Friday Early

[morty 0]

[quote user="Captain Holt"]Come on now, don''t be stealing from sikipedia. That doesn''t count.[/quote]Lol, and you write all your jokes yourself?

[Captain Holt 522]

I never post on these threads. Someone just sent me that one at work and I posted it. I often go on sikipedia for a laugh.

[rjwc22 0]

I have just been on sickipedia and realised that my funny friend is not as original as I once thought!

[Shack Attack 0]

[quote user="Beauseant"]

Strange also that those who have railed against the joke thread turned a blind eye to some extremely offensive comments about wheelchair users by one of their own number last week. The problem with trying to claim the moral high ground is that you then have to live up to your principles instead of simply broadcasting them.[/quote]

Beau

I want to clear a couple of points up here and then I''m going to leave you to swap your jokes.

1) I am not ''trying to claim the moral high ground''. If you''ve paid attention to some of my previous posts you would see that morality isn''t really my thing!  I have never been particularly offended by any of the jokes left on this thread and I have never ''railed against the joke thread'' or complained to Pete about it''s content.

2) If I were to start a thread in this forum entitled ''Exciting developments in the Slovenian Premier League'' or ''What''s your favourite cheese?'' it would be moved to Other Football or It''s Not Just Football. And rightly so. That was the point I was trying to make in my original post today.

3) The thing about freedom of speech is that whilst it allows people to say what they want, within the confines of the law, it also allows others to complain if they find what is said offensive. Replying to such complaints with ''it''s only a joke'' or ''if you don''t like it don''t read the joke thread'' isn''t good enough in my opinion. Again I must point out that I have never made a complaint about the content of any of the jokes posted as you seem to be insinuating.

4) I didn''t see the offensive joke that you mention from last week and I don''t know who posted it. Let me know what it was and I''ll tell you whether I find it offensive. Which posters are in my ''own number''? I like offensive humour and have posted stuff myself in the past that probably crosses the line of what some people would deem acceptable so I doubt I''ll be that bothered by it.

5) I''d be perfectly happy to scrap all of the sub-forums and have one big one where we could discuss whatever we want. But until that happens Pete''s decision to allow this thread to remain in this forum but remove anything else he considers OT smacks of favouritism.

Cheers. Shack.

[rjwc22 0]

[quote user="Shack Attack"]

[quote user="Beauseant"]

Strange also that those who have railed against the joke thread turned a blind eye to some extremely offensive comments about wheelchair users by one of their own number last week. The problem with trying to claim the moral high ground is that you then have to live up to your principles instead of simply broadcasting them.[/quote]

Beau

I want to clear a couple of points up here and then I''m going to leave you to swap your jokes.

1) I am not ''trying to claim the moral high ground''. If you''ve paid attention to some of my previous posts you would see that morality isn''t really my thing!  I have never been particularly offended by any of the jokes left on this thread and I have never ''railed against the joke thread'' or complained to Pete about it''s content.

2) If I were to start a thread in this forum entitled ''Exciting developments in the Slovenian Premier League'' or ''What''s your favourite cheese?'' it would be moved to Other Football or It''s Not Just Football. And rightly so. That was the point I was trying to make in my original post today.

3) The thing about freedom of speech is that whilst it allows people to say what they want, within the confines of the law, it also allows others to complain if they find what is said offensive. Replying to such complaints with ''it''s only a joke'' or ''if you don''t like it don''t read the joke thread'' isn''t good enough in my opinion. Again I must point out that I have never made a complaint about the content of any of the jokes posted as you seem to be insinuating.

4) I didn''t see the offensive joke that you mention from last week and I don''t know who posted it. Let me know what it was and I''ll tell you whether I find it offensive. Which posters are in my ''own number''? I like offensive humour and have posted stuff myself in the past that probably crosses the line of what some people would deem acceptable so I doubt I''ll be that bothered by it.

5) I''d be perfectly happy to scrap all of the sub-forums and have one big one where we could discuss whatever we want. But until that happens Pete''s decision to allow this thread to remain in this forum but remove anything else he considers OT smacks of favouritism.

Cheers. Shack.

[/quote]

Binner. ;)

[Mister Chops 7]

[quote user="Beauseant"]

Strange also that those who have railed against the joke thread turned a blind eye to some extremely offensive comments about wheelchair users by one of their own number last week. The problem with trying to claim the moral high ground is that you then have to live up to your principles instead of simply broadcasting them.[/quote]

I''m not sure where the "one of your number" comment comes from, Shack Attack has nothing to do with me.I complained only about the racist jokes, reported only those posts, and only those posts were deleted... and I don''t see finding racism offensive as "claiming the moral high ground" particularly.  With reference to the wheelchair users, I don''t recall ever claiming that I was not a hypocrite.  Who would be brave, or un-self aware enough, to make such a claim?

[First Wazzock 904]

Perhaps we should run things past you before we post Chopsy, in case it offends your sensibilities, as you seem to have taken on the role of board censor.

 [:O]

[Woman in the Stands (WITS) 0]

Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara

desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped

dead without warning.

After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed

their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke.

''Well,Sister, this looks pretty grim.''

''I know, Father. In fact, I don''t think it likely that we can

survive more than a day or two...'' 

''I agree,'' says the Father. ''Sister, since we are unlikely to

make it out of here alive, would you do something for me?''

''Anything, Father...''

''I have never seen a woman''s breasts and I was wondering if I

might see yours.''

''Well, under the circumstances I don''t see that it would do

any harm.'' 

The

Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely

breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. 

''Sister,

would you mind if I touched them?''.......she consented and he fondled

them for several minutes.

''Father, could I

ask something of you?''

''Yes, Sister?''

''I have never seen a man''s penis. Could I see yours?''

''I suppose that would be OK,'' the Priest replied lifting his

robe. 

''Oh, Father, may I touch it?'' 

The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he

was sporting a huge erection.

''Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right

place, it can Give Life.''

''Is that true, Father?'' 

''Yes, it is, Sister.''

''Oh, Father, that''s wonderful... Stick it in the camel and

let''s get the hell out of here!''

[Herman 9,819]

Did i post the Alzheimers joke?

[Woman in the Stands (WITS) 0]

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close

to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells

her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can''t stand it

anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department

and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.The

Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks:  ''What''s sexually

threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?''

The woman replies, “It''s Keith. The midget.”

[Hooleyfan 0]

I''ve just fostered a kid from Ipswich...caught him on the back of the head with all four cans

[Shyster 0]

Three mice were drinking in a bar when one turned to another and said "I''m hard as f*ck I am - I went home the other day, took the cheese off the mouse trap and benched the bar 20 times."The second mouse said "That''s fuck all - I went home and benched it 50 times with one hand." "F*ck!" said the first mouse.The third mouse necked his pint and headed for the door..."Where the f*ck are you going?" said the two mice."I''m off home to f*ck the cat."

[Shyster 0]

Andy Larkin recently found out that his mum made a porno back in the 70''s.He doesn''t know what disgusts him more, the fact that she was in it or the fact that he carried on w*nking after recognising her.

[Shyster 0]

Gordon Brown goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor doctor, every time I look in the mirror I get aroused."The doctor replies, "I''m not surprised...you''re a c*nt."

[Harry 0]

 DATE RAPE DRUG TARGETS MALES

Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers and unsuspecting pub

regulars to keep alert and stay cautious when offered a

drink from any woman. A new date rape drug on the market, called

"beer", is used by females to target unsuspecting

men. The drug is generally found in liquid form, and is now available

almost anywhere.

"Beer" is used by female sexual

predators at parties and bars to convince their male victims to go

home and have sex with them. Typically, a woman

needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and then

simply ask him home for

no-strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach: After several "beers"

men will often

succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to

whom they would never normally be

attracted. Men often awaken after being given "beer" with only hazy

memories of exactly what has happened to them

the night before, just a vague feeling that something bad occurred. At

other times these unfortunate men are stung for

their life''s worth in a familiar scam known as "a relationship".

Apparently men are easier victims of this

scam after "beer" is administered and have previously been sexually

approached. Please! Forward this warning to

every male you know.

However, if you fall victim to this insidious "beer" and the

predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with

venues in every town

where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an

open and frank manner with

similarly-affected, like-minded guys. For the nearest such support

group near you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the

yellow pages.

[Bill 1,788]

Two mother-in-laws walked into a pub and the landlord said

"What are you having ? "

So the first parrot said

"is this bartender"

whereby the pakistani said

" I dunno about you but that irishman tastes funny"

[Woman in the Stands (WITS) 0]

 DATE

RAPE DRUG TARGETS MALESAlcohol - helping ugly people have sex for years [;)]Allegedly

[Shyster 0]

Morty goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor doctor, every time I look in the mirror I get aroused."The doctor replies, "I''m not surprised...you''re a welfare cheque."

[morty 0]

[quote user="Shyster"]Morty goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor doctor, every time I look in the mirror I get aroused."The doctor replies, "I''m not surprised...you''re a welfare cheque."[/quote][IMG]http://i869.photobucket.com/albums/ab257/mortymccarthy/poster.jpg[/IMG]

[Mister Chops 7]

[quote user="First Wazzock"]

Perhaps we should run things past you before we post Chopsy, in case it offends your sensibilities, as you seem to have taken on the role of board censor.

 [:O]

[/quote]Nah, post what you like.  If I think it''s racist then I''ll report it, and if Pete agrees then he''ll delete it.

[Mister Chops 7]

[quote user="Herman "]Did i post the Alzheimers joke?[/quote]Funny.

[Harry 0]

[IMG]http://i530.photobucket.com/albums/dd347/barclayendchoir/treeme3.jpg[/IMG]

[Shyster 0]

Mister Chops goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor doctor, every time I look in the mirror I go limp."The doctor replies, "I''m not surprised."

[Mister Chops 7]

[quote user="Shyster"]Mister Chops goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor doctor, every time I look in the mirror I go limp."The doctor replies, "I''m not surprised."[/quote]Shyster goes to the doctor and leaves again because they''re not from round here.

[Shyster 0]

[quote user="Mister Chops"][quote user="Shyster"]Mister Chops goes to the doctors and says, "Doctor doctor, every time I look in the mirror I go limp."The doctor replies, "I''m not surprised."[/quote]Shyster goes to the doctor and leaves again because they''re not from round here.[/quote]

HA! [img]http://www.pinkun.com/cs_pinkun/cs/emoticons/emotion-21.gif[/img]

[Houston Canary 0]

Shyster knows comedy. Too bad some others don''t.

What do you call a bullfighter with no arms and no legs?

Gord (gored).

I''ll be here all week. Try the pork chops.

[Mister Chops 7]

[quote user="Mister Chops"][quote user="Beauseant"]

Strange also that those who have railed against the joke thread turned a blind eye to some extremely offensive comments about wheelchair users by one of their own number last week. The problem with trying to claim the moral high ground is that you then have to live up to your principles instead of simply broadcasting them.[/quote]

I''m not sure where the "one of your number" comment comes from, Shack Attack has nothing to do with me.I complained only about the racist jokes, reported only those posts, and only those posts were deleted... and I don''t see finding racism offensive as "claiming the moral high ground" particularly.  With reference to the wheelchair users, I don''t recall ever claiming that I was not a hypocrite.  Who would be brave, or un-self aware enough, to make such a claim?

[/quote]The only other thing I will say on this is that there is a clear difference in my mind between what I acknowledge was an unpleasant and regrettable reply to one individual (prompted by me being told to "F*** off"), and the unprompted posting of racist jokes for general hilarity and amusement.

[Beauseant 0]

Shack and Chops,

Thanks for your replies. You are both posters that I enjoy reading and with whom I suspect I have a lot of common ground, even if I don''t fully agree with you on this issue.

Let me first of all make it clear that I do find some things posted on the thread offensive, am totally opposed to racism and have a long  history of activity against it. Does that mean that I can''t laugh at an Irish joke without compromising my integrity? As I''ve said before, our "laughter reflex" for want of a better phrase, isn''t rational, it''s instinctive. For example, I went to see Sean Lock last night who did a set piece about Nick Griffin looking "like a fire at Madame Tussauds" due to his uneven shoulders, bent nose and pasty features. I laughed like a drain, but should I have stopped myself because it was offensive to people with physical imperfections? He also told a joke about  thinking that the "catch it, bin it, kill it" campaign referred to dogs and implying that he''d killed his neighbour''s pet. Again, hilarious (you had to be there) but should I have complained about him advocating cruelty to animals?

The point is, where do you draw the line? Chopsy comment about Wiz WAS offensive, but it was also bloody funny, so am I a bad person for sniggering, any more than he''s a bad person for posting it? It''s a can of worms because we''re trying to apply rationality and received values to what is, in effect, a very primal response.

The point I was making is that what is offensive to me may not be offensive to you, or vice versa, which is why I laugh at what tickles me and skip over the rest rather than reporting it, because I think everyone else should have that right, not just me.

As to whether the thread should be there at all, given the subforum''s, I accept Shack''s point, but that''s Pete''s decision, and it''s clear that a lot of people look forward to it.

[Trent Canary 0]

[quote user="Beauseant"]

Shack and Chops,

Thanks for your replies. You are both posters that I enjoy reading and with whom I suspect I have a lot of common ground, even if I don''t fully agree with you on this issue.

Let me first of all make it clear that I do find some things posted on the thread offensive, am totally opposed to racism and have a long  history of activity against it. Does that mean that I can''t laugh at an Irish joke without compromising my integrity? As I''ve said before, our "laughter reflex" for want of a better phrase, isn''t rational, it''s instinctive. For example, I went to see Sean Lock last night who did a set piece about Nick Griffin looking "like a fire at Madame Tussauds" due to his uneven shoulders, bent nose and pasty features. I laughed like a drain, but should I have stopped myself because it was offensive to people with physical imperfections? He also told a joke about  thinking that the "catch it, bin it, kill it" campaign referred to dogs and implying that he''d killed his neighbour''s pet. Again, hilarious (you had to be there) but should I have complained about him advocating cruelty to animals?

The point is, where do you draw the line? Chopsy comment about Wiz WAS offensive, but it was also bloody funny, so am I a bad person for sniggering, any more than he''s a bad person for posting it? It''s a can of worms because we''re trying to apply rationality and received values to what is, in effect, a very primal response.

The point I was making is that what is offensive to me may not be offensive to you, or vice versa, which is why I laugh at what tickles me and skip over the rest rather than reporting it, because I think everyone else should have that right, not just me.

As to whether the thread should be there at all, given the subforum''s, I accept Shack''s point, but that''s Pete''s decision, and it''s clear that a lot of people look forward to it.

[/quote]This [Y]   Its tough to argue that one section of jokes is offensive and should be deleted, then ignore the other sections that other people may find offensive. Not accusing anyone on here of this, but theres a definitely a culture in the UK of people who go out of their way to be offended, and its not getting any better.I do agree however, that this should be in a sub-forum, therefore making it easier for some people to avoid it (Even though not clicking on it in the first place is a pretty straight forward task)This is a pretty good article discussing the furore over Jimmy Carrs Paralympics joke, tis a good read http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/nov/05/jimmy-carr-paralympics-joke

[Beauseant 0]

[quote user="Trent Canary"][quote user="Beauseant"]

Shack and Chops,

Thanks for your replies. You are both posters that I enjoy reading and with whom I suspect I have a lot of common ground, even if I don''t fully agree with you on this issue.

Let me first of all make it clear that I do find some things posted on the thread offensive, am totally opposed to racism and have a long  history of activity against it. Does that mean that I can''t laugh at an Irish joke without compromising my integrity? As I''ve said before, our "laughter reflex" for want of a better phrase, isn''t rational, it''s instinctive. For example, I went to see Sean Lock last night who did a set piece about Nick Griffin looking "like a fire at Madame Tussauds" due to his uneven shoulders, bent nose and pasty features. I laughed like a drain, but should I have stopped myself because it was offensive to people with physical imperfections? He also told a joke about  thinking that the "catch it, bin it, kill it" campaign referred to dogs and implying that he''d killed his neighbour''s pet. Again, hilarious (you had to be there) but should I have complained about him advocating cruelty to animals?

The point is, where do you draw the line? Chopsy comment about Wiz WAS offensive, but it was also bloody funny, so am I a bad person for sniggering, any more than he''s a bad person for posting it? It''s a can of worms because we''re trying to apply rationality and received values to what is, in effect, a very primal response.

The point I was making is that what is offensive to me may not be offensive to you, or vice versa, which is why I laugh at what tickles me and skip over the rest rather than reporting it, because I think everyone else should have that right, not just me.

As to whether the thread should be there at all, given the subforum''s, I accept Shack''s point, but that''s Pete''s decision, and it''s clear that a lot of people look forward to it.

[/quote]

This [Y]   Its tough to argue that one section of jokes is offensive and should be deleted, then ignore the other sections that other people may find offensive. Not accusing anyone on here of this, but theres a definitely a culture in the UK of people who go out of their way to be offended, and its not getting any better.

I do agree however, that this should be in a sub-forum, therefore making it easier for some people to avoid it (Even though not clicking on it in the first place is a pretty straight forward task)

This is a pretty good article discussing the furore over Jimmy Carrs Paralympics joke, tis a good read http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2009/nov/05/jimmy-carr-paralympics-joke
[/quote]

 

I think Jummy Carr is a perfect example, Trent. His humour is incredibly close to the edge(or over it) and I frequently laugh (the primal instinct) and then think "I shouldn''t have laughed at that" (the received values response).

We all have feet of clay and very few of us are ever totally true to our values, if we''re totally honest with ourselves.