Pi$$ed As A Mattress

Irish Joe takes his goldfish to the vet claiming it has epilepsy. " The fish looks fine to me Joe" says the vet. "Yes vet, but you havent seen him out of the bowl yet have ya?" says Joe

What do you get if you cross a Jehoavahs Witness and a Millwall fan? Someone who knocks on the door and tells YOU to f**K off

Whats the difference between an Essex Girl and a bowling ball?.. You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball

What have Essex Girls and bowling balls got in common? They both like to be picked up, fingered and then banged down an alley

Got attacked in an alley by three guys last night. I knocked one out. Granted, It wasnt the best time for a w**k but it could have been my last

I''m voting for the Icelandic Volcanic Party...They''ve done more to stop Immigration in the last month than Labour have done in the last 13 years

where do you work?

rather like Oli, McNamee has a chant already....thinks he is already a hero and doesnt perform to the best of his abilities

Just waiting for the usual tw@t to come on and moan about Chris Martin. He is overweight, lazy and has ONLY scored 22 goals this season. We need to send him out on loan...he is rubbish

First Wizzard gets a mention. Blame Holt.

get the message, the only gap that matters is between us and third place !!!

ha ha

What an indifferent bunch on there tonight

If every other word is f**k or c**t then they have every right to glare, If it isnt (as you said) they are just miserable gits who have nothing better to do than bloody moan. Sing your heart out !!!

WHAT IS THIS DICKS NAME?

F**KING CHEATING C**T

Well pee''d off

How the f**k was that deliberate handball?

I thought it was a joke when someone posted on here that Smudger had been hit !!! Brilliant news. The best things come to those who wait !!

Ah, now thats where I was sat. Mostly corpses in there. One old boy was extremely white and looked like he had been there since the last home game

reckon there is history there. could have been a very good ploy by Rusty

I was at the Leeds game yesterday and I could have sworn at one point that the N & P stand woke. It was only briefly but I am convinced I heard a noise coming from that end. My mate thinks I must have been drinking but I am so sure I definately heard something!!! Help put this to bed please

I know Cedric Anselin and Robert Ullathorne

Born today???? that means he is far too young to be playing football

Just hit this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boT0oNkWr0I