Sunday Quiz: You Are The Norwich City Board

[thebigfeller 200]

Are you cut out to be a member of our heroic, illustrious board? Are you destined to be a Norwich City director? Try this simple quiz and find out:1. Over the last 3 years, your brilliant manager has delivered two straight promotions and a great first season back in the Premier League. But he''s relentless, and fears you can''t match his ambition. Do you:a) Throw the kitchen sink at keeping him;b) Acknowledge that financial constraints mean you can''t give him what he wants - so when he leaves, thank him for everything, call him a legend and say he''ll always be welcome back;c) Spend the next 2 years slagging him off whenever his name comes up, get involved in petty legal feuds with him and his new club, and describe him - your only truly successful manager in 20 years - as "the most impatient man you''ve ever met in business"?2. The new manager keeps you safely ensconced in the Premier League in his first year - but there''s an alarming slump in the second half of the season, his second year starts poorly, and you harbour mounting doubts about him. Do you:a) Act decisively, firing him and appointing Gustavo Poyet before one of your relegation rivals does so instead;b) Give him proper money to spend in January - because you can''t afford to be relegated. You can''t just throw away all the progress of the previous 4 years;c) Do neither: neither back him nor sack him, sit on the fence, and hope for the best - while issuing warnings which undermine him and his authority through the media; and insisting that you will "leave no stone unturned" in the maintenance of your Premier League status? After all, in sporting terms, relegation would be "worse than death". It''s important to look big and tough at a time like this.3. Things continue to deteriorate - but your manager''s one real strength is his habit of pulling off surprise results against leading clubs: the kind of fearsome opposition who dominate your run-in. In any case, with 5 games left, you''re still 5 points above the bottom 3. Do you:a) At least give him until the end of the season, when you can properly reflect on things. After all, you''ve kept him in until now, and dismissing him at this time would be crazy;b) Fire him - but only because you''re replacing him with a proven manager you''ve already headhunted, eg. Neil Lennon;c) Fire him and replace him with the youth team coach and local radio presenter?4. Over those last 5 games, the youth team coach picks up 1 point from 15; and that one point comes in a game which, to have any chance of staying up, you have to win - but barely even tried to. You are relegated from the world''s highest profile, most lucrative league; all your hard work will go up in smoke if you do not make a quick return. Do you:a) Go after a proven operator with a history of success on his CV. Lennon is available, wants the job, has won three league titles and even beat Barcelona in the Champions League; b) Go after an up-and-coming manager at a smaller club, eg. Eddie Howe, who''s worked absolute wonders at Bournemouth;c) Give the job to the youth team coach, while proudly declaring to the assembled media that "you trawled the whole of Europe", only to miraculously discover that he was the perfect man? After all, that he ''bleeds green and yellow'' and understands the "Norwich City way" is obviously what''s most important here.5. Despite your squad appearing to be, on paper, as good as any in the Championship, and despite considerable expense in putting together this squad, performances go from disjointed and unconvincing to out-and-out appalling, and you slide down the table in a season when "automatic promotion" is your publicly declared target. Do you:a) Quickly acknowledge the error of your ways, make an immediate change, and hire either Lennon - before another Championship club snaps him up - or a successful, experienced manager such as Tony Pulis?b) Take the risk of appointing someone with no managerial experience, whose abilities are therefore unproven - but who spent many years assisting the greatest manager of all time, at one of the biggest, most successful clubs in the world?c) Do neither: sit on the fence, bring in option b), but fail to sack the manager - meaning he''s now openly on borrowed time, the players barely even know who''s in charge, and things continue to spiral out of control amid a leaderless, spineless, rudderless shambles on and off the park?Score 1 point for each question that you answered with (a); 2 points for each question that you answered with (b); and... hang on, these seem very unfamiliar. Has anyone come across these before? Ah yes: 3 points for each question that you answered with (c).How did you do?1-5: Sorry - we''ve no time for this sort of common sense at this club. Away, be gone with you. You are a disgrace to the Yellow Army.6-10: A reasonable effort: you may be one for the future, but you have a lot of learning to do about the Norwich City way.11-15: Fantastic! We''ve been scouring the whole of Europe for someone like you - yet you were right here under our noses all along! Delia would like to see you in her office.

[Cantiaci Canary 558]

Fantastic ... Well done to you!

Let''s have this on the front page of the EDP!

[JF 694]

Lol. Sums up how useless they really are. Ps i got 15 points!

[alex_ncfc 664]

Brilliant! [:D]

[alex_ncfc 664]

Brilliant! [:D]

[? 0]

I got 15 also! When do I start, do I also get a bonus for overseeing relegation?

[Trevor Hockeys Razor Blade 0]

This is really good! Nice one. What do people think the BOD would score? ;-)

[thebigfeller 200]

[quote user="Ron Manager"]I got 15 also! When do I start, do I also get a bonus for overseeing relegation?[/quote]You certainly do! But please, only one bonus per relegation. Here at Norwich City - run by the fans, for the fans - we have to cut our cloth according to our means. I''m sure you can understand.

[nutty nigel 7,606]

Nice to see you Shaun. Hope you''re well buddy[Y]

 

I think people should only count their score if it''s what they said at the time though[^o)]

 

My score is 10.

 

Now don''t forget the results can be checked against posting history.....

 

 

[? 0]

Thanks but I found out if you don''t pay the rest of the staff their bonus (which doesn''t rely on staying up) you can acheive the financial targets set, so therefore I believe my starting salary should be circa£1m.

[Tony Cottee Woz Ere . . . 0]

Nice work.

[TIL 1010 4,789]

A masterpiece.

[River End Canary 0]

Post of the year without doubt

[Barclay seats 4849 the 3rd 0]

Very proud to say that they wouldn''t be wanting me 😃

[thebigfeller 200]

[quote user="Ron Manager"]Thanks but I found out if you don''t pay the rest of the staff their bonus (which doesn''t rely on staying up) you can acheive the financial targets set, so therefore I believe my starting salary should be circa£1m.[/quote]Excellent: you clearly have your priorities absolutely right, and are just the fellow for us. You can start tomorrow!Please bring some fairy liquid with you - the kitchen needs a good clean - but don''t worry about the trophy cabinet. It''s quite sparse nowadays. Don''t forget the shoe shiner: Delia needs to look her best for the best supporters in the world. And Neil would like a copy of Management for Dummies for Christmas: get on Amazon for us please. Don''t worry, you can charge it to expenses.

[viennacanary 0]

Absolutely brilliant post. Spot on! Email it to McNally and ask him to score himself.

[? 0]

[quote user="viennacanary"]Absolutely brilliant post. Spot on! Email it to McNally and ask him to score himself.[/quote]

What a good idea!

[? 0]

[quote user="thebigfeller"][quote user="Ron Manager"]Thanks but I found out if you don''t pay the rest of the staff their bonus (which doesn''t rely on staying up) you can acheive the financial targets set, so therefore I believe my starting salary should be circa£1m.[/quote]Excellent: you clearly have your priorities absolutely right, and are just the fellow for us. You can start tomorrow!Please bring some fairy liquid with you - the kitchen needs a good clean - but don''t worry about the trophy cabinet. It''s quite sparse nowadays. Don''t forget the shoe shiner: Delia needs to look her best for the best supporters in the world. And Neil would like a copy of Management for Dummies for Christmas: get on Amazon for us please. Don''t worry, you can charge it to expenses. [/quote]

Brilliant, can''t wait!!!! Just one further thing. Following events outside a certain Norwich eatery/club, do I need to go to the dentist to have a mouth guard fitted and brush up on my boxing skills for board meetings?

[morty 0]

[quote user="Ron Manager"][quote user="thebigfeller"][quote user="Ron Manager"]Thanks but I found out if you don''t pay the rest of the staff their bonus (which doesn''t rely on staying up) you can acheive the financial targets set, so therefore I believe my starting salary should be circa£1m.[/quote]Excellent: you clearly have your priorities absolutely right, and are just the fellow for us. You can start tomorrow!Please bring some fairy liquid with you - the kitchen needs a good clean - but don''t worry about the trophy cabinet. It''s quite sparse nowadays. Don''t forget the shoe shiner: Delia needs to look her best for the best supporters in the world. And Neil would like a copy of Management for Dummies for Christmas: get on Amazon for us please. Don''t worry, you can charge it to expenses. [/quote]

Brilliant, can''t wait!!!! Just one further thing. Following events outside a certain Norwich eatery/club, do I need to go to the dentist to have a mouth guard fitted and brush up on my boxing skills for board meetings?[/quote]*Alleged incident, that we shouldn''t really jump to conclusions about, to suit agendas, until we know what actually happened*Mate.

[? 0]

Sad man.

Told you Morty, don''t need to argue with you! Go find another of the six or so you''ve argued with today, then go back to Norwich talk and pretend to be a paragon of pacificity!

[morty 0]

[quote user="Ron Manager"]Sad man.

Told you Morty, don''t need to argue with you! Go find another of the six or so you''ve argued with today, then go back to Norwich talk and pretend to be a paragon of pacificity![/quote]Have you got some kind of anger issues mate?You appear to be seeing conflict everywhere.

[Tetteys Jig 830]

Excellent!

[E I E I E I O 0]

This is the best post I have seen on here in ages. This really does need to go in the local press.

It is depressing being a Norwich Fan, It is so obvious what needs to be done 99% of the time yet our board make absolute laughable, depressing and basically inept decisions on a constant basis.

Here we sit on Monday morning with still no sacking!

This run is absolute shocking, simple games at home against poor opposition and we are not winning, in fact we are not even drawing most but losing.

Someones head has to fall today or they are again answering bloody C!!!

[Mr Jenkins 0]

Made me smile OP, good work!

[......and Smith must score. 1,359]

Great post.I hope Joe, his media boys and '' The Brawler '' ( allegedly ) enjoy it too.

[hogesar 9,736]

Got to admit it''s a depressingly funny post.