Daniel Brigham 0 Posted January 31, 2014 With the atmosphere around Carrow Road bubbling with discontent, Daniel Brigham searches for the positivesAn unwise man or woman once said, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don''t say anything at all”. It''s right up there with “two heads are better than one''” as one of the great pointless sayings. Nothing nice to say about bankers? Best keep quiet. Struggling to say something nice about those Typhoo adverts starring Ben Fogle? Stay schtum. And, for the record, anyone who''s watched Jamie Carragher butt in on Gary Neville on Sky Sports this year will realise that, actually, one head is often better than two. However, with the Wes Hoolahan saga only increasing the levels of negativity around Carrow Road – including in this column – perhaps it''s time to think of something nice to say about Norwich. After all, such relentless negativity, however warranted, can get a bit tiring, and tiresome. So let''s give positivity a go. Let''s head into the footballing woods and hug a massive tree. Let''s ring up Canary Call and tell Rob Butler his beard is really nice and that yellow is a lovely colour for a football kit. After all, it''s only football. It certainly doesn’t matter more than life and death (another ridiculous saying, Bill). It''s just a silly game. Norwich are 12th, five points above the relegation places in the one of the toughest, most entertaining leagues in the world. There are some very big clubs, from Leeds to Blackburn and many in between, who are currently very envious of our position. Every weekend we have the privilege of watching our team scramble for points against Hull or Crystal Palace and being obliterated by Arsenal, Manchester City or Chelsea, which is a whole lot better than scrapping for points against Tranmere and being destroyed by Colchester. So how are we the 12th best side in England? Well, it''s not because of the goals we''re scoring. Norwich have found the net only 18 times this season. That''s not good enough. But we should at least be thankful that we''ve scored some goals. Derby County managed a record-low 20 in the entire 2007-08 season. They averaged a goal every 171 minutes, exactly the same time it takes to get a train from Norwich to Luton, allowing you to experiencing the same levels of frustration, hopelessness and self-loathing that the Derby fans must have felt. These things can turn around though. While Manchester City fans have to wait only 30 minutes on average to celebrate a goal this season, in 2006-07 they scored just 10 (ten) at home. They managed to avoid the drop by keeping things tight and this is how Norwich, despite perceptions, are currently staying afloat. Of the 35 goals we’ve conceded this season, 19 have come in four matches. Who were those games against? The current top four, who between them have scored 213 times this season. So only the four best sides in England have put more than two past us in the league while against the rest of the division we’ve let in 16 goals in 19 games – with eight clean sheets. That’s not just positive, that’s bordering on defensive tight-arsery of immense proportions. Our back four may at times look as secure as Alan Brazil on a tightrope but unless we''re facing the likes of Suarez, Ageuro, Ozil and Hazard the stats, at least, show we are expert Scrooges. In a world where Tony Pulis is receiving praise for successfully turning Selhurt Park into the Land That Goals Forgot, then perhaps we should go easier on Chris Hughton. He might not know how to get Norwich attacking but he sure as hell knows how to rigidly arrange his defenders. If ever you got him to organise a party there might not be any sex, drugs and rock and roll but you can bet your life on there being some quality nibbles and a pleasant MOR soundtrack. And sometimes that''s enough. There are other reasons to say nice things. We''ve got a herd of young exciting players who can only get better. This even includes Ryan Bennett who, despite having a troubling tendency to back off like a toddler getting yapped at by a sausage dog, has enough nous and ability to become a Premier League regular. Throw in Leroy Fer, Nathan Redmond, Anthony Pilkington, Ricky van Wolfswinkel and the Murphy twins and we have a team of youthful potential. Off the pitch we’re also healthy. You only have to take a look at Portsmouth sitting just six points above the relegation zone in League Two – 77 places below their great rivals Southampton – to realise that throwing money at chasing glory can end rather badly. Could you imagine if Ipswich were that many places above us? Could you imagine the Pink’Un messageboard? It would have exploded with hate and misery, covering Norwich in a toxic, pink sludge survivable only by cockroaches and Delia Smith. Perhaps things aren''t so bad, then. We’re 12th in the Premier League, we get to watch the best teams in the country every week, we have potential to improve. So Hughton is preventing Norwich from fulfilling their enormous attacking promise, so I think he should be replaced, so the games might not be a whole lot of fun at the moment, but sometimes it''s nice to remember the positives – and there are many of them. It could be a lot worse. A lot worse. After all, we could be forced to sit through 90 minutes of those Typhoo adverts with that buckwheat salad of a presenter, Ben Fogle. Now they really are f*cking sh*thouse. Daniel Brigham is features editor of The Cricketer magazine.You can follow him on Twitter: @cricketer_dan Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GenerationA47 752 Posted January 31, 2014 OK that did cheer me up a bit, if only thanks to the funnies (and what''s wrong with that). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jim Smith 2,317 Posted January 31, 2014 Thanks for that Daniel - a good read. Particularly enjoyed:"If ever you got him to organise a party there might not be any sex, drugs and rock and roll but you can bet your life on there being some quality nibbles and a pleasant MOR soundtrack. And sometimes that''s enough."Triffic! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Big Bad Wolf 0 Posted January 31, 2014 Agreed we do have youthful potential...but this is being stifled by a clueless manager and his associates. There are a lot of good things in place, but one major stumbling block. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tetteys Jig 830 Posted January 31, 2014 I''m more frustrated than upset or disheartened. We could be so much better if we had that one guy to link the midfield and attack! Even more galling, is that he''s either injured (howson), unsettled (wes) or a £6m fee away (siggy or a.n.other).Hughtons blindness to not see that we need this player is staggering. Perhaps we would be allowed to nick Nick Powell (no pun intended) from Wigan? He has potential to be that guy.I do have to say though, that the defence looks solid at the moment, Bassong is better than he was at the start of the season and Ruddy is back to his best. Enjoyed Bennett this month too.Please oh please Chris, you''re a great guy and have done a good job in keeping us afloat after Lambert but don''t ruin your good work Roeder style, get that CAM/ CF in! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Daniel Brigham 0 Posted January 31, 2014 Thanks for the compliments. I think Hughton is wasting our best attacking side since the early 1990s - and I''ve spent way too long moaning about that - but sometimes it''s good to remind myself we''re 12th in the Premier League. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
canarybubbles 1,915 Posted January 31, 2014 If CH held a party he would get out his old Monopoly set and make everyone play. And perhaps, if he felt especially daring, his Twister board. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bury Yellow 2 Posted January 31, 2014 Another good blog Daniel thanks. The positives about our players are immediately offset by a manager and first team coaches who reduced our superb squad on Tuesday night into the look of a pub team.The only flare we are ever going to see at The Carra is a warning of abandon ship.Be lucky! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Daniel Brigham 0 Posted January 31, 2014 Thanks Bury. All the positives will be lost in the noise of Wes leaving if we let him go and don''t get an adequate replacement in ... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Warren Hill 0 Posted January 31, 2014 Just a load of cheap shots at the manager. Will keep plenty on here amused, would probably raise a titter on TWTD too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Daniel Brigham 0 Posted January 31, 2014 Just the one cheap shot, Warren. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites