Stuff you've thought of but it's too dull for conversation

[Herman 9,793]

The dog on That's Life that used to say "sausages" couldn't actually say "sausages". It was all trickery. 

[TheGunnShow 5,953]

18 hours ago, Thumbbass said:

Talking to my dad about a bloke both he and my grandad knew. I can remember everyone calling him 'Tex' back when I was a kid. Found out today it was a nickname, and he got it because he went on holiday to America, once.

I called someone Louise because they'd been to Louisiana. 😉

[Nuff Said 5,147]

21 hours ago, Nik Vawn said:

how do you hard boil an egg and make it easy to shell, sometimes the shell just falls off, other times you have to pick it off in bits

 

After 58 years (although I guess the first five or six years were egg-less) I’ve only just realised the correct way to crack an egg is to crack it at the bottom but open it from the top. How did that pass me by? Years spent picking bits of eggshell out…

[littleyellowbirdie 2,562]

1 hour ago, Nuff Said said:

After 58 years (although I guess the first five or six years were egg-less) I’ve only just realised the correct way to crack an egg is to crack it at the bottom but open it from the top. How did that pass me by? Years spent picking bits of eggshell out…

The missing thing in your life is an Eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher...

https://amzn.eu/d/1pwggwg

Edited April 12 by littleyellowbirdie

[Mr Angry 1,569]

On 11/04/2024 at 18:11, Nik Vawn said:

how do you hard boil an egg and make it easy to shell, sometimes the shell just falls off, other times you have to pick it off in bits

 

I actually read about this the other day. Put some bicarbonate of soda in the pan-apparently the alkaline helps the egg whites loosen from the shell.

[Nik Vawn 130]

1 hour ago, Mr Angry said:

I actually read about this the other day. Put some bicarbonate of soda in the pan-apparently the alkaline helps the egg whites loosen from the shell.

Nice, great board this, will give it a try👍

[Mr Angry 1,569]

7 hours ago, Herman said:

The dog on That's Life that used to say "sausages" couldn't actually say "sausages". It was all trickery. 

You are f***ing kidding me 🤣

[Herman 9,793]

8 hours ago, Mr Angry said:

You are f***ing kidding me 🤣

...and Doc Cox is also smutty punkster Ivor Biggun.

[Wings of a Sparrow 1,423]

14 hours ago, Mr Angry said:

I actually read about this the other day. Put some bicarbonate of soda in the pan-apparently the alkaline helps the egg whites loosen from the shell.

This is a good tip 👍

I also give them a little roll about to crack the egg in places. The sort of secondary membrane thing seems to be the problem, once you've got a bit of that off, the rest comes (fairly) easy. And some eggs are better than others...

[Wings of a Sparrow 1,423]

Painting doors...

Take the handles off, or be a lazy bar steward and try and paint round them...?

[GodlyOtsemobor 2,333]

8 hours ago, Wings of a Sparrow said:

Painting doors...

Take the handles off, or be a lazy bar steward and try and paint round them...?

Paint round them obviously 

[dylanisabaddog 4,947]

The Quotes of Steven Wright:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everythng seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scard half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarsm; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

[littleyellowbirdie 2,562]

Clickbait seems to be stepping over the line into active trolling. I saw something called 'Man finds puppy in the forest - then vet calls the police', which got me curious enough to click and find out what it was if not a puppy.

After clicking through about 20 pages, I gave up, still not knowing what it actually was.

Edited April 16 by littleyellowbirdie

[GodlyOtsemobor 2,333]

Got a job offer today! No more redundancy stress! Just see out the last couple of weeks, have a bit of a break then start the training for new one middle of May! 

[Wings of a Sparrow 1,423]

15 minutes ago, GodlyOtsemobor said:

Got a job offer today! No more redundancy stress! Just see out the last couple of weeks, have a bit of a break then start the training for new one middle of May! 

Great news mate 👍

[Nuff Said 5,147]

[sonyc 5,539]

45 minutes ago, Nuff Said said:

Number 3 is often a big debate our way. A snicket or a ginnel?  Always used the latter but unsure why. The former is probably a bit more Yorkshire and the latter more a Lancastrian term (maybe @TheGunnShow can offer his take - northern based too but also as the interpreter expert too 😀).

Anyway, in my very young days it would have been an alleyway. 

Number 1 might be even more controversial.

[TheGunnShow 5,953]

5 minutes ago, sonyc said:

Number 3 is often a big debate our way. A snicket or a ginnel?  Always used the latter but unsure why. The former is probably a bit more Yorkshire and the latter more a Lancastrian term (maybe @TheGunnShow can offer his take - northern based too but also as the interpreter expert too 😀).

Anyway, in my very young days it would have been an alleyway. 

Number 1 might be even more controversial.

Ginnel's more a word used by people my age (mid-40s) or older, at least in Bolton. You'd get "alley" nowadays. 

[Nuff Said 5,147]

I’ve lived in the East Midlands for so long now, I see 1 as a cob. I don’t think I’ll ever call 3 a twitchell though.

[Herman 9,793]

Breakfast.

Workwear.

Lovenest.

Tea.

[Nuff Said 5,147]

2 minutes ago, Herman said:

Breakfast.

Workwear.

Lovenest.

Tea.

You romantic devil.

[FenwayFrank 2,460]

2 hours ago, sonyc said:

Number 3 is often a big debate our way

Loke 

[GodlyOtsemobor 2,333]

5 hours ago, Nuff Said said:

Roll, dressing gown, alley, Crust 

[Nuff Said 5,147]

4 minutes ago, GodlyOtsemobor said:

Roll, dressing gown, alley, Crust 

Spot on, anyone who calls it a bathrobe is clearly Bertie Wooster.

[Mr Apples 1,322]

In Scotland, Number 3 can be a 'close' or a 'vennel' and Number 4 is a 'heel' or an 'ootsider'. It's a fierce debate. 🤣

Apples

Edited April 17 by Mr Apples

[sonyc 5,539]

9 minutes ago, Mr Apples said:

In Scotland, Number 3 can be a 'close' or a 'vennel' and Number 4 is a 'heel' or an 'ootsider'. It's a fierce debate. 🤣

Apples

So by logic, a pair of alleyways running on from each other in Scotland could be known in future as a Paula?🙂 

Love the heel and outsider. I may have heard one of those terms from my days watching Still Game (never missed one episode...just the humour amuses the sonyc household, including our lads growing up).

[Barbe bleu 829]

Checked out that tweet at source and found this

 

[Mr Apples 1,322]

@sonyc Check out Taysiders in Space on YT, from Chewin the Fat. 😁

Apples

[JonnyJonnyRowe 449]

On 17/04/2024 at 20:14, Nuff Said said:

Spot on, anyone who calls it a bathrobe is clearly Bertie Wooster.

In Scotland they would call it a 'House Coat'.

[Wings of a Sparrow 1,423]

On 17/04/2024 at 20:14, Nuff Said said:

Spot on, anyone who calls it a bathrobe is clearly Bertie Wooster.

Here in Yarmouth, it's de rigueur for popping to the garage for your fags.

Edited April 19 by Wings of a Sparrow