LQ 0 Posted June 3, 2009 Brave attempt to lighten things up a bit alert!Since the infamous SC*M scoreboard mishap Carrow Road seems to have lost its sense of humour. I''ve just been looking through some of the BBC choices for best stadium announcement of the season and I''m wondering if we can try to have a bit of a laugh next season as we rampage through the dizzying lows of League One like a dose of salts?Something like this might jolly the mood:"It finishes Crawley Town 2, Woking 2. Be sure to tune in to the BlueSquare Premier Review on Setanta next week to see how far offsideWoking''s first goal was!"Crawley stadium announcer.Or perhaps:"On loan from Tottenham so that he can feel what three points is like - Andy Barcham!"Stadium announcer at Gillingham greets on-loan midfielder Andy Barcham from Spurs, who were bottom at the time.Any ideas for the man with the mike at FCR*?[;)]*keep ''em clean! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JuanVelasco 27 Posted June 3, 2009 [quote user="LQ"]Brave attempt to lighten things up a bit alert!Since the infamous SC*M scoreboard mishap Carrow Road seems to have lost its sense of humour. I''ve just been looking through some of the BBC choices for best stadium announcement of the season and I''m wondering if we can try to have a bit of a laugh next season as we rampage through the dizzying lows of League One like a dose of salts?Something like this might jolly the mood:"It finishes Crawley Town 2, Woking 2. Be sure to tune in to the Blue Square Premier Review on Setanta next week to see how far offside Woking''s first goal was!"Crawley stadium announcer.Or perhaps:"On loan from Tottenham so that he can feel what three points is like - Andy Barcham!"Stadium announcer at Gillingham greets on-loan midfielder Andy Barcham from Spurs, who were bottom at the time.Any ideas for the man with the mike at FCR*?[;)]*keep ''em clean![/quote]Substitution for Norwich, on for number 9 and hat trick hero Cody McDonald is number 10 Jamie Cureton, so that he can kick every matchball to the kids in the Lower Barclay, Upper Barclay, Snakepit, Geoffrey Watling City Stand, Jarrold Stand and that fat bloke hanging out of the window of the ugly grey hotel. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Graham Humphrey 13 Posted June 3, 2009 "...will you please welcome number 10, Jamie Cureton!"[polite applause]"This is a Norwich City Football Club announcement. To ensure the safety of those supporters in Row Z of each stand, will you please now put on your supplied hard hats. Thank you for your co-operation." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Lamberts Disciple 0 Posted June 3, 2009 [Wizard mode on]"Hello!! Where''s our 12th man?! Let''s be...(an interruption, the microphone is knocked and feeds back)(hissed) Why have you given me the wrong script, minion?!(loud) Please welcome the mighty Yeovil to Carrow Road!"(very quiet) Will LQ please report to the inner sanctum for nibbles."[/Wizard mode off] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Graham Humphrey 13 Posted June 3, 2009 "Coming onto the pitch now to make the draw - will you please welcome back to Carrow Road... GLENN ROEDER!""Our next fixture at Carrow Road is this Tuesday night when we entertain Aldershot Town in the first round of the Johnstone''s Paint Trophy. For those of you wishing to buy a ticket for this match, please be aware that unfortunately it has now sold out." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bradwell Yellow 0 Posted June 4, 2009 Half Time Crossbar Challenge Sudden Death Question:"To win an all expenses free weekend at Butlins and for a place in the final, please answer the following question:What''s the name of the team we are playing today? " Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
james norwich 0 Posted June 4, 2009 Please welcome our new club matchday announcer Bryan Gunn, who has now done every job at the club. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
james norwich 0 Posted June 4, 2009 Please welcome back to Carrow Road, the Kings Lynn number 6 Mark Fotheringham. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mello Yello 2,293 Posted June 4, 2009 It''s half-time and we''re 2-0 down against Hartlepool, the majority-shareholder waddles onto the pitch, snatches the microphone from the bemused announcer (who just also happens to be the CE, the Club Chairman, the groundsman, the marketing executive, head chef, team coach driver, Aviva Lemur, Cap''n Canary, head steward, centre forward, goalkeeping coach, NCFC head of media and occasional match-ball sponsor)....Who immediately grabs the microphone back from the slightly swaying and unsteady on her feet majority-shareholder before she''s able to utter a single word - and says, "C''mon now my dear, do behave yourself, I''ll just finish this fag, replace a few more divots and water the centre-circle, then I''ll rejoin you in the Director''s box for the second half...You toddle off back down the tunnel and I promise we''ll stop for fish an'' chips on the way back to Stowey...Ok?" "Yesh, awright Michael darlin''.....but, can I also have mushy peas and 2 pickled onions and some curry sauce with the fish an'' chippy''s?" mumbled the majority-shareholder "Yes my dear, now can you quickly get back to the stand please - or I will have you removed for encroaching onto the pitch...Now, please go." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
William Darby 0 Posted June 4, 2009 Carrow Road Announcer''A message to all the Hartlepool Supporters, your minibus will be ten minutes late in arriving to pick you up'' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mello Yello 2,293 Posted June 4, 2009 [quote user="The Fuehrer with a Pound Shop Keyboard"]Carrow Road Announcer''A message to all the Hartlepool Supporters, your minibus will be ten minutes late in arriving to pick you up''[/quote]...as some NCFC Director''s were caught siphoning the fuel from your minibus to put in their car, so as to enable them to get back to Stowmarket.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
William Darby 0 Posted June 4, 2009 Colchester United Announcer''Would Camuldonum please make himself known to the nearest steward, we''ve found your penis in a crisp packet'' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleCanary 5,562 Posted June 5, 2009 "Fans are reminded that consuming arsenic while in view of the pitch is strictly prohibited." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YankeeCanary 0 Posted June 5, 2009 "Will all fans who are wannabee accountants please leave the ground", which results in the ground becoming totally empty within minutes with the sole exception of Mello Yello, who is hanging on in case surplus biscuits should be on tap. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ctid 0 Posted June 5, 2009 extremely funny, thank you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LQ 0 Posted June 5, 2009 [quote user="The Fuehrer with a Pound Shop Keyboard"]Carrow Road Announcer''A message to all the Hartlepool Supporters, your minibus will be ten minutes late in arriving to pick you up''[/quote]Some of you guys need to be the man with the mike next season - good stuff, thanks.The above has to be the winner so far though. Class![:D] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Fish Seller 0 Posted June 5, 2009 "The winner of this weeks ''Canaries in the Community'' draw is ticket number 38. That''s a Mrs Gladys Bamford of Sheringham so Gladys if you are in the crowd today congratulations my dear you will be starting as centre forward in the next home match, please remember to turn up at least one hour before kickoff" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hogesar 9,672 Posted June 5, 2009 "This is a Norwich City Football Club safety announcement. Fotheringham is currently on the pitch, please be prepared to witness unfounded smugness, whilst preparing to be blinded by the complete lack of football expertise"... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Flashheart 0 Posted June 5, 2009 A Hartlepool announcer wh,o looking upon a near empty ground,says he will now announce the names of the crowd to the teams. [Y] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
William Darby 0 Posted June 5, 2009 [quote user="Lord Flashheart"]A Hartlepool announcer wh,o looking upon a near empty ground,says he will now announce the names of the crowd to the teams. [Y][/quote]LOL that''s a good ''un [:D] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Flashheart 0 Posted June 5, 2009 On refereeing a League One fixture at Carrow Road next season, the announcer opens with "Hello and welcome to The Andy D''Urso Show!" [:P] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Butler 0 Posted June 5, 2009 Welcome to the 50years 22 days and 3 hour anniversary parade of the 59''s team.A special dinner in yellows at £50.00 a seat will be held next Wednesday,Thursday and Friday.For those forgoing their rebate the cost will be £55.00!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yellow chicken 0 Posted June 5, 2009 "For those fans travelling on the away supporters'' coach, please be advised that it has broken down."Announcement at Aldershot v Dagenham and Redbridge, followed by loud cheers from the home support.ment that made me laugh. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Graham Humphrey 13 Posted June 5, 2009 "Would the owner of a black Vauxhall please return to your vehicle immediately, another car has crashed into it and it has suddenly gone up in flames. SOUNDS AWESOME! Quick everybody, let''s go and look..." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WeAreYellows49 0 Posted June 5, 2009 [quote user="Graham Humphrey"]"Would the owner of a black Vauxhall please return to your vehicle immediately, another car has crashed into it and it has suddenly gone up in flames. SOUNDS AWESOME! Quick everybody, let''s go and look..."[/quote]LMFAO Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JJJJ 0 Posted June 6, 2009 [quote user="Graham Humphrey"]"Would the owner of a black Vauxhall please return to your vehicle immediately, another car has crashed into it and it has suddenly gone up in flames. SOUNDS AWESOME! Quick everybody, let''s go and look..."[/quote]Haha!! Probably more interesting than what we can expect on the field next season ;] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites