My Mum's poor

[Tony Harrison 0]

My Mum''s poor. We hent got no Dad and she does bit of cooking but theres not much money in it. When I moan about being poor she cries or drinks a lot of wine and gets drunk and says " theres loads of investment, you ungrateful little s**t. Everythings brilliant " or she will hit me or get creepy mister doncaster to come round from next door where he still lives with his mum and tell me why mummy is poor and how I shudnt upset her cos shes doing her best.............mr doncaster is boring.

My toys are old and they smell and I love some of them but some of them are s**t. My friends down my road dont even go to the posh school that I went to years ago and even they have all got much better toys than me.

Mum borrows toys from her mates but they are always the ones that their kids dont want no more and they smell or go wrong or dont work.

I''m specially sad today cos I''ve got a mentally retarded half-cousin who lives in stuffolk or something like that. His mum dialled the number for him and told him what end to talk and what end to listen and then he said that his new dad had sold someone something called a "shooter" and with the money got him a new toy from a man in newcastle.

The toy was the same one I really, really, really wanted and would have made my other toys much less s**t.

I hate my mum. If she would have been more "friendly" with that nice mr cullum (he said he wud get me a playstation 3) I woudnt even have wanted the newcastle toy if she wud have let him stay the night.

[Minster Canary 0]

Absolutely quality mate, sums the situation up perfectly with humour, brilliant!

[Marty 0]

what tripe.

[ncfcstar 292]

Lol good post, although you can sometimes have fun with borrowed toys!

[Badger 0]

Perfect.

[Beauseant 0]

[quote user="Tony Harrison"]

My Mum''s poor. We hent got no Dad and she does bit of cooking but theres not much money in it. When I moan about being poor she cries or drinks a lot of wine and gets drunk and says " theres loads of investment, you ungrateful little s**t. Everythings brilliant " or she will hit me or get creepy mister doncaster to come round from next door where he still lives with his mum and tell me why mummy is poor and how I shudnt upset her cos shes doing her best.............mr doncaster is boring.

My toys are old and they smell and I love some of them but some of them are s**t. My friends down my road dont even go to the posh school that I went to years ago and even they have all got much better toys than me.

Mum borrows toys from her mates but they are always the ones that their kids dont want no more and they smell or go wrong or dont work.

I''m specially sad today cos I''ve got a mentally retarded half-cousin who lives in stuffolk or something like that. His mum dialled the number for him and told him what end to talk and what end to listen and then he said that his new dad had sold someone something called a "shooter" and with the money got him a new toy from a man in newcastle.

The toy was the same one I really, really, really wanted and would have made my other toys much less s**t.

I hate my mum. If she would have been more "friendly" with that nice mr cullum (he said he wud get me a playstation 3) I woudnt even have wanted the newcastle toy if she wud have let him stay the night.

[/quote]

 

Absolute genius!!!

[Ian 1,136]

Quite amusing, I like the fact that it''s a fair satire for once too.Not only do the club, and our friends down the road, have fun poked at them, but so do the spoilt, whinging children who are described in the first person!Good work [Y]

[Berkshire Canary 12]

Great post!!! [:D]

[renegade tootsie 0]

Truth hurts doesn''t it, even in story form.[quote user="Marty"]what tripe.[/quote]

[? 20]

Very funny! :o)

[Shyster 0]

[quote]Truth hurts doesn''t it, even in story form.[/quote]

Yes, indeed it does, I''ve noticed that elsewhere on this Forum. [:P]Though I must say that this particular story sucks large ones.

[Thecanaryfan 0]

Nice one! Harrison. POTD.

[Inch High aka Inchy.. 412]

A++ for you young man.

[Tony Harrison 0]

My mum has bin on her moby all day. she sent me down to corner shop to get top up card. she look really, really worried. she just shouted at my uncle glen , she said "he ent even any f****** good glenn, wait til my family credit gets in and I''l take you down roys o wroxham and you can have anything you like, my darlin"

My mum looks really, really worried.

[pak mei 0]

[quote user="Tony Harrison"]

My Mum''s poor. We hent got no Dad and she does bit of cooking but theres not much money in it. When I moan about being poor she cries or drinks a lot of wine and gets drunk and says " theres loads of investment, you ungrateful little s**t. Everythings brilliant " or she will hit me or get creepy mister doncaster to come round from next door where he still lives with his mum and tell me why mummy is poor and how I shudnt upset her cos shes doing her best.............mr doncaster is boring.

My toys are old and they smell and I love some of them but some of them are s**t. My friends down my road dont even go to the posh school that I went to years ago and even they have all got much better toys than me.

Mum borrows toys from her mates but they are always the ones that their kids dont want no more and they smell or go wrong or dont work.

I''m specially sad today cos I''ve got a mentally retarded half-cousin who lives in stuffolk or something like that. His mum dialled the number for him and told him what end to talk and what end to listen and then he said that his new dad had sold someone something called a "shooter" and with the money got him a new toy from a man in newcastle.

The toy was the same one I really, really, really wanted and would have made my other toys much less s**t.

I hate my mum. If she would have been more "friendly" with that nice mr cullum (he said he wud get me a playstation 3) I woudnt even have wanted the newcastle toy if she wud have let him stay the night.

[/quote]apparently Mr Cullum was in comet today offering £37.50 for a playstation 3, comet wouldn''t sell. apparently the EDP are running a storey tomorrow on how comet say they want to sell playstation 3''s but really want to keep them all for themselves

[Tony DaWonderful 35]

[quote user="foggo7"][quote user="Tony Harrison"]

My Mum''s poor. We hent got no Dad and she does bit of cooking but theres not much money in it. When I moan about being poor she cries or drinks a lot of wine and gets drunk and says " theres loads of investment, you ungrateful little s**t. Everythings brilliant " or she will hit me or get creepy mister doncaster to come round from next door where he still lives with his mum and tell me why mummy is poor and how I shudnt upset her cos shes doing her best.............mr doncaster is boring.

My toys are old and they smell and I love some of them but some of them are s**t. My friends down my road dont even go to the posh school that I went to years ago and even they have all got much better toys than me.

Mum borrows toys from her mates but they are always the ones that their kids dont want no more and they smell or go wrong or dont work.

I''m specially sad today cos I''ve got a mentally retarded half-cousin who lives in stuffolk or something like that. His mum dialled the number for him and told him what end to talk and what end to listen and then he said that his new dad had sold someone something called a "shooter" and with the money got him a new toy from a man in newcastle.

The toy was the same one I really, really, really wanted and would have made my other toys much less s**t.

I hate my mum. If she would have been more "friendly" with that nice mr cullum (he said he wud get me a playstation 3) I woudnt even have wanted the newcastle toy if she wud have let him stay the night.

[/quote]

apparently Mr Cullum was in comet today offering £37.50 for a playstation 3, comet wouldn''t sell. apparently the EDP are running a storey tomorrow on how comet say they want to sell playstation 3''s but really want to keep them all for themselves
[/quote]

Now Thats Funny!

[LinkNR9 0]

This post has restored my faith in this message board, which has been far too serious and ''up-its-own-backside'' of late.

[The Fish Seller 0]

[quote user="foggo7"]apparently Mr Cullum was in comet today offering £37.50 for a playstation 3, comet wouldn''t sell. apparently the EDP are running a storey tomorrow on how comet say they want to sell playstation 3''s but really want to keep them all for themselves[/quote]

Having seen the same playstation on my many visits to Comet I can''t say that I blame Mr. Cullum for trying to get a bit knocked off the asking price.What you forgot to mention was that this particular PS3 has been on display in the shop window for several years, it was originally part of a bundled set but over the last couple of years the game disappeared and we all know how expensive it would be to get a new game for a PS3, on purchase it needs sent straight back to Sony for expensive repairs because the controller can only go sideways or backwards, it just can''t go forward no matter how hard it''s pressed but on the bright side at least the box was stored carefully so all the packaging is in perfect condition.[:P]

[Canary Wundaboy 1,360]

Loved the OP, nice work mate.