PLEASE DONT KILL YOURSELVES

[The Raptor 1,231]

This week has been the anniversary of a friend taking his own life. I've also sadly heard another friend has done the same thing. Added to that a few other people I knew in the last 10 years or so.

It's so sad. I know life is **** alot of the time but PLEASE just talk to someone if you feel that way. Perhaps random to post on here and also I'm not always great with words but I'm not going to apologise for that. Just don't do it. The world would be better with Aaron, Karl, Carl, lee and  Richard in it despite what they may have thought...

[sonyc 5,541]

21 hours ago, The Raptor said:

This week has been the anniversary of a friend taking his own life. I've also sadly heard another friend has done the same thing. Added to that a few other people I knew in the last 10 years or so.

It's so sad. I know life is **** alot of the time but PLEASE just talk to someone if you feel that way. Perhaps random to post on here and also I'm not always great with words but I'm not going to apologise for that. Just don't do it. The world would be better with Aaron, Karl, Carl, lee and  Richard in it despite what they may have thought...

You've posted about a very serious and profound subject TR.

I took lost a dear friend 9 years ago...I'm serious when I say that I reckon he was the nicest and best bloke in the whole of the Leeds area. I doubt there was one person who thought differently too. Someone who took interest in others and someone I could never be like because he had all the charm and humanity. But, he was unsettled beneath and his passing will be felt for all the rest of the lives for his two daughters.

It's why I harp on (a lot) and have done over the years, about being kind to people. You don't know what is going on.

In terms of this forum, there's no point in getting upset about any views expressed by others. Views are nothing, not real in any physical sense. A view doesn't endure.  But... it's our judgement about them that can upset us. When I remind myself of that when I need to, I realise the answer is there.

Unfortunately some folk can worry forever and the issue becomes a big trouble for them. Our local farmer (getting on now) spent a good quarter of an hour just outlining his life and worries the other day...I've never spoken to him before. It was obviously playing heavily in his mind and I was just on my dog walk.

Is it unmanly to wish people were kind? Or to call for it?  I think it's the opposite actually, because you're taking on responsibility and a risk. You're showing some balls.

People like to label others so they can feel okay in themselves I sometimes assume. I could be wrong. They appear to take on a tribal position and then find an enemy in anyone who thinks differently. That's what I've learned from this forum (20 years in April I will have been a poster). If ever there have been arguments too and I've tried to intervene because I love seeing harmony between people, even those who feel very differently about the world, I've always failed. Yet, I never think of giving up on doing that despite my obvious lack of influence.

Anyway, just some thoughts your post has given me and I really appreciate a poster bothering to do it. I see by the reactions also that I'm not alone. Thanks.

Edited March 22 by sonyc

[dylanisabaddog 4,972]

It's a significant problem and it was good of you to post about it. 

Norwich City made a video about mental health issues a while ago which should probably be promoted on a regular basis. It was very moving. 

[cambridgeshire canary 6,788]

A very serious issue that is sadly little talked about. Think this chart sums up just how big of an issue it is and while yes it's outdated I don't think it's any different and if anything sadly I do feel it's probably worse.

Edited March 22 by cambridgeshire canary

[littleyellowbirdie 2,586]

On 21/03/2024 at 14:01, The Raptor said:

This week has been the anniversary of a friend taking his own life. I've also sadly heard another friend has done the same thing. Added to that a few other people I knew in the last 10 years or so.

It's so sad. I know life is **** alot of the time but PLEASE just talk to someone if you feel that way. Perhaps random to post on here and also I'm not always great with words but I'm not going to apologise for that. Just don't do it. The world would be better with Aaron, Karl, Carl, lee and  Richard in it despite what they may have thought...

Lovely thought.

[GodlyOtsemobor 2,375]

Just see this post. And I must admit it hit home a little. It's a such a **** 4 year period and it made me think of the amount of times I've sat and thought I can't do this anymore. 

It doesn't take alot. One thing can make everything snowball. But especially when you feel like everything is stacked against you that's when it really can grab hold of you, and I'm not ashamed to say were it not for my missus who is a ***íñg saint, I probably wouldn't have it in me keep going. 

Especially with the accumulated shítstórmé that my life has thrown at me. 

Starting in 2020 

My grandad who was more my dad than anything pass away, 

A year later I had the cancer and treatment and double surgery and complications. And also being told at the same time I can't have kids. 

Having to find somewhere new to live during that time because our landlord sold up without telling us. 

Then an instant hernia on return to work that the hospital have said they won't touch because of my previous complications from previous surgery so I have to live with it forever. 

Then an eye test that showed up something behind my left eye that I've had to go to hospital to have scans on to see what's going on there. 

And as of today I've been told that I'm being made redundant in 4 weeks time. 

All of this added up and the fact that I'm still speaking to a therapist about what happened with the cancer treatments and complications etc. it's very easy to spiral and let it drag you and see no end to it all.  I really struggle with it all every single day, it's changed me, I am not the same person I was before and I know that. And as I've stated before. If it wasn't for my missus I don't think I'd have had the fight left to get through it all. 

Sometimes all it takes is to spill your guts to a bunch of strangers who follow the same club as you do to make you feel that little bit better about things and gain that bit of grit to get up off the floor and carry on fighting. 

[Herman 9,820]

Godly, that is a hell of a lot heavy duty **** (technical term) for one person to deal with and I am glad you have your missus to help you through and are seeking therapy, which a lot of people still won't do.

This forum has its faults but it is also a good place for a vent, a laugh and a general chat. All the best to you and hopefully life starts getting a bit easier for you.👍

[sonyc 5,541]

1 hour ago, GodlyOtsemobor said:

Sometimes all it takes is to spill your guts to a bunch of strangers who follow the same club as you do to make you feel that little bit better about things and gain that bit of grit to get up off the floor and carry on fighting.

I recall your post perhaps 2 years ago GO and was very struck then by your story, honesty and bravery to front up to lots of challenges. And I've been aware of it every post since (like an elephant I have a very long memory, especially when I'm moved by something). And I wanted to tell you that your posts are often very sharp and further, you have a great sense of humour as well as playfulness. The world needs types like you believe me. 

I think it was Lao Tzu who talked about folk  often being depressed when they live in the past, whilst those who are anxious often live in a future state, whereas really living in the present brings more peace. And I've often felt the power of those words. Yet, your present circumstances feel like another challenge. The present is ever changing though and things will pass and hopefully you can settle again in a new home and get a great job (with much better bosses than I remember you had before).

You feel free to PM any time you like if you ever wanted to. I never promise anything but I am a good listener and a confidential one at that. It is often good to speak with a person you just don't know. That therapist sounds great too and will be a great resource.

I want to echo Herman's words too and just wanted you to know I enjoy your contributions on this forum.

Most posters are far more readers rather than active contributors and I'm 100% confident that there are a lot of folk here truly ready to be so supportive...you'll never need to feel alone in any of it. Life can feel like a fight and I really hope you keep on with that spirit until you don't need to because it all just gradually gets easier anyway, then you won't need to.