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Mr Apples

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Mr Apples last won the day on October 14

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  1. Mr Apples

    Coldplay at Carrow Rd.

    I suppose it's good to finally find a conscience after you've contributed to wrecking the planet amassing a fortune estimated at around £100 million...what a guy. Apples
  2. Hi all, off to Slovakia this week with Slovan Bratislava vs. Sereď (home win). For the City bet I'll go for Stiepermann to score anytime in a 1-1 draw. Best of luck everyone! Apples
  3. Mr Apples

    The Brexit Thread

    And there's also the minor point that mice very rarely eat cheese...they prefer food of a higher calorific value and will only resort to cheese if there is no other food available. Apples
  4. Mr Apples

    The Brexit Thread

    "I'm afraid @RTB that you are displaying a total ignorance about how the internet actually works". Much like that classic sketch from the IT Crowd where Moss explains to Jen how the internet works. By any chance, does anyone have a meme or picture to illustrate this? Apples
  5. Mr Apples

    England look better with......

    Looks like that night off at the casino did him a power of good. Apples
  6. Mr Apples

    The Brexit Thread

    Some interesting information for the easily offended Brexit bunch, from the Daily Mash. How to be an offended baby boomer DO you feel you’re being unfairly attacked for being a baby boomer, despite believing anyone with a grievance is a ‘snowflake’? Here’s what to do. Suggest ‘boomer’ is a deeply offensive slur Claim it’s on a par with racism and should be banned. Completely fail to see the irony that you’ve been moaning about political correctness for years and possibly even believe it was much better when you could call people ‘shirt-lifters’, ‘gypos’ and worse. Accuse anyone younger than you of lacking respect Don’t concern yourself with whether simply being older means you deserve respect – after all, quite a few serial killers probably live to be 100. Also ignore the fact that younger people generally are quite respectful and are not all lazy scumbags just because they grew up with double glazing. Double down on saying ‘In my day…’ Make growing up in the 1960s sound like some sort of Dickensian nightmare. Eventually you’ll be totally convinced you did have to walk uphill to school nine miles each way in three feet of snow, even if it never actually happened. Ideally all younger acquaintances should genuinely believe you lived in the Monty Python ‘Northerners’ sketch. Insist you’re always right because of the Second World War You weren’t actually in it, but your dad nearly was so that makes you hardened to the harsh realities of life, or something. This doesn’t really make sense, but nor does being a Daily Express reader who believes everyone and everything is terrible these days.
  7. Hi PUPs, off to Luxembourg this week with a Portugal away win. For the BTTS I'll go for Greenock Morton vs. Arbroath. Best of luck everyone! Apples
  8. Mr Apples

    The Brexit Thread

    "I would rather bathe in cow sh!t than spend time in a bar with you." So, just a regular night in for you then? Apples
  9. Mr Apples

    Rain Forest

    It's hardly a surprise...some days he can barely remember who he is. I like the notion of 'clean' nuclear...noooocuuuluuuur, ehs carbuhn noootrul bey... Apples
  10. Mr Apples

    The Brexit Thread

    Some helpful guidelines on voting from the Daily Mash. Are you too thick to vote? THE election is underway, but are you too bloodyminded and ill-informed to vote sensibly? Check you’re not one of these people. You really do know f**k all If your political knowledge is close to zero, you probably believe very odd things, eg. it’s totally wrong that Margaret Thatcher isn’t allowed to come back and sort out Brexit. Or that MPs are all the children of the Queen. For the sake of democracy, consider not voting. You just hate other people You are the only decent, hard-working person in Britain, and everyone else is a parasite. Ask yourself whether it is normal to believe police officers lead a pampered, lazy existence or knackered 25-year-old teachers are constantly cackling over their ‘gold-plated pensions’. The ‘just get Brexit done’ brigade Weirdly, this now includes dense Remainers who are impatient about anything boring and complicated. It’s like going to the dentist to have a tooth rebuilt and saying, “Nah, just pull ‘em all out and and let’s go straight onto the dentures.” All your opinions are from the tabloids If your main political opinions are ‘BOG OFF COMMUNIST CORBYN!’ or ‘Lib DUMB-ocrats!’ you may be spending too long reading tabloids. Switch to a more responsible paper like the Daily Star, which contains very little propaganda due to it just being sh*te about Love Island. You believe everything is moronically simple Farage is a good bloke who speaks his mind. So just make him prime minister, right? If you’re asked how this would work legally or democratically, just say “It’s all b*llocks” and get another pint. Apples
  11. Hi PUps, off to Turkey this week with Kayserispor vs. Fenerbahçe (Away win). For the City bet I'll go for Drmic to score last. Nutty, I'm away next week so will leave my selections here (thanks as always for looking after these)! Greece - Olympiakos vs. Atromitros (home win) City - 3 - 0 home win with Godfrey to score any time. Best of luck everyone! Apples
  12. Mr Apples

    The Brexit Thread

    "The fact I'm stuck in England with people like RTB." At least you'll be able to get an easy stamp in your new blue passport... Apples
  13. Mr Apples

    The Brexit Thread

    Tories booted out of Scotland, Scottish Government get their Section 30 Order approved, IndyRef 2 takes place and landslide victory for leaving the Union, Scotland welcomed back into the EU and a hard border introduced with a Freeeeeeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom Wall. What's not to like? Apples
  14. Mr Apples

    Gloves !

    Perhaps he suffers from a form of Raynaud Syndrome... Apples
  15. Mr Apples

    The Brexit Thread

    Happy Independence Day...for Nauru. I trust someone is currently digging a ditch for Boris? Apples
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