NCFC ex-player limericks

[William Darby 0]

Dion has an enormous black ShlongDelia reckons it is 10 inches longWyn Jones is so JealousDion could use his kock as a trellis And to support garden beans right along.

[Mister Chops 7]

A defender called Tony PowellNever shirked the occasional foulTo the States he then flewAnd if rumours are trueWho knows what you''d find under that towel.

[zemas tendon 0]

There was a player called Huckerby,

He went down the wing like a magician,

He used both feet, but couldnt use his head,

He now works in the club like a legend he is!!

[Shyster 0]

We once had a winger called CroftWhose crossing was extraordinarily softHe could run like f*ckBut he never looked upAnd when he did cross the ball wound up in my loft

[Shyster 0]

There was this young fullback called BondOf whom I wasn''t particularly fondDespite being so badHe got the gig because of his dadAnd the fans knew they''d been conned

[john in exile in leeds 4]

Forbes as usual gave the ref his name,

Booked for a tackle that wasn''t tame,

Said the ref: " It wouldn''t be hard

To administer your yellow card

In the dressing room, before the game ! "

[William Darby 0]

Gunn''s management was totally sh iteHis tactics a woeful siteMcNally said, "I can''t invest in ya".And sacked Uncle FesterSo he took his son with him out of spite.

[Shyster 0]

When comparing managers to cars I think last of Glen RoederO''Neil, Rolls RoyceLambert same choiceAnd Roeder, the f*cking idiot, a Skoda

[nutty nigel 7,662]

The forward who now leads our line,

When asked at what hour he''d dine,

Replied, "At eleven,    

At three, five, and seven,

And eight and a quarter past nine.

 

[:O][pi][+o(]

 

 

[Shyster 0]

[quote user="nutty nigel"]

The forward who now leads our line,

When asked at what hour he''d dine,

Replied, "At eleven,    

At three, five, and seven,

And eight and a quarter past nine.

 

[:O][pi][+o(]

 

 

[/quote]

[img]http://services.pinkun.com/forums/pinkun/cs/emoticons/emotion-2.gif[/img]

We shouldn''t have given him a pay rise, he''s obviously spending it on doughnuts.

[lake district canary 0]

On the issue of forwards and weight,

We''ve heard rather too  much of late,

Holt''s six pack is fine

and he''s toeing the line

His belly does not need to deflate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can see

[Norma Stick 0]

I''m no good at these, but a couple of lines; feel free to finish off the verse :

 

There once was a striker called Robins

The manager''s daughter he was kn0bbin

[YankeeCanary 0]

 

Limerick gave a painter worth ''avin

Who liked to have his pint in the tavern

But when Saturday came

He was right on his game

Still the goal scoring king - Johnny Gavin

 

 

 

[norfolkchance1 0]

There was a striker called Maric

Who. never got on to the pitch

He couldnt lace Holts boots

I really couldnt give two hoots

So why should I bother to bitch

[lake district canary 0]

If a verse you are going to write,

Make sure its not full of sh*te,

If you can''t make it rhyme

You''re wasting your time

And City 1st. will get you, alright?

 

 

 

 

 

[Imported Canary 3]

You beat me to it dpit but here goes anyway:

There was a defender named Ward

Whom Hughton completely ignored

He left him out of the squad

Which wasn''t that odd

Because against him teams easily scored

[Nuff Said 5,242]

Not a player, but...Once champions of Europe were LeedsNow they can''t fulfill their fans'' needsThe best players all soldTo Norwich I''m toldThe fans are upset - my heart bleeds!

[Binky 0]

A left-mid, who could play left back

By Roeder was given the sack

But when recalled again

He was King of all Spain

But still not much use in attack.

 

(But he did a good job and played fair,

And his shirt with joy he would wear

An affable lad

He must have been glad

Roeder’s future  - not

his - was elsewhere).

 

And going way back....

 

A forward by the name of Jim Bone

His kind we had never known,

He’d dribble right through

For he was one of the few

Who could take on a team on his own.

 

Bob Dylan, he wrote “Mighty Quinn”

And so we all sang “Hey, Come all Within!”

Did the great Bard not know

His famed Eskimo

Was not a patch on our John

Man - ning.

 

From Rochdale we signed David Cross

And at first he seemed rather dross

But he added some muscle

And was fit for the tussle -

When he left it was truly our loss.

 

And our best ever player (in my book)

Little chips he could easily cook,

And his pin point passes

Had me rubbing my glasses

I mean, of course -  Ian Crook!

[Scooby 0]

Oh Grant you have been so mistreated

By fans who have never been seated

At fortress CR

You''re still best by far

With you we will not be defeated

[drurys testamonials V 15 0]

We had a striker called Sutton

He did not eat excess mutton

He scored in the box

On the wing was Fox

A striker should be no glutton

[Budapest Canary 152]

We had a fine striker, James Vaughan,Who, sadly, was injury-prone.For no obvious reason,He never lasted a season,So the gaffer just sent him on loan.

[Imported Canary 3]

A while back we had Andy Hughes

Who about playing football had very few clues

He was all over the place

With his daft gormless face

And possession he often did lose

[Yobocop 1,105]

David Marshall left when we went down

Ended up in south wales in Cardiff town.

Or was it a city?

Like Dave it was shitty

They liked all their sheep in a sexy gown

[Houston Canary 0]

A local lad played with a passion to

Score so many goals he just happened to

Be worth one million pounds

And we chanted, "15 Rounds

With Justin Justin Justin Fashanu"

 

Not all our former players were crap. The best limericks stick to the traditional patter.

[splutcho 177]

Clingan, an Irishman who,

Upon going down turned Sky Blue,

We jumped up two leagues,

To Clingan we teased,

"Sammy, it could have been you"

[dpit 1]

An urbane goalie called Keelan

Was known for much more than his keepin''

He was nicknamed The Cat

And the reason for that

Was the pussies he''d constantly reel in

[Budapest Canary 152]

"Big Dave" Strihavka, a CzechNeeded reality check.The English gameBrought him no fame,So he left and never came back.

[Lord Horn 0]

Although Clive Woods played for the Scum

His heart was in Norwich...and some

Wound up Eric Gates and all of his mates

By hoping that City had won!

[Lord Horn 0]

The legend that was Trevor Hockey

With other midfielders would jockey

Left them flat on their a**e

Staring at grass

The Viking was mightily cocky!

[Lord Horn 0]

Hugh Curran scored many a goal

Always appeared so in control

When he left I was mad but for him twice as bad

Ended up at the Wolves...what a hole!