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Keith Scott

A few jokes to lighten the mood.

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I used to sell filo-faxes to the mafia, I was into really organised crime.Then I got a job at a blanket factory, but got made redundant when it folded.So I tried my hand at repairing roundabouts, but quit because I could feel my life going round in circles.In my spare time I used to collect broken pencils, but gave it up. I couldn''t see the point.

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[quote user="Time to go Delia"]Summed up very nicely Keith , and it will get worse next weekend because Ipswich will beat this shower of s hit [/quote]Be a good weekend for you then.

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My ship came in, just as I boarded the plane!

I owned up to a murder on my death bed-and got better!

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Funny thing is lesso, I''m English, served in the forces, and have been welcomed over here. When I tell that joke to a native, they''re initial reaction is shock, then laughter, followed by "" we wouldn''t get away with saying that"". In my experience of nearly 30 years here, very few Irish are bigots , most can laugh at themselves and love the craic.

As Sting said, well, nearly said :

I''m an alien, I''m a legal alien

I''m an Englishman in West Cork!!

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Funny thing is lesso, I''m English, served in the forces, and have been welcomed over here. When I tell that joke to a native, they''re initial reaction is shock, then laughter, followed by "" we wouldn''t get away with saying that"". In my experience of nearly 30 years here, very few Irish are bigots , most can laugh at themselves and love the craic.

As Sting said, well, nearly said :

I''m an alien, I''m a legal alien

I''m an Englishman in West Cork!!

Fair play to you Corky!

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''''Whats the difference between Bono and God ?

God doesn''t walk around Dublin thinking he''s Bono. ''''..............Lesser Ingham

The favourite answer round here is....'''' oh yes he does , but gods big enough not to need stacked heels.''''

Has anyone seen morty and bono in the same room?

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We''re goun into Chubby Brown territory.

My wife said she was gonna have the coil fitted.

I said .... '''' with the size of your fanny, you could have carpets fitted''''

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