TIL 1010 4,746 Posted March 10, 2017 Today is International Women''s Day. It was supposed to be yesterday but they took longer than expected to get ready. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OldRobert 38 Posted March 10, 2017 Yes Til like that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Greavsy 2,413 Posted March 10, 2017 Nice one Tilly, that''s a cracker. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TIL 1010 4,746 Posted March 10, 2017 I have just bought some viagra tea bags.They don''t improve your sex life but they stop your biscuits going soft. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hoola Han Solo 448 Posted March 10, 2017 Nice to see sexism still alive and well. Is this still the 1970s? 🙄 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Greavsy 2,413 Posted March 10, 2017 If they don''t like it, they can go back to the kitchen.;-) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SwindonCanary 455 Posted March 10, 2017 I think that if I died and went straight to hell it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn''t at work anymore. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Barclay seats 4849 the 3rd 0 Posted March 10, 2017 A Norwich City supporting horse went into a bar , the barman asked " why such a long face " 😬 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lessingham Canary 99 Posted March 10, 2017 A guy goes to the doctor: “Please help me doc. I have this horrible blinking in my right eye that I just can’t control.” Doctor: “Ah come on, it’s not so bad as you think.” Guy: “Oh, you think?! Every time I go to the chemist to get some painkillers, they give me condoms!” Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lessingham Canary 99 Posted March 10, 2017 Since this week saw international woman''s day.......Said to the wife, what do you say to a nice walk? Oh Lesso, that would be lovely! Wonderful. Could you bring me some beer and cigarettes on your way back. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Greavsy 2,413 Posted March 10, 2017 Man to wife - put your coat on.Wife - where are we going?Man - you''re not, im going down the pub, so turning the heating off!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny Stump 1 Posted March 10, 2017 I saw some scum fans playing football with a hedgehog, so I thought I''d step in to help the poor thing.I needn''t have bothered though, it was already 2-0 up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Herman 9,764 Posted March 10, 2017 Started the Katie Hopkins diet. Lost twenty four thousand pounds already. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TIL 1010 4,746 Posted March 10, 2017 I have just started a band called 999 megabytes but we still haven''t got a gig. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
im spartacus canary 0 Posted March 10, 2017 I went to the surgery this morning and said doctor I keep thinking I''m a trumpet ! He said that''s strange we had a woman in this morning kept thinking she was a mouth organ.I said oh that would be our Monica.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OldRobert 38 Posted March 10, 2017 How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lessingham Canary 99 Posted March 10, 2017 Question: Why are hurricanes sometimes named after women? When they come, they’re wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TIL 1010 4,746 Posted March 10, 2017 The Police called at the house and showed me a photo. They asked if it was the wife and when i said yes they said that it looked as if she had been hit by a bus.I said i know but she is good with the kids. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny Stump 1 Posted March 10, 2017 I went to the zoo the other day.It only had one animal.It was a Shih Tzu. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bill 1,788 Posted March 10, 2017 A man goes in to see his doctorthe doctor tells he''s got to stop wa nkingthe man asks whythe doctors says it''s making his desk shake Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 11, 2017 Telephone rings, woman answers.Pervert, breathing heavily, says, "I bet you have a tight arse with no hair?"Woman replies, "Yes, I have.. He''s watching the football .... Who shall I say is calling?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 11, 2017 A lady was picking through the frozen Chickens at an Iceland store but she couldn''t find one big enough for her family.She asked a passing assistant, "Do these Chickens get any bigger?"The assistant replied, "I''m afraid not, they''re dead." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites