Simple Jack

Good news for lahdidah posh London plastics who pretend to like soccer. Two man scrum Tarquin!

The afternoons are traditionally left free for the snooker hall, the turf accountant or dogging.

The floodlight pylon came down on to the terracing in that corner.

A "must win" game is one which, should the result go against us, would leave the supporters feeling very sad. Probably because it pretty much guarantees relegation. Players, conversely, will shrug their shoulders, phone their agents to sort out an inglorious yet hasty move to another club and sit back to enjoy their champagne in the VIP section of a local nite spot.

LDC''s gaff sounds promising - the spiritual home of the plastics.

Will it be contested tomorrow?

Clappers ... All you need to add is LDC style halfy-half scarves for a plastics paradise.

You''re right, it is hard to believe we are "unlikely to go down". Personally, I think it highly probable.

McNally has asked for the yellarmy to assemble tomorrow at 3.00. Obviously this refers to real fans who are actually going to the game, those whose vocal support can be heard by the players. But in these days where being "inclusive" is deemed to be so important, is the club organising an alternative assembly point for plastics/stream-watchers?

Late March and still a pitiful solitary goal from Finidi van Georgewinkel. Looks like the vicar knows his onions. Should he be Director of Football?

Only seen Wolf play 3 times? I had no idea you were a plastic.

I think you''re right but that "someone else''s team" he''d fit so well in to probably play at Sloughbottom Park on Sunday mornings.

Binner

His "movement" is woeful. Half the time he gormlessly stands there ball watching, the other half he hides up to avoid getting the ball. The other players only pass to him if there is no other option because he will instantly lose possession. But at least h looked good on all those YouTube clips eh, young Ginger? Did you ever see Mark Fotheringham? He looked good on YouTube as well. Ricky Von Fotheringhamswinkel

When was the last time someone cleared the roof of the Jarrold when hoofing the ball?

Wolf, Hooper and Becchio were all "scoring for fun" in Mickey Mouse leagues. Holt was a spent force and looking for a way out.

It still never ceases to amaze me when people drone on about not playing to Wolf''s "strengths". Putting aside YouTube clips (remember the Fozzy Flick?) I''d just like to know what these strengths are. Those of us who go to games could catalogue a depressingly long list of weaknesses. But strengths???

Handbags - the guy is a pansy. More embarrassing simulation of injury.

Nexus - I go games, watch the players in the flesh. My view is "informed". As a stream watching plastic yours is not.

Objective (get someone to tell you what that means)

Many people were carried along by the size of his price ticket and all that that promised. He has flopped completely. Those believers must face facts, no matter how much all those letters on your shirt cost - Ricky Can''t Cut It! And you''re right Ginger, he did play well today. No goals (again), no assists (again), complete lack of positional sense (again), easily bullied off the ball (every time he got it) embarrassing injury simulation (again). So good even Clueless Chris could see we has no cutting edge with him on the field and he was substituted (again). He wasn''t replaced because he had tirelessly run himself in to the ground. He was hoiked off because he was (rap (again). It is my honest belief that the other players only pass to him as a last resort because you are effectively surrendering possession.

Changing manager will change not a jot for hapless Ricky. It''s rather more about a lack of ability. He looks like a pub league player who has won a place in a Premier League team as a competition prize. Completely, embarrassingly, out of his depth.

But what about his painful twisted sock?

Drazen Muznic Steve Walsh Jason Jarrett Ulf Otterson Ricky van Wolfswinkel

Ruddy''s form has dipped this season. Some of the goals we''ve conceded would have been saved a couple of years ago. Wouldn''t be surprised if he misses out and waves adios to us in the summer.