Can anyone tell me where the money is....

[Thecanaryfan 0]

[quote user="Badger"]

you don''t look at all the other costs (other than wages) that go with these deals + the dealings where we lose money + the academy etc.

Once again, if you only look at the transfer fees of players you miss a lot of the costs of the squad.

[/quote]

When have we ever lost money? LOL. The board would never allow it! And dont tell me that all the contracts Roeder cancelled cost the club money. And as for the Academy? Are you talking about the Academy that has generated huge sums of money for the board. The names Bellamy, Green and Lewis spring to mind.

What are you going to come up with next? The gas bills? Something has power the ovens to cook Delias delicious pies? Or how about the electricity bills to power the bloody floodlights?

I cant provide an exact breakdown of accounts because I am not privvy to that info. Though I am privvy to a brain that can do sums. And the board have not been investing an acceptable amount of money in the team given the revenue they have recieved in recent years.

[BobbyLo 0]

[quote user="kevin brighton"]

The fact is this thread started off with the normal accusation or suggestion that Delia and Co have somehow swindled the fans and taken money from the sales of players.

Where is the evidence? Just because we have not splashed millions on players that does not mean they have taken the money until someone has the evidence to back up the accusations this sniping at the board is pointless and only proves that many lack the brain cells to comprehend the cost of running the club. 

[/quote]I started this thread and didn''t accuse anyone of taking money. I would never do that as I''m not entirely privy to the clubs accounts. I love the club and if you bother to read my first post, I stated that I''m remaining positive. I just think the fans who spend their hard earned money week in and week out, some travelling miles to watch Norwich play, deserve to watch good football. I think we''ve made a good start to the season and have outclassed some teams without getting a result. But, even if we lose I would still be upbeat if we''d created chances etc. At least shown some passion and enthusiasm. Buying multi million pound players certainly doesn''t guarantee that. It''s just weird to see players go out for decent money and then kind of refusing to fill the gaps. Apart from the gap which was behind the away fans, where a hotel now resides!!

[blahblahblah 2]

[quote]It''s just weird to see players go out for decent money and then kind of refusing to fill the gaps. Apart from the gap which was behind the away fans, where a hotel now resides!![/quote]

My understanding of the hotel is that the club didn''t pay to have it built.  They came to an agreement with Holiday Inn so that the clubs land was used in exchange for part of the business.  Now that I''ve written this someone will be along in a minute to tell us what actually happened.

[First Wazzock 904]

[quote user="blahblahblah"]

I earnt a tenner last week, did a favour for a mate.  The I went to the shops. 

Let''s see, potatoes, 3 pounds of those, can''t remember how much they are, say 70 p a pound.  So that''s about 3 quid give or take.

Then I got 6 cans of coke.  Usually they''re about 50p, but once I bought one from a service station that was £1.20.  So let''s call that 7 quid.

WHERE HAS ALL MY MONEY GONE ?!?!?!?!?!

And why do I still have change ?

[/quote]

Did this come form this years O level maths Blah ?

[Mr.Carrow 378]

[quote user="blahblahblah"]

Ah, Mr. C.  glad you''re here, as I have a quick couple of minutes between tea-breaks and I wanted to ask you a question.

Can you outline which spending has been made by the club that in your opinion should have been diverted instead to player funds, and could you express the amount of spending as a percentage of annual turnover ?

[/quote]

You must be joking, right?  How many times have i posted figures on here only for the thread to die and the same people say the same misleading stuff a few days later?  Now here`s an idea, why don`t you get hold of the accounts (i`m sure the club could help you out) and educate yourself?

Badger states that most of the Prem/transfer money has been spent on player wages, i prove him wrong with hard facts yet no reply and i know he`ll be posting the same thing next week.  Beausant basically dismisses my arguments with a "there`s no such thing as absolute truth" yet gives a cop-out reply when i ask him if, to be consistant, he applies that logic to accusations that the board are lining their own pockets from the clubs coffers.  There are a group of posters who see "truth" were they want to see it and ignore the rest.

So you can take that as a no.....[:P]

[blahblahblah 2]

[quote user="Mr.Carrow"][quote user="blahblahblah"]

Ah, Mr. C.  glad you''re here, as I have a quick couple of minutes between tea-breaks and I wanted to ask you a question.

Can you outline which spending has been made by the club that in your opinion should have been diverted instead to player funds, and could you express the amount of spending as a percentage of annual turnover ?

[/quote]

You must be joking, right?  How many times have i posted figures on here only for the thread to die and the same people say the same misleading stuff a few days later?  Now here`s an idea, why don`t you get hold of the accounts (i`m sure the club could help you out) and educate yourself?

Badger states that most of the Prem/transfer money has been spent on player wages, i prove him wrong with hard facts yet no reply and i know he`ll be posting the same thing next week.  Beausant basically dismisses my arguments with a "there`s no such thing as absolute truth" yet gives a cop-out reply when i ask him if, to be consistant, he applies that logic to accusations that the board are lining their own pockets from the clubs coffers.  There are a group of posters who see "truth" were they want to see it and ignore the rest.

So you can take that as a no.....[:P]

[/quote]

In my opinion (and it is only that), if you want to convince people of your position, you need to put the problem as you see it within the context of the overall business.  You, and others like you, regularly hark back to the big cash that comes through the door, 15 million in parachute payments, 12 million gained in player trading over 5 years, and you allude to the spending that you consider not to be worthwhile.  But the spending is never put into the context of the turnover of the business as a whole, or indeed the cost against benefit to the club.  I think that if you could say to people, here''s x million or so a year, that''s y % of spending that should go on playing staff and it isn''t, and this money being spent doesn''t seem to be achieving anything, then people might listen.  I''d crack on with it if I were you, if you want to get people wound up about the travesties of off-pitch spending you haven''t got long - the AGM is in October, and the chances are we won''t be bottom of the league by 4 clear points this season [:)]

[Badger 0]

[quote user="thecanaryfan"]

[quote user="Badger"]

you don''t look at all the other costs (other than wages) that go with these deals + the dealings where we lose money + the academy etc.

Once again, if you only look at the transfer fees of players you miss a lot of the costs of the squad.

[/quote]

When have we ever lost money? LOL. The board would never allow it! And dont tell me that all the (1) contracts Roeder cancelled cost the club money. And as for the (2)Academy? Are you talking about the Academy that has generated huge sums of money for the board. The names Bellamy, Green and Lewis spring to mind.

What are you going to come up with next? The gas bills? Something has power the ovens to cook Delias delicious pies? Or how about the electricity bills to power the bloody floodlights?

I cant provide an exact breakdown of (3)accounts because I am not privvy to that info. Though I am privvy to a brain that can do sums. And the board have not been investing an acceptable amount of money in the team given the revenue they have recieved in recent years.

[/quote]

(1) Do you think that cancelling contracts is done for nothing? Normally they come to a financial agreement or pay them off.

(2) You have already included the revenue from Green, Lewis in your calculations but YOU HAVE NOT INCLUDED THE COSTS.

(3) I don''t doubt that you can do sums but there is no point if you don''t put the right figures into the sum. You consistently ignore or underestimate costs.

(4) Again - where did you get the figure of £1 million that you keep quoting.

[Beauseant 0]

[quote user="Mr.Carrow"][quote user="blahblahblah"]

Ah, Mr. C.  glad you''re here, as I have a quick couple of minutes between tea-breaks and I wanted to ask you a question.

Can you outline which spending has been made by the club that in your opinion should have been diverted instead to player funds, and could you express the amount of spending as a percentage of annual turnover ?

[/quote]

You must be joking, right?  How many times have i posted figures on here only for the thread to die and the same people say the same misleading stuff a few days later?  Now here`s an idea, why don`t you get hold of the accounts (i`m sure the club could help you out) and educate yourself?

Badger states that most of the Prem/transfer money has been spent on player wages, i prove him wrong with hard facts yet no reply and i know he`ll be posting the same thing next week.  Beausant basically dismisses my arguments with a "there`s no such thing as absolute truth" yet gives a cop-out reply when i ask him if, to be consistant, he applies that logic to accusations that the board are lining their own pockets from the clubs coffers.  There are a group of posters who see "truth" were they want to see it and ignore the rest.

So you can take that as a no.....[:P]

[/quote]

 

Ain''t that the truth! Pot,kettle,black.

[Badger 0]

[quote user="Mr.Carrow"]

Badger states that most of the Prem/transfer money has been spent on player wages, i prove him wrong with hard facts yet no reply and i know he`ll be posting the same thing next week.  Beausant basically dismisses my arguments with a "there`s no such thing as absolute truth" yet gives a cop-out reply when i ask him if, to be consistant, he applies that logic to accusations that the board are lining their own pockets from the clubs coffers.  There are a group of posters who see "truth" were they want to see it and ignore the rest.

So you can take that as a no.....[:P]

[/quote]

1. No you didn''t - you gave a misleading figure of players wages as a proportion of total turnover - the parachute payments about which my point was made were about £7 million pa. The argument was started by someone claiming that we should have had loads of money for transfers becuase of the parachute money + player sales - it really is much more complicated than that!

2. Your "facts" are highly selective and ignore the broader picture. You are a good example of your final point  ("There are a group of posters who see "truth" were they want to see it and ignore the rest.")

3. It is strange that you never challenge some of the clearly nonsensical statements made by some of co-travellers - e.g. Delia is pocketing all the money.

4. Why don''t you answer Blah''s question instead of hiding behind excuses?

[BigFish 1,988]

The club loses money all the time - about £2m a year in this division when you strip out exceptional items.I guess this answers the question, then?

[Thecanaryfan 0]

[quote user="Badger"]

[quote user="thecanaryfan"]

[quote user="Badger"]

you don''t look at all the other costs (other than wages) that go with these deals + the dealings where we lose money + the academy etc.

Once again, if you only look at the transfer fees of players you miss a lot of the costs of the squad.

[/quote]

When have we ever lost money? LOL. The board would never allow it! And dont tell me that all the (1) contracts Roeder cancelled cost the club money. And as for the (2)Academy? Are you talking about the Academy that has generated huge sums of money for the board. The names Bellamy, Green and Lewis spring to mind.

What are you going to come up with next? The gas bills? Something has power the ovens to cook Delias delicious pies? Or how about the electricity bills to power the bloody floodlights?

I cant provide an exact breakdown of (3)accounts because I am not privvy to that info. Though I am privvy to a brain that can do sums. And the board have not been investing an acceptable amount of money in the team given the revenue they have recieved in recent years.

[/quote]

(1) Do you think that cancelling contracts is done for nothing? Normally they come to a financial agreement or pay them off.

(2) You have already included the revenue from Green, Lewis in your calculations but YOU HAVE NOT INCLUDED THE COSTS.

(3) I don''t doubt that you can do sums but there is no point if you don''t put the right figures into the sum. You consistently ignore or underestimate costs.

(4) Again - where did you get the figure of £1 million that you keep quoting.

[/quote]

This is getting beyond a joke Badger. Let me just ask you one question. In your honest opinion and taking into account all revenue over the last 5 years, have the board invested adequate money into Roeders team rebuilding effort? Yes or no please.

4) To be honest, I made a miscalculation. I failed to include the signing of Pattison in my origional estimate of £1m. The club have spent the following on transfers since Roeders arrival:

1. Hoolahan. £200k + Gilks (who cost the club nothing)

2. Bell. Undisclosed but rumoured to be around the £250k mark.

3. Stefanovic. Undisclosed but rumoured to be around the £600k mark.

4. Pattison. £500k

The rest of the new arrivals were either free transfers or loans. Pathetic spending given the condition the squad was in.

[Mello Yello 2,298]

[quote user="ellis206"]Says the guy with nearly 4000 posts.......
[/quote]

Yup! Hen hevery wun a fuggin'' gem!

[Mello Yello 2,298]

[quote user="Beauseant"][quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="blahblahblah"][quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="StokeCanary"][quote user="blahblahblah"]

[quote user="no. 6"]Give me a source and I''ll happily retract [/quote]

It''s not formatted very well, but its a source copied from a Delloitte graphic which was in the papers for 2006/07, showing the average Championship wages / turnover ratio at your 79 %, and Norwichs'' ratio at 60 %, which I believe was our combined wages ratio for the period.

http://qprreport.blogspot.com/2008/06/deloittes-report-on-clubs-wagesturnover.html

On further googling, here is the graphic that I assume they took their figures from.

http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-files/Football/documents/2008/05/29/deloitte.pdf

The ratio doesn''t tell you much because it compares clubs like Norwich, who don''t contract out, with clubs that do.  Agents fees are also included in the ratio according to a link on an Everton forum I was looking at but now can''t find, which clouds the waters further.

[/quote]

 

Do you work blahblahblah?!! [:P]

[/quote]

Him and his comrades are at work.......in the media office at Buttress Carra Rud...."Prudence with Perdition!"......"Onwards with Ovens!"......"Let''s be ''avin Lasagne!"......

[/quote]

 

Or possibly I took 30 seconds to type "delloitte review wages 2006/07" into google...

[/quote]

But you''ve spent the majority of the day on this forum, (not just half a mo'').......I''ve been to work all day (hoorah for me) I also have access to t''internet at work.....but, I certainly don''t deem it necessary and essential - to come on this forum....It''ll be like watching TV all day! 

Sad.  

[/quote]

 

This roughly translates as:

"You bastard,you''ve stuck consistently to a logical argument backed by relevant facts and figures and have refused to be swayed by people like me who don''t like your views. Please don''t post because it makes me feel uncomfortable and start to get queasy feelings that I don''t have exclusive access to the moral high ground"

[/quote]

Damn!......Rumbled!......

Burger me! Not only are you a ''ruthless retired ridgeon fussball manager'' but a pseudo-psychiatrist! Is there no end to your endless endlessness?

I also applaud your profound ability to type with your toes, whilst your gargantuan head and upper torso - are rammed up ''Comrade and protege in Arms'' Sir Boring Blahahah''s backside! Good skills!......Breakfast must be on its way now, so hold your breath!

There, see! It''s so easy to type bollox.....Do you have a job?

[Mello Yello 2,298]

[quote user="blahblahblah"][quote user="Beauseant"][quote user="blahblahblah"][quote user="Mello Yello"]

But you''ve spent the majority of the day on this forum, (not just half a mo'').......I''ve been to work all day (hoorah for me) I also have access to t''internet at work.....but, I certainly don''t deem it necessary and essential - to come on this forum....It''ll be like watching TV all day! 

Sad.  

[/quote]

Sorry boss.  Or alternatively - wot Beausant sed.

[/quote]

 

Blah! Get back to work NOW!

[/quote]

 

Yes bosses'' boss.  Sorry bosses'' boss.

[/quote]

Now, type in Delia-lite.....That''s you that is, and your butt-kiss boardist chummys!

[blahblahblah 2]

[quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="blahblahblah"][quote user="Beauseant"][quote user="blahblahblah"][quote user="Mello Yello"]

But you''ve spent the majority of the day on this forum, (not just half a mo'').......I''ve been to work all day (hoorah for me) I also have access to t''internet at work.....but, I certainly don''t deem it necessary and essential - to come on this forum....It''ll be like watching TV all day! 

Sad.  

[/quote]

Sorry boss.  Or alternatively - wot Beausant sed.

[/quote]

 

Blah! Get back to work NOW!

[/quote]

 

Yes bosses'' boss.  Sorry bosses'' boss.

[/quote]

Now, type in Delia-lite.....That''s you that is, and your butt-kiss boardist chummys!

[/quote]

Mello !  Get back to work !

[Ian 1,136]

[quote user="Mello Yello"]

There, see! It''s so easy to type bollox.....

[/quote]Hardly surprising you find that "skill" so easy with the unparalleled amount of practice you''ve had, eh Mello?

[Mello Yello 2,298]

[quote user="blahblahblah"]

[quote]It''s just weird to see players go out for decent money and then kind of refusing to fill the gaps. Apart from the gap which was behind the away fans, where a hotel now resides!![/quote]

My understanding of the hotel is that the club didn''t pay to have it built.  They came to an agreement with Holiday Inn so that the clubs land was used in exchange for part of the business.  Now that I''ve written this someone will be along in a minute to tell us what actually happened.

[/quote]

Yeah, and hopefully, someone might know what funded that extension to the rear of the Barclay that went up quicker than a midget devouring a dozen viagra? Not long after Bellers boogered off.......Anyone?

[Mello Yello 2,298]

[quote user="I. Shurmer"][quote user="Mello Yello"]

There, see! It''s so easy to type bollox.....

[/quote]

Hardly surprising you find that "skill" so easy with the unparalleled amount of practice you''ve had, eh Mello?

[/quote]

What''s this? Shift-change? When''s your next stint up Blah''s botty then?

[Mello Yello 2,298]

[quote user="blahblahblah"][quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="blahblahblah"][quote user="Beauseant"][quote user="blahblahblah"][quote user="Mello Yello"]

But you''ve spent the majority of the day on this forum, (not just half a mo'').......I''ve been to work all day (hoorah for me) I also have access to t''internet at work.....but, I certainly don''t deem it necessary and essential - to come on this forum....It''ll be like watching TV all day! 

Sad.  

[/quote]

Sorry boss.  Or alternatively - wot Beausant sed.

[/quote]

 

Blah! Get back to work NOW!

[/quote]

 

Yes bosses'' boss.  Sorry bosses'' boss.

[/quote]

Now, type in Delia-lite.....That''s you that is, and your butt-kiss boardist chummys!

[/quote]

Mello !  Get back to work !

[/quote]

Half-day. Put my hours in.

[Beauseant 0]

[quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="I. Shurmer"][quote user="Mello Yello"]

There, see! It''s so easy to type bollox.....

[/quote]

Hardly surprising you find that "skill" so easy with the unparalleled amount of practice you''ve had, eh Mello?

[/quote]

What''s this? Shift-change? When''s your next stint up Blah''s botty then?

[/quote]

 

I love you Mello,you never fail to make me laugh.Have you ever considered buffoon as a full time profession?It seems a shame not to cash in on such an unforced natural talent.

[Mello Yello 2,298]

[quote user="blahblahblah"]

Ah, Mr. C.  glad you''re here, as I have a quick couple of minutes between tea-breaks and I wanted to ask you a question.

Can you outline which spending has been made by the club that in your opinion should have been diverted instead to player funds, and could you express the amount of spending as a percentage of annual turnover ?

[/quote]

Will that be your 7 hours 45 minutes tea-break......and 15 minute work-break?

[blahblahblah 2]

[quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="blahblahblah"]

Ah, Mr. C.  glad you''re here, as I have a quick couple of minutes between tea-breaks and I wanted to ask you a question.

Can you outline which spending has been made by the club that in your opinion should have been diverted instead to player funds, and could you express the amount of spending as a percentage of annual turnover ?

[/quote]

Will that be your 7 hours 45 minutes tea-break......and 15 minute work-break?

[/quote]

I''m starting to understand why your prescence is only required for half a day.  You must be such an unprecedented joy to work with.  If you can work smart, why work hard ?

[Mello Yello 2,298]

[quote user="Beauseant"][quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="I. Shurmer"][quote user="Mello Yello"]

There, see! It''s so easy to type bollox.....

[/quote]

Hardly surprising you find that "skill" so easy with the unparalleled amount of practice you''ve had, eh Mello?

[/quote]

What''s this? Shift-change? When''s your next stint up Blah''s botty then?

[/quote]

 

I love you Mello,you never fail to make me laugh.Have you ever considered buffoon as a full time profession?It seems a shame not to cash in on such an unforced natural talent.

[/quote]

I love me also. But, I do think many on here take themselves a little too seriously...... Anyway, ''Buffoon''s'' a kind of big hair thing, isn''t it? Y''know, like a beehive?.....Y''see, I''m not that dense!

[blahblahblah 2]

[quote]I love me also. But, I do think many on here take themselves a little too seriously...... Anyway, ''Buffoon''s'' a kind of big hair thing, isn''t it? Y''know, like a beehive?.....Y''see, I''m not that dense![/quote]

Nobody is as dense as you pretend to be Mello.  I note that you only call me boring, I can live with boring if I''m not wrong.

[Mello Yello 2,298]

[quote user="blahblahblah"][quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="blahblahblah"]

Ah, Mr. C.  glad you''re here, as I have a quick couple of minutes between tea-breaks and I wanted to ask you a question.

Can you outline which spending has been made by the club that in your opinion should have been diverted instead to player funds, and could you express the amount of spending as a percentage of annual turnover ?

[/quote]

Will that be your 7 hours 45 minutes tea-break......and 15 minute work-break?

[/quote]

I''m starting to understand why your prescence is only required for half a day.  You must be such an unprecedented joy to work with.  If you can work smart, why work hard ?

[/quote]

Yup, keep ''em entertained, while dull and inane folk like you - bore the titties off the rest of the forum......With your anorak facts, parka predictions, windcheater waffle, dour dufflecoat drudge, smock $hi*e, gabardine garbage, crombie cack...... I''m gonna jacket in now.....I''m bored.

Oh, and it''s ''presence''......In your urgency and frustrating anger in the need to retort to my infantile rantings......You did a bad spellun''!

I hope you''re not a retired reporter or football writer?

[Mello Yello 2,298]

[quote user="blahblahblah"]

[quote]I love me also. But, I do think many on here take themselves a little too seriously...... Anyway, ''Buffoon''s'' a kind of big hair thing, isn''t it? Y''know, like a beehive?.....Y''see, I''m not that dense![/quote]

Nobody is as dense as you pretend to be Mello.  I note that you only call me boring, I can live with boring if I''m not wrong.

[/quote]

I''m trying to be polite......and it hurts!....And, you are just a little bit tiresome.....and boring.

[Ian 1,136]

[quote user="Mello Yello"]

Yup,

keep ''em entertained, while dull and inane folk like you - bore the

titties off the rest of the forum......With your anorak facts, parka

predictions, windcheater waffle, dour dufflecoat drudge, smock $hi*e,

gabardine garbage, crombie cack...... I''m gonna jacket in now.....I''m

bored.

Oh, and it''s ''presence''......In your urgency and frustrating anger

in the need to retort to my infantile rantings......You did a bad

spellun''!

I hope you''re not a retired reporter or football writer?

[/quote]

I went to the trouble of copying that paragraph into Google Translator for you blah. The default "Mello to English" settings gave me this:

"As you have presented a factual argument that I don''t have the ability

and/or evidence to counter, I am going to pull my usual trick of going

off on a long and verbose tirade of nonsense, whilst slipping a few

insults in there for good measure.

Hopefully this will deflect attention away from me having to actually answer any questions, or back up my arguments. If not, I''ll just summarise the argument as boring/tiresome and refuse to talk anymore."Isn''t this modern technology wonderful?

[blahblahblah 2]

[quote]Oh, and it''s ''presence''......In your urgency and frustrating anger in the need to retort to my infantile rantings......You did a bad spellun''![/quote]

Always willing to see the best in people eh Mello - turns out I just can''t spell.

[Mello Yello 2,298]

[quote user="I. Shurmer"][quote user="Mello Yello"]

Yup, keep ''em entertained, while dull and inane folk like you - bore the titties off the rest of the forum......With your anorak facts, parka predictions, windcheater waffle, dour dufflecoat drudge, smock $hi*e, gabardine garbage, crombie cack...... I''m gonna jacket in now.....I''m bored.

Oh, and it''s ''presence''......In your urgency and frustrating anger in the need to retort to my infantile rantings......You did a bad spellun''!

I hope you''re not a retired reporter or football writer?

[/quote]

I went to the trouble of copying that paragraph into Google Translator for you blah. The default "Mello to English" settings gave me this:

"As you have presented a factual argument that I don''t have the ability and/or evidence to counter, I am going to pull my usual trick of going off on a long and verbose tirade of nonsense, whilst slipping a few insults in there for good measure.

Hopefully this will deflect attention away from me having to actually answer any questions, or back up my arguments. If not, I''ll just summarise the argument as boring/tiresome and refuse to talk anymore."

Isn''t this modern technology wonderful?
[/quote]

Another pseudo ''trick-cyclist''.....bugger!

Don''t you like me then?[:(]

 

[blahblahblah 2]

I thoroughly concur Shurmer.  Surely the only argument to this is the tired old...

"Well, if I''m so borin'' wiv'' me 100% teroo factoids, an'' guardian stats an fluff, stood ''ere wiv me inch-fick ''orn-rimmed glasses an'' me copyright 1972 green anorak an'' Geography teecha corderoy trahsers on, why are even deigning to reply, me'' terooly inner-restin chum ?  An'' by the way, isunn it abaht thai-yeeme yoo disapeered back up Mr. Carrahs back-passage, seein'' as we''re all pickin'' sides an'' bein'' all playgrahnd and inner-restin'' an funny like ? Oh, an'' ya can''t spell spellun''."