriving, I wish they would ask for my advice about players they should to sign and send me to look at games (or matches) for them etc (or anywhere).

[Mr Jenkins 0]

[quote user="tom cavendish"][quote user="shiplee15"]Sell/Loan Vaughan!? What are you on!?[/quote]Media reports are saying that Norwich are willing to let him go out on-loan. This would seem a sensible thing to do as he hasn''t played much for a very long time and he deserves a run of first team games to show what he can do.[/quote]

Laughable

[Mister Chops 7]

[quote user="tom cavendish"][quote user="Yellowbeagle"]Faxing this over to the club right now and marking it urgent. This classified insider information for Mr Hughton could be the only thing preventing us from certain premier league demise. I can only thank you for posting it but i''m sure the board and manager will contact you in due course. I think a place on the coaching staff beckons.[/quote]I''m no longer involved with football, but football managers, their assistants, and chief scouts have been known to call me and ask advice about players they are looking to sign, send me to look at games for them etc.[/quote]And what about when you close your game of Football Manager 2012 and shut the PC off?

[tom cavendish 0]

[quote user="Mister Chops"][quote user="tom cavendish"][quote user="Yellowbeagle"]Faxing this over to the club right now and marking it urgent. This classified insider information for Mr Hughton could be the only thing preventing us from certain premier league demise. I can only thank you for posting it but i''m sure the board and manager will contact you in due course. I think a place on the coaching staff beckons.[/quote]I''m no longer involved with football, but football managers, their assistants, and chief scouts have been known to call me and ask advice about players they are looking to sign, send me to look at games for them etc.[/quote]And what about when you close your game of Football Manager 2012 and shut the PC off?[/quote]I have never played any of those football computer games. However, fans may joke about those games, but I do know that some clubs used to use those games to find players. They used them to search for players to play in a particular position whose contract might be due to expire etc. They would use that information to help compile a list of possible targets.

[andy cousins 9]

wonder why we employed Hughton when we have so many managers on here we could have got for free

[The ambassador 0]

I wonder if Cavendish is an astrologer with the amount of bullshit he''s spewing out with!

[yellow blood 0]

[quote user="tom cavendish"][quote user="Yellowbeagle"]Faxing this over to the club right now and marking it urgent. This classified insider information for Mr Hughton could be the only thing preventing us from certain premier league demise. I can only thank you for posting it but i''m sure the board and manager will contact you in due course. I think a place on the coaching staff beckons.[/quote]

I''m no longer involved with football, but football managers, their assistants, and chief scouts have been known to call me and ask advice about players they are looking to sign, send me to look at games for them etc.
[/quote]

Thank fuck for that! I was worried that you were a Town Planner working for Norwich City Council...

[Yobocop 1,105]

I''d be interested to know what clubs you have been giving advice to? I''ve given your name to our chief scout here at Stevenage who covers a large area including Norwich and he has never heard of you.

 

 

[Lets be aving you! 0]

FAO CHRIS HUGHTON - JOBBIES TO DO (PART 2):

 

1. Explore leaseback option on Snodgrass for peppercorn rent.

2. Rig up teaching facilities in front of hotel. Rebrand as the Local Administration And Finance (L.A.A.F.) Centre.

3. Designate suitable quiet zones as study areas (N&P?, Main Stand?).

4. Maximise staff utilisation ratios and reduce headcount by retraining UEA porters as matchday stewards. Deploy unused matchday squad members to man university gates.

5. Investigate scope for government scrappage allowance on future player disposals.

6. Shore up defence with 3 key signings (C. Naughton, Z. Whitbread and A. Drury). Set off signing-on fees against unused local authority peppercorn allowances.

7. Arrange appointments with Mr Ponzi re funding scheme, and Mr J. Carr re tax minimisation strategies.

8. Investigate scope under government scrappage scheme for future player disposals (Matt Ball and others earmarked by TC).

9. Set up NCFC-funded MBA under the ''Creative Resourcing and Accounting Programme'' (C.R.A.P.).

10. Arrange offshoring of non-core functions (ticketing, turnstile operation, etc.) to eastern Europe and Thailand.

11. Leverage TC''s expertise and experience on personnel recruitment operations.

[Scooby 0]

Please, please can we keep this thread going, it''s sooooooo funny.

I''m wondering what colour the sky is where young Tom comes from.  A planet where professional football managers consult 12 year old boys and computer games to assemble their squads must be a wonderful place....... for Schizophrenics at any rate (And I apologise in advance for any others afflicted before the PC bunch jump on me)

[tom cavendish 0]

[quote user="Scooby"]Please, please can we keep this thread going, it''s sooooooo funny.

I''m wondering what colour the sky is where young Tom comes from.  A planet where professional football managers consult 12 year old boys and computer games to assemble their squads must be a wonderful place....... for Schizophrenics at any rate (And I apologise in advance for any others afflicted before the PC bunch jump on me)

[/quote]Sorry to disappoint the illusions that you have in your head, but I''m middle aged and married with kids. I have my own businesses, and I used to be involved in scouting (spread over a period of a decade of so).

[marvin the martian 0]

I just like it when scooby posts

[Barclay hero 0]

[quote user="tom cavendish"][quote user="Scooby"]Please, please can we keep this thread going, it''s sooooooo funny.

I''m wondering what colour the sky is where young Tom comes from.  A planet where professional football managers consult 12 year old boys and computer games to assemble their squads must be a wonderful place....... for Schizophrenics at any rate (And I apologise in advance for any others afflicted before the PC bunch jump on me)

[/quote]

Sorry to disappoint the illusions that you have in your head, but I''m middle aged and married with kids. I have my own businesses, and I used to be involved in scouting (spread over a period of a decade of so).
[/quote]

I heard it was the Cubs.  Close, I suppose

[Barclay hero 0]

I bet Mr Cavendish is also one of those that when he is shouting at players on the pitch refers to them as "Grant", "Wes" and "Tony" so that people sitting around him think that he might know them personally

[Lets be aving you! 0]

Fair play to the OP. We have subjected him to a barrage of abuse and yet he has remained mild-mannered and dignified throughout.

 

[PurpleCanary 5,573]

[quote user="Lets be aving you"]

Fair play to the OP. We have subjected him to a barrage of abuse and yet he has remained mild-mannered and dignified throughout.

 

[/quote]

 

As he has when ridiculed for his view on Carrow Road and a new stadium, as in the latest thread on that subject. I see there his mentality has now been likened to that of the alleged Colorado mass murderer:

What should give rise to concern is what happens when reclusive obssessive young men finally do flip. When a singular mania about one fixation spills out into anger at the wider world. Thankfully this is merely at a mild form of aspergers, and hopefully will not manifest itself in any form of violent behaviour.

However the comment comes comes from a poster who is not only singularly obsessed but also apparently so jaw-droppingly dense they don''t see it is their own fixated behavior they are describing. So I doubt Tom will take offence, but just smile at the hilarious irony.

[lake district canary 0]

[quote user="PurpleCanary"][quote user="Lets be aving you"]

Fair play to the OP. We have subjected him to a barrage of abuse and yet he has remained mild-mannered and dignified throughout.

 

[/quote]

 

As he has when ridiculed for his view on Carrow Road and a new stadium, as in the latest thread on that subject. I see there his mentality has now been likened to that of the alleged Colorado mass murderer:

What should give rise to concern is what happens when reclusive obssessive young men finally do flip. When a singular mania about one fixation spills out into anger at the wider world. Thankfully this is merely at a mild form of aspergers, and hopefully will not manifest itself in any form of violent behaviour.

However the comment comes comes from a poster who is not only singularly obsessed but also apparently so jaw-droppingly dense they don''t see it is their own fixated behavior they are describing. So I doubt Tom will take offence, but just smile at the hilarious irony.

[/quote]

 

 

Being thick skinned is not always the best way to be.  It may work in business, we all know them - the managers who appear to be in their own world, devoid of any sense of what is real....................and we have to put up to them, up to a point.    They may be coherent and sound plausible, but it does not make them right.   Unfortunately, most of them think they are right - all the time.  Therein lies the problem.............

 

 

[Lets be aving you! 0]

Purple, I was just feeling pangs of guilt at my lampooning of the OP while he remained stoic in the face of constant ridicule.

 

Get your point about irony, which has merely added to the entertainment of these threads during the silly season.

[Dr. Ink 0]

FAO CHRIS HUGHTON

Well done sir! Snodgrass will be immense, and Turner looks the kind of CB we needed. Good result at Celtic, and good to hear the crowd were back on Holt''s side. Again, good work in keeping our Horse in the paddock.

Keep it up Sir Chris, I look forward to chanting your name when things kick off at Carrow Road.

[Nuff Said 5,152]

[quote user="Lets be aving you"]

Fair play to the OP. We have subjected him to a barrage of abuse and yet he has remained mild-mannered and dignified throughout.

 

[/quote]I don''t know about fair play, it''s far more entertaining when people kick off. Come on tom, let that inner anger out...[;)]Where''s my popcorn?

[Lets be aving you! 0]

"Where''s my popcorn?"

 

Surely you mean peppercorn?

 

Would go well with some Wiz car-crash-style ranting.

[lappinitup 629]

[quote user="Nuff Said"]Where''s my popcorn?[/quote]Peppercorn is "in" now, don''t you know? [+o(]