Jump to content


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited


Community Reputation

0 Neutral
  1. "...perhaps a list of ingredients should be made available" - Freedom of Information Act 2000 LGT, just pop a quick email to the club requesting to see the composite makeup of the half time pies and they''ll have to respond.  Within 20 days to boot! Mind you, they''ll probably just inform you that they purchase the pies from "Butcher Bob, Best Quality Spit & Sawdust Pies" for example, but at least you''ll know where to ping your next email... Ooops, the missus has just pointed out it only applies to public sector organisations... Sigh...just did a sneaky google on it, and wouldn''t you know it......damn women always have to be right don''t they...bless ''em...
  2. Thanks very much guys...I''ll keep checking the odd rumours that come up from time to time, and if any look like they contain any conspiracy type material, I''ll be sure to consult the "book of theories" looking for any correlation (the flimsier the better)...    
  3. To be fair, I actually think it is a viable question to ask.  I’ m no fan of conspiracy theories either, but I do happen to know the exact reasons behind this – it goes as follows –   Alan Shearer was indeed on Prince of Wales Road last Thursday.  Probably.  He wasn’t signing an autograph simply for an autograph’s sake however; he was actually signing a contract that stated the following:   “I, Alan Shearer, being of sound body and mind, and slightly receding hairline, hereby declare my intent to teach Norfolk schoolchildren the importance of one handed goal celebrations, with none of this somersaulting or forward rolling nonsense.  I may have decided to retire from premiership football to spend more time badgering, but I still want ridiculous goal celebrations stopped”.   There is much more to this than initially meets the eye however, and it does lean itself much more towards a conspiracy theory than you might think - the contract doesn’t tell the whole story.  The contract is just a cover story for a much darker deed –   As everyone knows, Alan Shearer spelt backwards spells Reraehs Nala, which “unbelievably” stands for Badger Boy in the old ancient hibidy-jibidy language.  Alan Shearer contains 11 letters, and, get this, SO DOES Reraehs Nala.  Add this fact to the fact that if you add 2 more letters to Badger Boy, then you also get 11 LETTERS…FACT.  I know you’ll be reeling from this myriad of FACTS already, but there is much much more…   “He (Shearer) is doing his coaching badges” – this is actually code for, “Shearer is coaching Badgers, (as in the miniature black & white stripy head grizzly bear look-alike type badger)”.    Clearly Shearer is (or worse, HAS) coaching these cuddly, shy, bovine TB carriers, possibly at Colney, in order to train and harness a crack team of Badgers to tunnel under Carrow Road.  On good authority, the species of Badgers is the fearsome Stink Badgers.  These SAS veterans of the Badger world will emerge in the opponent’s dressing rooms on match days and savage the players & coaching staff within.    The badger’s coup de grace is horrendous, (if you are young, or of a nervous disposition, please avert your eyes now.  Read two more lines with your eyes closed and start again at the next paragraph).  They (the Badgers) will excrete smelly stuff from glands near their bumhole – anyone unlucky enough to catch a whiff, will collapse in a heap, probably gibbering.   The postponed meeting is an easy one to explain away – the board were attending a presentation by the Stink Badger Association.  The Board needed to ensure that the little blighters would be hardy and tough enough to tunnel under Carrow Road, and intelligent enough not to get lost on the mission and build a home under the under soil heating system.  Regarding the meeting with Mr Blower, the Board simply could not afford for Mr Blower or anyone else to get an inkling of the dirty badgery deeds that are/were underfoot at NCFC…  they could not risk the whole sordid plan being exposed, hence the board had no option but to delay.  This they did in the most efficient and ruthless manner “worthy” of any James Bond Baddie – they postponed the meeting.        The Board have also implemented some contingency plans…if the Stink Badgers bumhole glands leak before they are due, or anything like that, Delia has prepared a statement to the effect of -   “The Kitchen are experimenting boiling eggs.  A whole lorry load of eggs”. This will ensure that anybody who is snooping around looking for badger related dirty doings, is thrown, quite literally, off the scent…ahem…apologies for the pun…    So, if there is a funny, musty badger poo type smell at Carrow Road for the next home game, you heard it here first!    And, as far as this conspiracy theorist is aware, no badgers, or their bumhole glands, have been harmed in the fabrication of this made up theory.
  4. Actually, I think you might find that the the ball is saying to Worthy that four stripe trakkies are so not cool...  As you can tell from Worthy''s expression, he could possibly be thinking about tearing one stripe off...[;)]
  5. Interesting thoughts guys.  The trouble with statistics, or more specifically, this kind of statistical forecasting analysis, is that it is not, as pointed out, an exact science (due to the impossibility of factoring in the “absolute” unknown).  The other aspect that is important is pointed out by Wiz, it can be easy to get statistics to show just what you want to show...but then just think how boring it would be if all statistics were based upon the same robust methodology that was beyond criticism and reproach...there would be NO stats and forecasts to argue about!!   They can however, and frequently do, provide a good “general” guide to how we might expect something to progress…on that basis, who is to say that YC’s projection will be that far out come the end of next season.  The things that will make a difference are those of which we know nothing of yet because they have not yet happened i.e. injuries, our players and our competitors form, potential transfers/transferees…etc etc the list goes on.     Btw EM, I think the first person to say “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics” was another famous Prime Minister, Benjamin Disraeli, I think, back in the 1860’s (ish??)   Mind you, he also said “It is knowledge that influences and equalises the social condition of man; that gives to all, however different their political position, passions which are in common, and enjoyments which are universal”...so what exactly he was on I’m not sure…   I truly believe we will be ok this coming season, though it might be harder than some predict.   City will be fine.
  6. Last night was, in my opinion, the ideal opportunity to "blood" players like Green (surely one of the main reasons for friendlies?).  To top off what was probably the dullest game I can remember seeing for a long time, Downing and Johnson only got about half an hour?  Just cannot see the logic behind those decisions.
  7. Whatever anyones thoughts regarding the reasoning behind this particular thread, I couldn''t help but chuckle when I looked at the post count - 38, as I type this (...slowly and with one finger I might add!).    For or against, with or without, agreeing or disagreeing, the views expressed and that post count in itself just goes to show the diversity of contributors and opinions to this board.  Come on guys, this is a place for debate, if people are not prepared to accept that others will have, and will express, completely different opinions to themselves, then in my opinion, they are posting to the wrong place.  Deal with it, and lets get on with the important stuff!   As an old colleague of mine would say "time to put this one to bed"...   However, he also used to say things like "cooking on gas" and "lining all my ducks up in a row"...so he was obviously a bit of a prat!
  8. Presumably, due to Leon being relatively recently injured with a hamstring strain, Worthy was trying to boost his match fitness levels.  You''re right about Leon probably being full of confidence after netting on Saturday - perhaps from the managers point of view, he was hoping another goal or two / good performance from him in the reserve game would have kept Leon''s brimming confidence level high?    Just our luck in my humble opinion.  
  9. "Does he know anything about football?" - IMO only in the sense of how an ex-footballer can look at bit smarmy whilst being a mediocre pundit on MoTD.  Anyone else noticed the sideways shifty look Lawro gives at the camera when it pans out and he''s not sure whether he is in shot or not? Or maybe it''s just me...
  10. It may be more pertinant to ask would Giggs be interested in us?
  11. This was my two pennorth'' for the halfwit hack     Dear Mr Woolnough,   After reading excerpts from your article headlined “Canaries not Worthy of the Top Flight” I felt compelled to write to express my utter disdain at what is clearly nothing more than a pathetic attempt to wind up Norwich City FC and its loyal followers.  I take particular exception to remarks like “Norwich’s dreadful attitude…” and “Norwich will stink the place out with similar performances…”  I would be interested to know how many matches you have actually seen Norwich play?  I am also assuming that coming back twice against a team like Bolton (and eventually winning) does not constitute the same kind of “spirit” that Palace have about them, or a “battling” nature that West Brom obviously have in abundance?       In my opinion, (although I’m sure I am not alone), you have clearly shown yourself to be little more than a pretentious, belittling, bigoted hack.  The one good thing to come out of this nonsense is that the sensationalist red top you “write” for (and I use the term loosely) has probably lost a few more readers…yes, we do get newspapers out here “in the sticks”.  A poor effort at journalism, not worth the paper it was printed on.       ...even halfwit is being generous...
  12. Too late Wiz - I''ve already spoken to the great man, and you must also remember delivery and amount of "goodies" can be directly proportional to behaviour across the whole fifty two weeks, not, as perhaps believed by some "loveable" rogues, just the preceding week leading up to Christmas....!! I also asked for Drogba, Ferdinand / Terry and Viera, for delivery anytime in January...strangely enough SC went particularly quiet and muttered something like "...no "unintelligible remark" chance sunshine"...?? 
  13. We are all individuals and we are all going to have differing opinions on everything, through these types of forums we can express those opinions, but please, let us not go down the route of personal insults and the very harsh non-constructive criticisms of the team and each other (…and ‘tis the season of goodwill after all!).   Valid constructive criticism is fine; I don’t think anyone would disagree, unfortunately, not everyone looks at the bigger picture – it is easy to pick out mistakes made by certain players, while (either deliberately or not) discounting mistakes by others…   I think that even with our personal preferences regarding personnel on the pitch, we all realise that over a number of games all players will have good games and all players will have bad games?    Lets be thankful for small mercies…we don’t have Megson in charge, we’re not bottom (or even bottom three) at Christmas, we are in the Premiership, Ipswich aren’t, we could well stay up this season…add your own, the list goes on…   And lets not discount or rubbish others opinions, they are what make us individuals after all…if we have a point to make or if we disagree then with something then say so, but do it politely and constructively.  Let’s get back to some reasoned, seasoned, good old-fashioned debate.
  14. You''d have to leave Greeno on...his luck with pens is bound to change sooner or later...why not in a theoretical cup final?
  • Create New...