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Buh

Can we bring in levels of crisis?

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As we all know the club is in crisis as we speak

There are various crises(yep, I looked it up) combining at once.

Example, losing out on McCormack was, without doubt, a great crisis

But ed balls on strictly come dancing... That''s a HUGE crisis

But perhaps the faint smell of p1ss on the number 4 coach (regulars only) while, undoubtably, a crisis for the club is maybe not AS big a crisis.

Can we have McCormack at a level 3 crisis and ed balls at a level 5? P1ssy coach at maybe a level 1? Or maybe use a traffic light system. It''s going to make things much easier to understand.

Is propose the same for "laughing stock" levels. The club is at all times a laughing stock of course but we need to get scientific and discover the exact level.

It''s a proposal, let''s get scientific.

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I would prefer levels for posts and trolls.For example this thread would get a 9/10 rating for it''s level of tedium and the op would be graded as 5 star cretin.

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They''d have to bring in the Crisis at Crisis Solutions Crisis Aversion Team

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Level

1 bladder feeling under pressure

2 small leakage when coughing or laughing

3 constant drip drip drip, can be contained with panty pads

4 drip becomes trickle, requiring frequent change of containment pads.

5 trickle becomes rivulet , pads at their limit.

6 rivulet becoming stronger almost a stream, pads no longer effective.

7 stream is now constant, pads redundant, nappies needed.

8 uncontrollable stream now , nappy change on the hour every hour.

9 Nappies dont even last a full 45 mins, unbearable pressure on the bladder now.

10 go 1 nil down or dont secure fantasy signing, nappy blown off by flood of urine, passer by ask if waters have broken and do you need a doctor/midwife, buts its ok, you''re only having kittens.

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It should definitely be along the lines of a colour-coded ''Def-Con'' system. The background of the Messageboard can change colour depending on what level we''re at. Then at least there''ll be no arguments as to what level of crisis we''re currently standing at.The announcer could shout it out before each home game too, for added excitement.[Y]

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I look forward to the first post from Buh that actually refers to a football match as opposed to merely trying to mock other posters. Over to you Buh!

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