Mister Chops 7 Posted October 30, 2008 He wasn''t in, but the automated answering service has certainly been improved.Thank you for calling Neil Doncaster''s office. There''s nobody here to take yourcall at the moment as our reception area is currently being downsizedto offset Leroy''s wage bill. Please select one of the followingoptions.If you''re an agent with a player you think is worth less than two hundred thousand pounds, press 1.If you''re an agent with a player worth more than that, or if his wages would be more than ten grand a week, please hang up.If you''re an Archant Journalist, dial 0845 678 999 to hear theautomated "exclusive interview" with Lee Croft, where he will say thatthe players owe the fans one and will put things right on the pitch. Alternatively, make something up or crib off the Dick Ringworm site.If you''re Mick Dennis, type in your secret four digit PIN now for exclusive access to Delia''s personal hotline.If you''re from Towergate, you can''t come in and you''re not having it.If you''re none of the above, please hold on indefinitely. Christ knows, everyone else around here is. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gazzathegreat 0 Posted October 30, 2008 Chops, are you going for the vacant position as Mr Doncaster''s PA per chance? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
city-till-i-die 7 Posted October 30, 2008 [quote user="Mister Chops"]He wasn''t in, but the automated answering service has certainly been improved.Thank you for calling Neil Doncaster''s office. There''s nobody here to take your call at the moment as our reception area is currently being downsized to offset Leroy''s wage bill. Please select one of the following options.If you''re an agent with a player you think is worth less than two hundred thousand pounds, press 1.If you''re an agent with a player worth more than that, or if his wages would be more than ten grand a week, please hang up.If you''re an Archant Journalist, dial 0845 678 999 to hear the automated "exclusive interview" with Lee Croft, where he will say that the players owe the fans one and will put things right on the pitch. Alternatively, make something up or crib off the Dick Ringworm site.If you''re Mick Dennis, type in your secret four digit PIN now for exclusive access to Delia''s personal hotline.If you''re from Towergate, you can''t come in and you''re not having it.If you''re none of the above, please hold on indefinitely. Christ knows, everyone else around here is.[/quote]exellent...love it...lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
norfolkchance1 0 Posted October 30, 2008 Hillarious, one of the best yet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WeAreYellows49 0 Posted October 30, 2008 lol very good, made me chuckle [:D] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
astrodyne 0 Posted October 30, 2008 Very good [:D] But surely you''ve missed out ''If you are from FHM magazine offering me the nerd of the week prize, you can **** off'' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Camuldonum 0 Posted October 30, 2008 I say, that''s very sophisticated.I telephoned Lincoln City and all I got was:"Thank you for calling Lincoln City Football Club. Our office hours are 9 am to 5 pm Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm for a Saturday home fixture."Please continue to hold. Your call is very important to us. (Holds) This Sunday don''t miss the Fireworks Display at Sincil Bank Stadium......(and don''t begrudge the money we are racking up on the 0870 number)."How the other half lives.We can only dream [+o(] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BlyBlyBabes 0 Posted October 30, 2008 [quote user="Mister Chops"]He wasn''t in, but the automated answering service has certainly been improved.Thank you for calling Neil Doncaster''s office. There''s nobody here to take your call at the moment as our reception area is currently being downsized to offset Leroy''s wage bill. Please select one of the following options.If you''re an agent with a player you think is worth less than two hundred thousand pounds, press 1.If you''re an agent with a player worth more than that, or if his wages would be more than ten grand a week, please hang up.If you''re an Archant Journalist, dial 0845 678 999 to hear the automated "exclusive interview" with Lee Croft, where he will say that the players owe the fans one and will put things right on the pitch. Alternatively, make something up or crib off the Dick Ringworm site.If you''re Mick Dennis, type in your secret four digit PIN now for exclusive access to Delia''s personal hotline.If you''re from Towergate, you can''t come in and you''re not having it.If you''re none of the above, please hold on indefinitely. Christ knows, everyone else around here is.[/quote]Did you leave your name and number after the pip, Chopsy?If not, why not?If you did and he hasn''t called you back, then...............OTBC Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mello Yello 2,572 Posted October 30, 2008 "HALLOOO NEIL!.......What''s goin'' on in the boardroom then?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Camuldonum 0 Posted October 30, 2008 I assume you lot don''t have his mobile? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
a1canary 0 Posted October 31, 2008 Chops, after your Cureton/keyboard gag which also made me laugh, this is a fine follow up! Your are hearby appointed official message board comedian! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Syteanric 1 Posted October 31, 2008 hahah nice one chops!jas :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AJ 1,358 Posted October 31, 2008 [quote user="Camuldonum"]I assume you lot don''t have his mobile?[/quote]I don''t even want to be thinking about what his personal message might be! [:P] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
National express super guard 0 Posted October 31, 2008 (0898 DOOMY) Hi you''re through to neil doncasters fun chat line. press one for discussions on how the gap between the have and have nots in football continues to grow. option 2 is sexy talk about prudence with ambition, finally option 3 is a one to one with neil,explaining how norwich city have no money but we''re better at having no money than anyone else. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanaryRyan 0 Posted October 31, 2008 Very good Mister Chops Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
