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Mr Apples

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Everything posted by Mr Apples

  1. Hi all, apologies to those whose picks I'll miss but here are my (hopefully) super six for the weekend. Many thanks for the all the suggestions received! Juventus vs. Bologna (home win). Frank Lampard's Chelsea vs. Newcastle (home win) Young Boys vs. Neuchatel Xamax (home win) Slavia Prague vs. Pribram (home win) Cowdenbeath vs. Broxburn Athletic (home win) AGF Aarhus vs. Silkeborg (home win) All the best Indy and everyone else this weekend! Apples
  2. Mr Apples

    The Brexit Party

    "For those of you thinking otherwise my IQ is 125 =above average !" It doesn't count if you multiply your original score by 5... Apples
  3. Mr Apples

    President Trump

    Looks like only the fiercest of supporters are standing by Trump now...from the Daily Mash. Everyday pr*cks distance themselves from Trump SOME of Britain’s most unbearable pr*cks have confirmed that they find Donald Trump’s level of d*ckishness excessive. Pr*cks who normally rejoice in such qualities as arrogance, bigotry and needless pig-headed aggression have distanced themselves from the US president. Tom Booker, who owns 400 buy-to-let properties and drives a Jaguar with a customised hood ornament, said: “I am a pr*ck. I have a number of blinkered views and am generally hostile towards the underdog in any situation. “However Trump is taking pr*ck behaviour too far, something I never thought was possible. “I’ve always rejoiced in being a pr*ck. Only last week I d*cked a single mum out of her deposit by claiming she had damaged a radiator, but it appears I have my limits.” Advertising executive Norman Steele said: “I’d f*ck anyone over at the drop of a hat, but I don’t want to be lumped in with this guy."
  4. Mr Apples

    The Brexit Party

    "Ricardo, rock the boat and van wink, shyster says hi , he’ll be back." It'll only be a matter of time before the character of Buh reappears with all his green frog nonsense... Apples
  5. Hi PUPs and many thanks Nutty for that very kind introduction. Here's hoping i can break the curse of the six and earn some cash!!! I'm going to be making my selections early tomorrow afternoon so fire the suggestions in (for my sanity I have a strict "no posting at the weekend" policy)! This week I'll go to Belarus with BATE vs. Gomel (home win). For the City bet I'll go for Leitner to score anytime. Good luck everyone! Apples
  6. Mr Apples

    Toddy in training

    "Never has 3 words in a thread title felt so depressing" Surely "gujons replace scampi" must come pretty close? Apples
  7. Mr Apples

    Rain Forest

    An interesting piece on our swivel-eyed chums, from the Daily Mash. The Daily Mail reader’s guide to Extinction Rebellion ARE you a Daily Mail reader? Is your hatred of Extinction Rebellion furious, irrational and entirely uninformed? Confirm your prejudices about these privileged eco-b*stards below: Who are ‘Extinction Rebellion’? A terrorist organisation formed of social degenerates including environmentalists, students, luvvies, Guardian readers, vegetarians and supply teachers. Their leader is evil 16-year-old Stalin-wannabe Greta Thunberg. What do they want? To make us live in a primitive Stone Age society where all technology is banned. They particularly want to remove mankind’s most fundamental right: driving a car. Despite this they are all sickening hypocrites who own mobile phones and visit doctors when ill. Are they dangerous? Yes. They claim to be peaceful but only because Greta has not yet ordered them to invade your home to free your tortoise or set off a thermonuclear device in a major city. These fanatics would prefer millions of humans to die rather than upset an earthworm. What would happen if they took over? Criticism of the global warming myth will be illegal and ordinary citizens would face show trials and the gulag for eating a sausage. Animals will be given authority over humans, so your next boss will be a squirrel and a seagull could requisition your bedroom. How can I protect my family from Extinction Rebellion? If you see warning signs that Extinction Rebellion is about to attack – young people, a mention of climate change without the prefix ‘so-called’, an older woman with a hemp tote bag – immediately vacate the area for a safe space, eg. Wetherspoons. What should I do if someone expresses sympathy for these scum? Tie them to a chair and begin a ‘deprogramming’ regime by force-feeding them bacon and making them watch The Grand Tour. It’s the only sane thing to do.
  8. Mr Apples

    Rain Forest

    Interesting article from the archives of the Daily Mash. Climate change sceptic is fine with all other science A DIEHARD global warming sceptic is happy to believe in all the other types of science, it has emerged. Retired accountant Norman Steele believes climate change is a lie, yet fully accepts other types of science such as physics, medicine and the various technologies that enable him to fly to Spain on holiday. Wife Emma said: “I’ve never seen him trying to disprove chemistry or claim Einstein was just into relativity for the money. “He spends hours on the internet finding obscure studies that seem to contradict global warming, but he’s perfectly happy to watch our TV without incontrovertible evidence that it works from the scientists at Samsung. “And when he went into hospital for an operation recently he didn’t accuse the doctors of being part of a conspiracy to make money out of ingrowing toenails.” She added: “Norman must really be interested in climate science though, because if you wasted your life studying temperature graphs just so you could moan about it on the internet, that would make you a total f*cking a*se.” Apples
  9. Mr Apples

    The Brexit Party

    "Flushed out with the sewage?!" But at least it'll be good old lumpy British sewage...not that EU sewage they force us to treat prior to discharge. Apples
  10. Mr Apples

    The Brexit Party

    "Are these the guys who will be taking the streets if we don't Brexit?!" Are they all getting let out for the day? Apples
  11. "Exactly... check for error code in a table and then send appropriate meaningful message to user, such as 'thread no longer exists'" Or, "We'd really like to fix it but it's everybody elses fault and despite being told what the correct solution is we're going to do the opposite regardless"? Apples
  12. Mr Apples

    More concessions required

    I've not been on here since Thursday...are we now having to resort to guerilla Brexit threads? Apples
  13. Mr Apples

    Could AD be our AC??

    Will highlights and analysis be made available? Apples
  14. Mr Apples

    Could AD be our AC??

    I hope this meeting will be chaperoned. Apples
  15. Hi PUPs, I'm off to the Faroe Islands this week with a Romania away win. For BTTS I'll go with Swindon vs. Plymouth. All the best everyone! Apples
  16. Hi PUPs, off to Bulgaria this week with CSKA Sofia vs. Vitosha Bistritsa (home win). For the City bet I'll go for over City to win and over 3.5 goals (Result/Total Goals - currently 4/1). Best of luck everyone! Apples ·
  17. Mr Apples

    Sticker book exclusions

    There's no point collecting them...without a Passlack sticker the whole book will just fall to pieces. Apples
  18. "Drug dealer? Pimp? Bank robber? Career criminal? I mean... Give us a clue" Male stripper? Apples
  19. Nutty, i'm ok for that date in October and many thanks for looking after my picks! This week I'm off to Greece with Olympiakos vs. Lamia (home win). For the City bet I'll go for Drmic to open his account and score last. Best of luck everyone! Apples
  20. Hi PUPs, off to the land of yodelling this week with Switzerland vs. Gibralter (home win). For the BTTS I'll go for Montrose vs. Partick Thistle. Nutty, here are my selections for the following weeks (many thanks for keeping tabs on these)! w/e 14th Hobro vs Copenhagen (away win); NCFC vs. Man City BTTS w/e 21st IBV vs Breidablik (away win); NCFC vs Burnley over 4.5 goals with a red card in the game. Best of luck everyone! Apples
  21. Hi PUPs, after being let down by picks from the east over the last couple of weeks I'm heading to the Med and Greece with PAOK vs. Panionios (home win). Nutty, I'm off on holiday at the end of next week so will leave my future selections with next week's pick. For the City game I'll go for a 2-2 draw with Leitner to score anytime. Best of luck everyone! Apples
  22. Mr Apples

    Scotland really are gash aren't they?

    Will Snoddy be on Pens? Apples
  23. Hi Nutty unfortunately I can't do the 14th as I'll be basting myself in Ouzo and Ambre Solaire (apologies for that horrible image)! Happy to swap for something later in the year! This week I'm off to Ukraine with Dynamo Kyiv vs. Olimpik Donetsk (home win). For the City bet I'll go for both teams to score in the first half and Hanley to nod one in (anytime). Good luck everyone! Apples
  24. Mr Apples

    James Norwood - No words

    Such is his quality, I'm just surprised he didn't miss his head with the cans. Apples
  25. Hi PUPs, off to Russia this week with Zenit vs. Akhmat Grozny (home win). For the City bet I'm hoping Mo Leitner will be starting the game so I'll go for him to score, anytime. Best of luck everyone! Apples
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