The Rise of Norwich City article

[calriv 0]

Hi everyone, I was a frequent poster on the site until my exams, but I''m an aspiring football journalist and have recently written an article about the rise of Norwich, so if you could give it a read and any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks :)

 

http://thefootballfront.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/rise-of-norwich-city.html

[Canaries Utd 0]

Very pretty, short and to the point, i would say the journey has been greater than the few paragraphs you have submitted, did you have a word limitation thing going on?

[NWC 240]

Authors write long things, journo''s write short things.Its concise, direct and factually correct which is very important. Its good - well done!Have you sent it to anyone?

[calriv 0]

Yeah, it''s mostly 500 or around that, but I would have gone on to explain the turnaround in terms of formation, players, staff etc.

[calriv 0]

[quote user="NWC"]Authors write long things, journo''s write short things.

Its concise, direct and factually correct which is very important. Its good - well done!

Have you sent it to anyone?
[/quote]

 

Not anyone massive, but the website it''s on has about 2400 followers on twitter, should I email it to some newspapers?

[thenorthstand 0]

[quote user="calriv"]

Hi everyone, I was a frequent poster on the site until my exams, but I''m an aspiring football journalist and have recently written an article about the rise of Norwich, so if you could give it a read and any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks :)

 

http://thefootballfront.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/rise-of-norwich-city.html

[/quote]

Good stuff - my football blog is in my signature but I''m looking for contributors - interested in joining in? Drop me an email :)

[NWC 240]

[quote user="calriv"]

[quote user="NWC"]Authors write long things, journo''s write short things.Its concise, direct and factually correct which is very important. Its good - well done!Have you sent it to anyone?[/quote]

 

Not anyone massive, but the website it''s on has about 2400 followers on twitter, should I email it to some newspapers?

[/quote]They would probably re-write a lot of it, and you might not recognise your own work!!Try some footballing websites first. As you said you were taking exams I take it you are still at school or FE - tell them that, and definately ask them nicely for feedback, + be brave/smart enough to take it!!Good Luck.

[William Darby 0]

Who taught you to start sentences with ''but''?  Journos getaway with ''and'' but ''but'' is just plain wrong.

[lappinitup 629]

[quote user="The Pinkun Role Model"]Who taught you to start sentences with ''but''?  Journos getaway with ''and'' but ''but'' is just plain wrong.[/quote]But why?

[barclay seats 4849 0]

[quote user="calriv"]

[quote user="NWC"]Authors write long things, journo''s write short things.Its concise, direct and factually correct which is very important. Its good - well done!Have you sent it to anyone?[/quote]

 

Not anyone massive, but the website it''s on has about 2400 followers on twitter, should I email it to some newspapers?

[/quote]

[paul moy 235]

You write that the 7-1 defeat was ''inexplicably the turning point''.  Inexplicably means ''difficult to explain'' so I would say that that is the wrong word to use bearing in mind we all know that it can be explained by the subsequent recruitment of Paul Lambert. My choice of word would be ''undeniably'' or ''undoubtedly''.  

[Bill 1,788]

"At that point, City were very, very close to going into administration and possibly liquidation, a truly dire situation"

Nonsense"But we were bailed out"eh, who by ?"Ironically, Norwich were promoted when they won 1-0 at Charlton"Ironically ? You mistake coincidence for ironicThat''s about as far as I got

[PurpleCanary 5,561]

[quote user="The Pink un Role Model"]Who taught you to start sentences with ''but''?  Journos getaway with ''and'' but ''but'' is just plain wrong.
[/quote]

 

There is nothing wrong at all with starting sentences with "And" or "But". The King James Bible ("And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven..."  "But he that doeth truth cometh to the light...") does it frequently. What matters is that the prose is easy to read and to understand.

 

 

[Bill 1,788]

Nobody used to get paid to play football. But then some did. And so it came to pass they became prose.

[William Darby 0]

[quote user="PurpleCanary"]

[quote user="The Pink un Role Model"]Who taught you to start sentences with ''but''?  Journos getaway with ''and'' but ''but'' is just plain wrong.[/quote]

 

There is nothing wrong at all with starting sentences with "And" or "But". The King James Bible ("And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven..."  "But he that doeth truth cometh to the light...") does it frequently. What matters is that the prose is easy to read and to understand.

 

 

[/quote]Well  there you go, it may be fashionable again, but I doubt you''ll struggle to find a small professional piece of journalism that''s squeezed in three sentences beginning with ''but'' anywhere else. Okay I''m probably wrong in saying that use of conjunction is wrong, but I''d still say avoid the habit of repetitive use, and try using ''however'' or rewriting the sentence.

[lappinitup 629]

[quote user="PurpleCanary"]

[quote user="The Pink un Role Model"]Who taught you to start sentences with ''but''?  Journos getaway with ''and'' but ''but'' is just plain wrong.[/quote]

There is nothing wrong at all with starting sentences with "And" or "But". The King James Bible ("And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven..."  "But he that doeth truth cometh to the light...") does it frequently. What matters is that the prose is easy to read and to understand.[/quote]

And here endeth the first lesson. [+o(]

[R Mellie 0]

[quote user="City1st"]Nobody used to get paid to play football. But then some did. And so it came to pass they became prose.


[/quote]

 

In the beginning, A seven to one reverse was the catalyst.  And it was so.  Depressing. 

 

And then the Grand High Order of the Board saw fit to appoint a potential omnipotent.  And lo, it was so.  Lo.

 

And then in the second beginning, Lambo created the Team.  Darkness was still upon the face of The Fans.  But the spirit of Lambo moved to persuade the few detractors who wondered if Lambo could fill the void.  Have faith said some. 

 

And Lambo worked with what he had, and he had some proper awesome gems. Though perhaps not as many as he would have liked.  But a lowly tyyre fitter called Holt caught Lambo''s eye, and with some heavenly intervention, and a strict training and nutritional regime, the lowly tyre fitter was immortalised into Lambo''s first XII. And didn''t he start banging them away.  And it was so.

 

And then Lambo said, let there be firmament in the midfield, and let it divide the opposition defence.  And it was so.  And Lambo said "Lets call this The Diamond.  Natch."  And it was so. 

 

And The Diamond, and other formations oft used, brought forth great bountiful results.  And it was so.  Lambo surveyed the lands for Team Players who would walk through walls.  And found them.  And The Fans thought this was ace. 

 

Especially the smiting of their neighbours.  More than once.  In humiliating fashion.  And The Fans will talk of this smiting for years and years and years...and more years after that.  And it was so.

 

And Lambo said, "Let me make my Team in my image, and let it dominate all those that oppose it".  And it was so.  With Lambo remarking more than once, "What a fantastic results his Team had brought forth for him.

 

The Fans and Lambo saw the light, that it was good.  And Lambo called the light, "In the three years I''ve been here, it''s been fantastic".  And Lambo called the Darkness "The time before I got here" 

 

And The Team continued to bring forth excellent results, and Lambo saw that this too, was good.

 

And Lambo and The Fans saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.  Very good indeed.  Especially the smiting of The Fans heathen neighbours.  That wil aways be special.

 

All hail Lambo!!

 

[Bill 1,788]

And on the sixth day did Lambo Vindaloo restfor he was much wearied