Trevor Hockey's Beard

NO, I AM VOTER NUMBER ONE.

Who is this Rookie Transfer? I''ve Googled him to no avail, and there''s no highlights of his goals on Youtube. I do hope that the club aren''t breaking their promise to buy British - Rookie doesn''t sound like a very English name - still I suppose it could be American, like the name Randy...(insert Lafferty joke here).

we need a strong squad with cover for every position. There''s more satisfaction in finding a gem - I still have that Pink''un cover with 140 photos of Torres and one of Grant Holt. Maybe RVW is at the back of their minds, but so too could be Snodders - a big splash of cash for Hull, one tackle from Joey Barton and that''s his season over.

The Hull Board want to take our offer, but Steve Bruce is insisting on £3m of Delia''s pies - enough to keep him going for a couple of weeks at most.

I hope you haven''t gone to Tunisia, as you''ll be back before we''ve missed you.

Are Wigan fans still claiming that they prefer their cup win to staying in the Prem? Are Hull fans still talking about their foray into Europe? Do Birmingham fans warm their hands around the glow from their cup exploits? Etc. IMHO it''s a pity we can''t opt out of the cups.

In the past I too have thought that the team gaining promotion via the play-offs is at a disadvantage, due to a longer season/shorter break, but I think it is different for us this year. I think that those last three games have given us more momentum going into the new season, and really unified the team. The performance at Wembley was such a complete one it was a step up from any other game last season - it was like watching a Premiership team. So tired and lame article for me.

The next person to be linked with NCFC on this board will be: Consonant please Rachel,S, a vowel please A, a consonant B, and another R, a vowel please I.... etc

Might it be quicker to start a new thread about each of the players we shouldn''t be buying? I was going to suggest that the first one should be Joey Barton, but I seem to recall someone actually saying that we should sign him - although it might have just been one of Waveney''s avatars, and not an actual person at all.

"I''ve not seen such desperation..." Oh I don''t know, there was more on TWTD just after the play-off semi-finals, trying to prove that they were the better team and should have won.

Sigh. There seems to be more Binners buzzing round this message board at the moment than there are bees swarming round my guttering. August cannot come soon enough.

Doesn''t he do a bit of moonlighting on the side, teaching in the ruins of the Arts School?

Who is this Freud we''ve been linked with? I''m worried as the only Freud I could find seems to be permanently injured - he spends all his time on the treatment couch - so another VOO. When he does play and is about to tackle he makes a slip at the vital moment and gives the game away.

Can nothing be done about multiple usernames? It has got to the point where I am beginning to wonder if this message board has only two posters - myself and a schizophrenic from across the border?

As fans we assume that City can just go out and buy whoever they want, but the reality must be a nightmare - any deal can fail, even at the last moment - the player can want too much money, he wants to be in London, another club come in at the last moment - someone''s mobile runs out of battery at the critical moment - the girlfriend wants to stay on mainland Europe. I am sure that we are trying to negotiate with several players for each position we want to fill, but we might not get our first, or fifth choice. Jerome seems to have a problem with his hamstring and can safely manage 60 to 70 minutes. We currently have no one of a similar style to substitute for him, and Mbokani looks like a good substitute for Jerome - or the other way round.

I think we will rarely see two up front in a league where teams sometimes play with no strikers at all. The key will be mobility and flexibility in our midfield, and I expect our midfield to outscore our strike-force. AN says that we set out to win every game, but I do not think this will be based on just scoring more goals than the other team (which was PL''s approach). I expect us to try and turn defence into attack as quickly as possible, with almost anyone given the licence to go forwards with someone else moving to cover the space they leave behind. So I expect to see the fullbacks playing as wing-backs at times, and to see lots of cut-backs and shots from the edge of the box. Jerome''s run into the box for our second goal at Wembley took Ayala with him, leaving Redmond unmarked. I expect this style of play to be our Plan A. So one up front for me, with Redmond given a roving role. I thought that playing Wes and a roving Redmond would be too risky and leave our midfield overstretched, but the play-offs have shown that this can work very well in the right situation, but probably not against the top 4 clubs.

I think he''s got our messageboard confused with TWTD.

Is there a term for when one person basically runs a whole thread using his numerous sub-personalities? Oh yes, that word is "sad".

The comments after the Sudbury Mercury article could have been lifted from the pages of this messageboard.

He uses his left foot all the time - without it he''d fall over. Will he settle here? Can he sleep without the distant sound of gunfire? Ah, I know, Rent a house out towards Watton and he''ll feel right at home.

... or Chris Hughton. Is it true that CH had one of those systems installed at Colney like they have at Supermarkets to stop trolleys being stolen, whereby if any of the back 6 crossed the halfway line their legs locked up and they fell over?

Out of sympathy for the poor fellow fans who had RvW''s name printed in full on their shirts - and which they hardly got to wear, I have two suggestions for our future recruitment policy: 1. Only sign players with short surnames, preferably three letter names such as Ibe, or someone from the far East ( "Kim passes to Kim"etc). 2. We only sign players whose surname is a Christian name, as in Russell Martin, Alex Neil, so you can wear your shirt long after that player has signed for the Portaloo Brushes.l

"They walk amongst us." That''s not the worry Broadstairs, it''s when they learn to open doors that we need to worry.

Don''t meet up for an assignation with Lulu in a Premier Inn - the walls are too thin as she''s liable to Shout.

I''m surprised that Tim Sherwood isn''t included in the Villa list.