kick it off

Thank you, I really appreciate the considered advice and support. We currently kind of semi live together, she was staying here like 4 nights a week, and was about to move in full time in a few weeks (she was excited about that and we were happily picking out a holiday 3 weeks ago - that's why I don't believe she has made this choice with any rationale except survival), but she is staying with a friend for the foreseeable future. I have reconciled with giving her the space she needs and haven't contacted her today at all. The temptation is strong, but I realise that all I will do is push her further away, as you say, so I'm refraining. She will reach out sooner or later because all her stuff is down here and hopefully we can have some kind of positive, supportive convo but any discussion of us has to be parked until she is well enough to think about it rationally and come to a measured decision. I've spent pretty much the last 24 hours on the phone. Talking through the situation definitely helps. I even called the Samaritans last night (not suicidal, but nobody else was around cuz it was really late and I needed to talk it through). Considering whether to stay somewhere else for the weekend, I'm not in work tomorrow as I'm just not fit to be, and have already informed them. I'm not on any social media, she's on all of them pretty much but I've pretty much kept clear of that. I know there is nobody else in the picture or anything like that so I don't really have any cause to go snooping. I hear you about taking care of myself, I do need to do better on that front. I hadn't rationalised it as being something that she may need me to be doing if she does want support etc at any point. Even though I still strongly believe there is hope for us, I still can't shake the feeling of emptiness and everything being pointless right now. It's not just the loss of my relationship, because she was so much more. I'd built my life around her, she was my support system, my rock, we have each other's back always, and mostly she is my best friend. We've been pretty much inseparable for two years, and have stuck together with some horrific **** being thrown at us. It's really difficult to accept that suddenly she doesn't want my support or help, and just wants to be left alone. It's just not her. It's like losing the relationship, all the things I mentioned above, and also losing the person she is/was. I know it's temporary and she will be back once she has got through the stress period, but I just hope that when she does get back to herself that she still wants me in her life.

My ex split up with me last night. I'm totally shattered, and broken and I dont know what to do with myself. I've never been like this before after a breakup but I had never invested so much in a relationship before. She is my best friend, my soulmate and we had our futures planned together. We'd been together nearly 2 years and been through a really rough series of events happening from external factors, including being the primary caregivers as her mum fought a short, unexpected and BRUTAL battle with cancer. Her mum passed away last July, and she has a lot of unprocessed grief and trauma (as do I but obviously its a differing scale). We've been going well recently, both happy in the relationship, but she has recently taken a turn into quite a dark episode. She suddenly went from getting on with life, with grief in the background but ever present to being totally unable to process any emotion. No joy, no sadness, no anger, just numbness. She described it as feeling like she wasn't present, and her body did things on autopilot. She cannot think more than 24 hours ahead or plan anything. It was like a switch was flicked, closing off her emotions. She is essentially having a disassociative episode, where her frontal cortex (Logic, reasoning, decisions) shuts down and her Limbic system takes over (survival instinct). It's basically a response to high stress levels that stops you functioning so that you can just survive and get through each day. She decided that she had too many pressures on her time and couldn't get enough headspace to do what she needed to do to process the grief. She has exams coming up, one of her family members is in a dark place and I was the time pressure that was optional not mandatory. She basically said she has to make time to deal with her grief and that she doesn't have any emotional capacity for anybody else right now. She is determined she wants to figure this out on her own and wants to be by herself. I understand and accept that, but I can't reconcile that with where the relationship was just a few weeks ago and it having to end. I can give her whatever space she needs for as long as she needs it. My priority is her feeling better. I feel like ending the relationship instead of pausing it is a survival response, not a rational one (not through ego or anything, just because I've watched her behaviour). There are other minor issues on the horizon which she flagged in terms of circumstance and logistics but these are ones we could easily resolve, however at the moment, there is no talking to her, she's made her mind up that these obstacles are insurmountable and that's that. I need to wait for the rational part of her brain to re-engage before I can have those kind of convos with her. My current process is I'm not taking this as being the end for us, because I don't believe she's made this choice based on logic, but because of the survival response. She has never indicated her feelings changed or anything like that even as we broke up. I would accept the decision if I thought she had considered it with all her cognitive functions and that's what she chose, but I don't think that's the case, I think she has done what she needed to do to survive in the moment. I don't think she will process the breakup with me until after her exams finish, because the survival mode operation is very much tunnel vision. I think that after her exams, she will have space to get into a better headspace and evaluate what she really wants. She may decide then it is over, and I will accept that and move forward, but I think there is a strong chance that she may want the relationship back. I know that sounds like denial, but it's what I believe having looked at the situation objectively and rationally. Sorry for the essay! My question is, whilst I have hope for us in the future, in the here and now, she has told me she doesn't want me or my support. She wants to be alone. How the **** do I deal with it without falling apart? I haven't eaten since Sunday, I didn't sleep at all last night, I'm an absolute mess and I don't know how to fix me. I feel so broken, lost and empty without her by my side, we've been inseparable for two years.

I think the words "based on" are being used fast and loose here. I'm pretty sure the original bear didn't go on a murderous rampage, but actually just had a massive heart attack and died. Im still fully on board for watching the film though.

Agreed. I think with the new owners inbound imminently, and Ron getting up there in years, if Bienemy succeeds then Rivera will take a front office job and hand the keys to Bienemy. I'm really intrigued, but for once I think the hire is a home run. Regardless of if he succeeds or not, he is the best candidate on the table for a team like us right now. If it doesn't work then it doesn't work, but I don't see any other name that is a better shout for the job, who would actually take it with a dumpster fire owner we currently have and a probable lame duck Head coach.

Random story but this reminded me. Used to work running the activities dept at a school teaching English as a foreign language during uni holidays. We used to play a 7 a side every week, staff vs kids. One week we got absolutely destroyed- it was embarrassing. Ended up losing like 8-1. Turned out 5 of the 7 15 year old were in the Juventus academy. Wish I'd noted their names down somewhere to see if they ever made it!!!

Bienemy. Let's go.

He said it on Soccer AM years and years ago too

Sounds like we're about to sign an Aussie/British striker... seriously, I know he's not a super fan but he has mentioned us a few times publically (think his mum was from norfolk). there are few clubs that have a cooler celeb fan than wolverine. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/entertainment-arts-64683677

So now had to time to decompress from Iceland, my overlying take is still the same. I'd go again happily but never in February! Would need to really look at it and assess the best time of year to go. For the record, waterfalls were spectacular, geyser at Strokkur impressive, thingvellir was really cool, although as someone who dives, I'd like to check out lake Silfra and dive between the tectonic plates too if I went back. Icelandic people not what I expected, much friendlier and warmer than I anticipated. Worth a trip to see it, although be aware that it's a lot of sitting around on a coach. Probably fine if you're with loved ones but trickier when it's 40 15 year olds accompanying you. Now starting to look ahead to summer and what that entails. Got a week in Devon booked in already for mum's 60th, just got to organise some kind of relatively cheap, hot, beach holiday with the kids (aged 2 and 6, recommendations of kid friendly destinations welcome, preferably europe and not too much of a flight) and if finances allow, maybe a trip to Egypt with the missus to see the coral reefs again before we destroy them all through climate change.

Ermmmm not what I thought to be fair. I've spent a huge amount of time on coaches over last few days. Some cool stuff here but not sure I'd hurry back, and if I did, I definitely wouldnt be rushing back in February!

Off to Iceland on Monday. Not been before so looking forward to it, but it's a school trip with 40 year 10s though so won't be a relaxing jaunt!

Giannoulis can just **** off at this point. Not good enough. Total liability. Offers very little going forward. Get rid in the summer.

Did you even read the original comment that said the ref was **** but its out own fault we lost today? There's so much pathetic inability to read perfectly coherent posts and take them totally out of context on here after a defeat. It's endemic, inaccurate and unhelpful.

Lungi might be better suited to that role than Gibbs to be fair.

True but I don't think hes the solution either.

It absolutely was a pen, and the inconsistency with bookings was absurd. He missed a corner that went 4 yards off the pitch ffs. But like I ALREADY said, he was **** but we were architects of our own downfall.

Not just that... the 2nd place player on that stat had made 3 all season. Krul has made 3 in the last 3 games!!

That was really poor. Can deal with losing to Burnley but the goals we conceded were disgusting. Early **** up from Krul was so predictable after last few weeks. Two really **** set piece goals and thats the game. Burnley are good but they're not ****ing Barcelona. Gave them far too much respect from kick off. Ref was diabolical but we were architects of our downfall today.

Academy trusts are a way of centralising and cost-cutting on some measures, for example instead of having 5 HR people across 5 schools, you can have all the schools under one umbrella and have 3 HR people who do all the HR for the 5 schools, shared policies means reduced workload in some areas allowing extra capacity for the 3 people etc etc. Also useful as a vehicle for redistributing funds between schools and providing liquid capital etc. Instead of 2 schools saving up for 3 years to fit a new computer room, they can both have them instantly and then recoup the costs from later budgets. They aren't offering us higher pay, teachers are paid on main salary scale at every school in the country, sometimes lower salary if you choose to work in private education (never understood why private schools offer lower pay despite obviously having more money but it's true) and there's no bonuses, no incentives, no overtime etc. Not complaining, just saying how it is.

I've got a mate who plays football with a family member of somebody within the club hierarchy. His understanding is that Aarons' missus is dead set on staying in Norfolk and raising kids there, and Max is quite content with Norfolk life and doesn't have any desire to push that particular button. Not to say he wouldn't ever move, but from what I've heard, I think it would have to be an amazing opportunity for him to do it. Moving to say Southampton/Leeds or somewhere wouldn't push the needle for him. God knows if it's true but I have no reason at all to doubt it, any info that's come my way from this particular person before has stood up to scrutiny.

Sorry, misread it totally and was a bit confused

Is it not on the side of the picture you posted?

Have to say I really enjoyed watching this. DW comes across incredibly well, is very likeable, and as mentioned above, is very humble. I loved his honesty and the straightforward way he says things. He had numerous opportunities to give pandering soundbites to some of the questions but didn't take any of them, just gave a genuine response. Clearly very driven and focused on what he wants to achieve. I'm incredibly optimistic about the future with him at the wheel, exactly the kind of guy I want managing Norwich City. I think we're in for a really exciting time over the next few seasons.

Agree 100%. It's not like there is loads of NCFC content available, and they are invaluable to us exiles who aren't in Norfolk. I really like the TNC podcast and listen to pretty much every one. When you don't live in Norfolk, they make you feel connected in a way that didn't exist before TNC. ****** are going to criticise but I massively appreciate their efforts too.

Thats looking likely to be my next one