My new weekly column in the Evening news?

[The Sweeney 0]

Should he even be in the community?

[Arthur Whittle 0]

[quote user="The Sweeney"]

After all this lot how about Arthur Piffle?  Surely the papers can find something more interesting to fill their copy. I for one am totally bored with the "serial" posters- a waste of time and space. Still if it keeps them happy and off the streets whilst  filling their otherwise empty world then I am all for that.

Back to the real world!

[/quote]

Get over yourself mate. And people moan that im to serious!

[The Sweeney 0]

Told you! In the real world or what? Answers on a postcard to Arthur Piffle

P.S "to" has two "oo"s so no chance of a job as a proofreader

[Mister Chops 7]

[quote user="The Sweeney"]

Told you! In the real world or what? Answers on a postcard to Arthur Piffle

P.S "to" has two "oo"s so no chance of a job as a proofreader

[/quote]Why not give it a Norwich or Norfolk dialect theme?You could do worse than "Arf''a Whitt''s worth of squit."Or, simply:  "The sky is falling!"

[Mister Chops 7]

Arthur Whittle:  More Bile and Spittle.

[Wings 0]

[quote user="fuzzyfelt"]Arthur Whittle:  More Bile and Spittle.[/quote]Replace the word "more" with "pointless" and you''re onto a winner.

[gsr600 0]

its a good job u can take a few insults hey arther as most of this thread shouldve been called lets deride a fellow fan, i for one will look forward to a weekly column in the paper giving a fans opinion on the state of things as seen from a perspective of a fan of how long now arther, a few years at least

well hows about thisarthur full or arthur empty whats your glass like

[First Wazzock 902]

Why not give it a Norwich or Norfolk dialect theme?

Great Idea !

I can see the headline, Blast weere lorst agin. (Blast we have lost again - This is the sub title) !

[Mister Chops 7]

I think I was a bit unfair to you there, Arthur.  Seeing as you''re from the Coachmakers Arms, "The View from the Coach" would be a good one.

[lappinitup 629]

Now arthur, I know you''re not famed for your humour on this board but having just read through all seven pages of this thread again and the good spirit in which you''ve taken some of the suggestions brings me to one conclusion. Your column should be called..........

a LARF with ARF.

That is exactly what this thread has been.

Good on yer mate !    [;)]

 

[Arthur Whittle 0]

[quote user="lappinitup"]

Now arthur, I know you''re not famed for your humour on this board but having just read through all seven pages of this thread again and the good spirit in which you''ve taken some of the suggestions brings me to one conclusion. Your column should be called..........

a LARF with ARF.

That is exactly what this thread has been.

Good on yer mate !    [;)]

 

[/quote]

Glad everyone got in the spirit of things. I wasnt at all offended by suggestions, i was flattered if anything that people went to so much thought for me.

[The Sweeney 0]

Dream on ! Dream on! Soon be time for you medication.

[Arthur Whittle 0]

[quote user="The Sweeney"]Dream on ! Dream on! Soon be time for you medication.[/quote]

Enjoy your night in with your hand again matey. Clearly a man/boy of genius wit and humour.

[The Sweeney 0]

I have my hand(s) with me every night-they do not come to any ''arm. Its called the long arm of the law.

Don''t worry about your injection-it''s just a little ''rick 

[ca 1]

I''ve enjoyed this thread too and have had a moment of inspriration tonight.

Lets call it '''' Arthur''s sluggy stories '''' [:)] [:)]

 

[First Wazzock 902]

Arthur''s garden pests and other football managers I know. [:)]

[First Wazzock 902]

I''m confused now is it gardening or football Arth ??

[Arthur Whittle 0]

[quote user="Steve Burns"]I''m confused now is it gardening or football Arth ??[/quote]

Not sure myself now...Arthurs plot or Arthurs lost the plot!!

[First Wazzock 902]

I say Arthur for groundsman!

[First Wazzock 902]

Protest with Arthur.

[First Jedi 0]

A Dying Art?

 

(I''m struggling here!)

[First Wazzock 902]

arrdee wrote

Now Arto you lovely old boy , you are such a sweet thing , but at your age i can understand your predicament .If i could offer some advice , when you have your column ready I don''t think you should lose a lot of time , In fact if i was you i would fly about like a wild man , never mind showing it to the wife and saying "What do you think of that " Never mind adding "Thats the best column you have ever seen i hope" I do feel you must get this on as quick as you can , just in case it all gets lost . arrdee.

On the up with Arthur.

[Snuggles 0]

It''ll make a change from "Balls on Thursday".

 

[First Wazzock 902]

Arthur writes the wrongs, or should that be rights the wrongs.

[First Wazzock 902]

Pigeon fancier Arthur has had his chips. [:D]

[YankeeCanary 0]

 

King Arthur And His Nights Around A Fable.

[arrdee 2]

When I first read that Arto had a column in the evening news I was out of my chair like a shot , Ruth said to me "where are you off to arrdee at this time of night" I said "City Angel said Arto has a column in the evening news " " are you alright that''s a round trip of 7 miles , "I don''t care if its 700 when Arto writes I have to read it" " oh better get me one as well"  she said , I grabbed my bike out of the shed , "where are my clips" ,"could they be on your handlebars where you always leave them " ? oh arr,  I was away down the drive , cracked my head on a low growing branch, must remember  to cut that off sometime ,blood dripping down my face , out down the lane through the pagan part of the village where they still stone strangers , I cant always remember the password , Is Tues canary or city I never can remember , so I just belt out "on the ball city" as loud as I can , I hope I never hear that whistling noise as a stone is coming in because those old boys are lethal , they say they never miss . I have seen their piles of stones , round ones for long distance and half bricks for close in work .

Out on the main road , cars passing me , going like rockets , they were all after Artos column , so it proved , when I got to the Newsagents and staggered in the door , I gasped "Evening News please , "sorry sir sold out" , when I shouted "What" and when he looked up to see this blood drenched , cycle clipped vision of loveliness advancing towards him shouting "what", he threw an Evening News on the counter saying "just the one let sir"as he backed up against the wall , I didn''t care if it had Mr Pilch written on the top it was mine .

Home in a record time with a backing wind , up the drive , just missed the branch , must tell Ruth to cut that off sometime when she has a spare minute , feet up on the sofa , now for this lovely treat , Ruth will have to wait till I have finished with it , must remember to tell her not to fold it over Artos column . I looked and I looked and I looked , there was no sign of you Arto , someone had found a hornets nest and someone had seen a fox dead on the side of the road and some lovely old boys were worried in Diss about the days their bins would be emptied , Not a word from Arto about the state of the Canaries , which I was doting on .

Now after two months there has been nothing done about that branch , I know Ruth has been busy painting the house and of course she has been very busy with making sausages , burgers, etc but for goodness sake how long does it take to saw a branch off ? I know she has got a good saw as I have seen one in her tool box , I seems to me if you want anything done about here you have to do it yourself . [:D] arrdee.

 

  

[lappinitup 629]

Brilliant.   [:D]

[Leedscanary 339]

Arrdee, you are a legend. Your posts always cheer up my week, maybe it should be you getting a column in the Evening News!

Leeds Canary (Arrdee''s Young Gun)

[ca 1]

You are funny Arrdee [:D]