TCCANARY 263 Posted September 2, 2015 Seeing that he''s gone into some kind of depressive state I think it''s up to the rest of us to try and cheer him up, please post your cheer him up jokes here. Q. How many Riccardo''s does it take to change a light bulb?A. One, but he needs to have several Peroni''s first. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TCCANARY 263 Posted September 2, 2015 Apologies for spelling your name incorrectly. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ricardo 7,395 Posted September 2, 2015 [quote user="TCCANARY"] Seeing that he''s gone into some kind of depressive state [/quote]I think I feel more angry and disappointed than depressed and I can''t get over the feeling that we have made some needless errors in recent days.Life with NCFC is never a smooth ride but we should be trying to avoid the pot holes not driving straight into them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Iwans Big Toe 312 Posted September 2, 2015 Times New Roman, Comic Sans and Arial walk into a bar.The barman says "Sorry we don''t serve your type." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Iwans Big Toe 312 Posted September 2, 2015 Did you hear about those two container ships that collided in the North Sea?One was carrying red paint, the other blue paint.All the survivors were marooned. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Iwans Big Toe 312 Posted September 2, 2015 My dad was a man of very few words.I remember he used to say to me ''Son................. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Iwans Big Toe 312 Posted September 2, 2015 I used to own a racehorse.When he retired he trained as an electrician.He was great at finding the manes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ricardo 7,395 Posted September 2, 2015 [quote user="Iwans Big Toe"]Times New Roman, Comic Sans and Arial walk into a bar.The barman says "Sorry we don''t serve your type."[/quote]A smile stared to form but I quickly suppressed it.[;)] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigFish 1,987 Posted September 2, 2015 Ricardo, they say live your dreams.But personally I don''t want to do an exam naked I haven''t revised for. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ricardo 7,395 Posted September 2, 2015 [quote user="BigFish"]Ricardo, they say live your dreams.But personally I don''t want to do an exam naked I haven''t revised for.[/quote]I guess I''m not the only one that needs psychiatric help.[:D] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Herman 9,765 Posted September 2, 2015 How many Ricardos does it take to change a lightbulb?None. He''d rather sit in the dark. Nobody can see the tears that way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
im spartacus canary 0 Posted September 2, 2015 They were so poor in Ricardos house when he was growing up that Ricardo thought knives and forks were jewelry 😁 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nuff Said 5,141 Posted September 2, 2015 Suffolk council has blocked Ipswich''s plans to build a newground on a park. A town hall source said: "We don''t mind having a funfairthere once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit much.""I was playing Scrabble and had enough letters to make''Ipswich Town Football Club''. I was gutted when I found out it wasn’t worth anypoints."Tesco are releasing new Oxo cubes in Ipswich colours.Customers are told to look out for laughing stocks.A young boy goes to social services and tells them he hasnowhere to live. "What about your parents?" asks the social worker."No, they beat me," says the boy. "What about yourgrandparents?" says the social worker. "No, they beat me evenharder!" says the boy. "Well ... where do you want to staythen?" replies the social worker. "Ipswich," says the boy."They don''t beat anyone.Mick McCarthy, shortly after another training session,comments to the head groundsman at Portman Road how impressive the pitch islooking. "It ought to," replies the groundsman. "We put 10million fifty quid''s worth of manure on it every week."I just went down to the newsagents and bought Ipswich Townmagazine. Thank goodness they had porn mags to hide it in.What does an Ipswich fan do after he sees his team win?Turns off the XboxAfter leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he wasgoing to help Ipswich get out of the championship. He turned around and said,"No way, I ain''t that special".A man was found dead floating in the Orwell, wearing a blondwig, full make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and an Ipswich shirt. Beforeinforming the next of kin the police removed the Ipswich shirt to save thefamily embarrassment.Did you hear that Mick McCarthy was clocked doing 169mph onthe M25 coming back from Brighton? Apparently he was just so desperate forthree points.A man is sitting in a pub with his Jack Russell dog duringthe playoff semi-final. The football results are coming up on the television inthe corner: "Norwich City 3, Ipswich Town 1" reads the announcer.Suddenly the Jack Russell jumps up and shouts out, "Oh, no, notagain." The shocked landlord says, "That''s amazing. Why did he saythat when it was announced that Ipswich lost?" "Because he''s anIpswich supporter," the dog''s owner replies. The landlord then asks whatthe dog says when Ipswich beat Norwich, to which the man replies, "I don''tknow. I''ve only had him five years."A little boy gets £10 for his birthday and rushes down tothe sports shop to buy the new football he has been desperate for. He gives theball to the shopkeeper, who says, "Sorry, son, this ball is £20. You onlyhave £10". The boy says, "OK, if you blindfold me and I can guess thename of the club on any ball, will you give it to me for £10?" He agreesand gives the boy an Arsenal ball. "I can hear cannons blasting, so it''san Arsenal ball." Next he gives him a Millwall ball: "I hear lions,so it''s Millwall." Amazed, the shopkeeper says, "Get this and you canhave it for nothing." The boy listens and says Ipswich. The man asks ifhe''s heard a horse. "No," says the boy. "It''s going down." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nuff Said 5,141 Posted September 2, 2015 I particularly like the last one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ricardo 7,395 Posted September 2, 2015 [quote user="Nuff Said"]I particularly like the last one.[/quote]Yeah, they certainly made me chuckle.[Y][:D] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iron_stan 0 Posted September 2, 2015 given that youre normally the sensible/objective/fairly positive one on here im quite glad youre a bit annoyed by all this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Barclay seats 4849 the 3rd 0 Posted September 2, 2015 I feel exactly the same way Ricardo ,,, I know that''s no consolation to you , but as stated here , to know you feel the same way I do ,,, gives credence to my own feelings on a personal level . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samuel 0 Posted September 2, 2015 What''s green, juicy and really, really really long?The grape wall of china.If that doesn''t cheer you up then suicide really is your only option. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nutty nigel 7,535 Posted September 2, 2015 He''s always been a miserable old blogger... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Herman 9,765 Posted September 3, 2015 I hope that story is true Nutty. That''s brilliant. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites