Bunny Larkins Torn Shorts

[arrdee 2]

Bunny Larkins torn shorts , I promised to tell you this story , and here it is , remember i don''t make things up and i don''t tell lies , this is exactly as it was , I must have been about 13 judging were i was on the wall , the low wall that ran along the front of the main stand , there was a pecking order that i will tell you about and how it worked in a later post , I must have been 5th or 6th from the tunnel which was as far as i got , we were like fledglings ready to fly the nest . From the start of that season we had this party of supporters that would arrive at 2 -45 consisting of a mother , her great big son and 3 or 4 of their drinking mates , you could smell the drink from 20 yds , they always stood just behind us , plenty of room in those days , now mum  always looked as if she had just finished having 20 throws on the box (dice) and had won more than she had lost , the outstanding thing about her was her illfitting dentures they use to drop down every time she opened her mouth , No dentist could have made them for her , i am sure she was looking after them for someone , either that or her regular partner on the box was her dentist,  that would explain it , She would stand behind her son a step or two up hook her chin over his shoulder put her arms round his belly (that took some doing )he would clasp her hands and then say "cumfy mum" ?"ummmmm"and the old girl would be asleep . I dubbed him"  cumfy" as you would know .Us boys would be sitting on the wall looking out over the pitch as they arrived waiting with baited breath "cumfy mum"? "ummmmm" we would explode in laughter .Often cumfy would shout" gather round boys i want to make water" this they would achive useing a pint mug bending down pouring it out on the steps  this cut out the splash i suppose ,they always left the mug behind sitting on the steps after the match  always full , Quite how cumfy managed with his hands clasping mums i don''t know , perhaps one of his mates helped him ,i would rather not think about it When Bunny tore his shorts he made a good job of it , from top to bottom , the plan was to turn Bunny round in a record time , the new shorts were ready , the towels were ready they called Bunny off showing all his thigh  i heard this cackling coming from behind me the old girl was awake , making a fist and raising her arm up and down in that age old gesture of sexual arousel ,The first part of the plan went like clockwork  the old shorts were gone , now this is were things went wrong the right leg went through alright however the left one got caught up the trainers were trying to pull them up Bunny was trying to pull them down to have a fresh start , the trainers seem to win the battle as his studs appeared through the crotch of his shorts followed by his toe , Bunny was by this time irate swearing at the top of his voice , the two with towels were dancing and side stepping trying to keep Bunny covered ,they were like two matadors with an enraged bull on their hands , it was getting like the Hay market out there as more people tried to help only adding to the confusion, mum had got on to a squeal by this time , arm pumping like a piston , i was twisting on my perch watching the old girl twisting back to see Bunny this was rich fare indeed , and then it happened  Bunny crashed into one of the matadors down went the towel and there was Bunny in all his glory , there was uproar at this point mum cracked "get out of the way you fat cumfy " that is not the word she used but thats as close as i can get on the board  ,she knocked cumfy and his mates flying the laughter on my face turned to horror  as i realised she was heading straight at me ,the old girl was moving like air , i opened my mouth to shout a warning but nothing came out ,her knee hit me in the back as she tried to haul herself over the bar above our heads but mum was spent she collapsed over the rail and hung there like a wet blanket expelling wind from every orifice , just above my head i might add , she promptly reguritated down a boys back about two pints of Watneys best laced with ,now listen, about a pint of cockles that had not even been champed they were pristine you could have picked them off his back and re-sold them , her top set landed at my feet ,i don''t know how i was not sick , cumfy came and unwound her ,snatching up her teeth saying "look out boy these are mums" that should have confirmed that her dentist was her regular partner on the box , but thinking about it he would hardly have said"look out boy these are the next door neighbours"would he ? he kept asking mum what had happened and looking around to see if he could find a culprit responsible for mums strange behaviour.Bunny had performed the first ever male lap top dance and had driven the old girl insane, i don''t think the journey was very far though .Every thing settled down we went back to watching dire mid table 2nd div  football,  the boy two down moaning about the state of his alcohol shellfish stained jacket , mum no doubt dreaming of Bunnys finer points , cumfy still looking for someone to blame and making water every so often ,as for  me i was  thinking i have got to  get out of this place i have ended up in a hellhole of alcohol and urine ,this was the nudge i needed ,the shaking of the nest if you will , i was flying .After the match i always tried to have a word with the players as they came off , some would not give you the time of day Bunny would always have a word , this match a woman said "Bunny you could have saved my blushes if you had changed your shorts down the tunnel "Bunny always with the quick quip said" Haven''t you seen a good cxxx ,bxxxs, and axxx, before"?Well i don''t think anyone would seen them any more if cumfys mum had got her hands on them , but perhaps the damage would not have been too  great because i am sure she would lost her teeth before she got to Bunnys vitals , Thats the story of Bunnys torn shorts as i remember it , i hope you all enjoyed it [:D] arrdee.

[nutty nigel 7,902]

Arrdee

YOU are THE MAN! [*][*][*][Y]

 

 

[YankeeCanary 0]

Ray, that was wonderful. I truly almost choked my toast up as I was reading it. Now I too had the pleasure of watching Bunny Larkin and company but, compared to you, I certainly did not get my money''s worth. I probably would have if Mum had not used me as a stepping stone on the way to Bunny''s glory.

[Rudolph Hucker 0]

Classic.

[Shack Attack 0]

Cracking stuff Ray.

[canary cherub 1]

"I laughed till I cried" - literally.

 

[arrdee 2]

[quote user="YankeeCanary"]Ray, that was wonderful. I truly almost choked my toast up as I was reading it. Now I too had the pleasure of watching Bunny Larkin and company but, compared to you, I certainly did not get my money''s worth. I probably would have if Mum had not used me as a stepping stone on the way to Bunny''s glory.[/quote]

Now Yankee you lovely old boy are you telling me you were the boy who had the contents of cumfys mums finest down your back ?[:)] arrdee.

[lappinitup 629]

Brilliant stuff arrdee. I was in the south stand that day so too far away to see much although anyone could see Bunny (Ada if you recall after Ada larkins on tv) was not shy.

I seem to remember someone telling me some time back that Bunny still lived in Norwich. Constitution hill way I think. Anybody Know?

 

[YankeeCanary 0]

[quote user="arrdee"]

[quote user="YankeeCanary"]Ray, that was wonderful. I truly almost choked my toast up as I was reading it. Now I too had the pleasure of watching Bunny Larkin and company but, compared to you, I certainly did not get my money''s worth. I probably would have if Mum had not used me as a stepping stone on the way to Bunny''s glory.[/quote]

Now Yankee you lovely old boy are you telling me you were the boy who had the contents of cumfys mums finest down your back ?[:)] arrdee.

[/quote]

No, I''m afraid I''m fibbing on that score Ray, although my mother did have a similar problem with her dentures.

[arrdee 2]

Just a footnote to this thread sorry .But i did see cumfy and his gang with mum intact about 68 one year before i got married .It was in the South stand , we were going to watch the match from the half way line , cumfy and his gang turned up , I said to Ruth "i think we can see better from the corner flag " she looked at me as if i was nuts, but i could not expose her tender 16yr old  ears to cumfy and co , I would not have got her with in a  mile of Carrow rd and i could not  have that , I would like to clear up one or two questions asked ,Kathy no i was not responsible for the Molly Malone song ,I remember singing it though , I remember i composed (lol) a song for the bus ride to the ground , It was the Seekers Morning town ride ," Rocking rolling riding all along the way all bound for Carrow Rd to see the mighty play , Foggo is the engine and thats how he will stay all bound for Carrow Rd to see the mighty play,"I would change the names of the players to who ever was in favor with me . My next Blast from the Past will be , How hard it was to be a city supporter when i first went to school in the mid 50s ,the year 57 when we asked for re-election to the league after finishing last in Div 3 south the year Ricardo talked about . The year that arrdees world fell apart ,i was in deep deep trouble and i could not do a thing about it , my life as a  City supporter had come to an end  . yep its all about me , on second thoughts no i can''t bore you with that it would be unkind [:)] [Y] arrdee

[arrdee 2]

[quote user="arrdee"]Bunny Larkins torn shorts , I promised to tell you this story , and here it is , remember i don''t make things up and i don''t tell lies , this is exactly as it was , I must have been about 13 judging were i was on the wall , the low wall that ran along the front of the main stand , there was a pecking order that i will tell you about and how it worked in a later post , I must have been 5th or 6th from the tunnel which was as far as i got , we were like fledglings ready to fly the nest . From the start of that season we had this party of supporters that would arrive at 2 -45 consisting of a mother , her great big son and 3 or 4 of their drinking mates , you could smell the drink from 20 yds , they always stood just behind us , plenty of room in those days , now mum  always looked as if she had just finished having 20 throws on the box (dice) and had won more than she had lost , the outstanding thing about her was her illfitting dentures they use to drop down every time she opened her mouth , No dentist could have made them for her , i am sure she was looking after them for someone , either that or her regular partner on the box was her dentist,  that would explain it , She would stand behind her son a step or two up hook her chin over his shoulder put her arms round his belly (that took some doing )he would clasp her hands and then say "cumfy mum" ?"ummmmm"and the old girl would be asleep . I dubbed him"  cumfy" as you would know . Us boys would be sitting on the wall looking out over the pitch as they arrived waiting with baited breath "cumfy mum"? "ummmmm" we would explode in laughter .Often cumfy would shout" gather round boys i want to make water" this they would achive useing a pint mug bending down pouring it out on the steps  this cut out the splash i suppose ,they always left the mug behind sitting on the steps after the match  always full , Quite how cumfy managed with his hands clasping mums i don''t know , perhaps one of his mates helped him ,i would rather not think about it .When Bunny tore his shorts he made a good job of it , from top to bottom , the plan was to turn Bunny round in a record time , the new shorts were ready , the towels were ready they called Bunny off showing all his thigh  i heard this cackling coming from behind me the old girl was awake , making a fist and raising her arm up and down in that age old gesture of sexual arousel , The first part of the plan went like clockwork  the old shorts were gone , now this is were things went wrong the right leg went through alright however the left one got caught up the trainers were trying to pull them up Bunny was trying to pull them down to have a fresh start , the trainers seem to win the battle as his studs appeared through the crotch of his shorts followed by his toe , Bunny was by this time irate swearing at the top of his voice , the two with towels were dancing and side stepping trying to keep Bunny covered ,they were like two matadors with an enraged bull on their hands , it was getting like the Hay market out there as more people tried to help only adding to the confusion, mum had got on to a squeal by this time , arm pumping like a piston , i was twisting on my perch watching the old girl twisting back to see Bunny this was rich fare indeed , and then it happened  Bunny crashed into one of the matadors down went the towel and there was Bunny in all his glory , there was uproar at this point mum cracked "get out of the way you fat cumfy " that is not the word she used but thats as close as i can get on the board  ,she knocked cumfy and his mates flying the laughter on my face turned to horror  as i realised she was heading straight at me ,the old girl was moving like air , i opened my mouth to shout a warning but nothing came out ,her knee hit me in the back as she tried to haul herself over the bar above our heads but mum was spent she collapsed over the rail and hung there like a wet blanket expelling wind from every orifice , just above my head i might add , she promptly reguritated down a boys back about two pints of Watneys best laced with ,now listen, about a pint of cockles that had not even been champed they were pristine you could have picked them off his back and re-sold them , her top set landed at my feet ,i don''t know how i was not sick , cumfy came and unwound her ,snatching up her teeth saying "look out boy these are mums" that should have confirmed that her dentist was her regular partner on the box , but thinking about it he would hardly have said"look out boy these are the next door neighbours"would he ? he kept asking mum what had happened and looking around to see if he could find a culprit responsible for mums strange behaviour .Bunny had performed the first ever male lap top dance and had driven the old girl insane, i don''t think the journey was very far though . Every thing settled down we went back to watching dire mid table 2nd div  football,  the boy two down moaning about the state of his alcohol shellfish stained jacket , mum no doubt dreaming of Bunnys finer points , cumfy still looking for someone to blame and making water every so often ,as for  me i was  thinking i have got to  get out of this place i have ended up in a hellhole of alcohol and urine ,this was the nudge i needed ,the shaking of the nest if you will , i was flying .After the match i always tried to have a word with the players as they came off , some would not give you the time of day Bunny would always have a word , this match a woman said "Bunny you could have saved my blushes if you had changed your shorts down the tunnel "Bunny always with the quick quip said" Haven''t you seen a good cxxx ,bxxxs, and axxx, before"? Well i don''t think anyone would seen them any more if cumfys mum had got her hands on them , but perhaps the damage would not have been too  great because i am sure she would lost her teeth before she got to Bunnys vitals , Thats the story of Bunnys torn shorts as i remember it , i hope you all enjoyed it [:D] arrdee.[/quote].

Perhaps this will explain it City Angel , "blah3,[:D] arrdee.

[Saint Canary 0]

Great post! Look forward to more.  It would be so good if some of you guys got together to write a fans history of City.  I would buy it!

[lucky green trainers 0]

real good read arrdee

[Saint Canary 0]

Bump.

Sorry this is too good to slip off the first page yet.

[mbncfc 1]

Thank you RD, worth every word!

[blahblahblah 2]

Aaaaaaaah.  Gotcha. 

Brilliant as usual arrdee.

[albyella 0]

Classic......I can almost taste those cockles..