Rev. Clarence Gentlefinger

Au contraire, he was useless at Fulham, as he has been all season. Real fans pay good money to follow the team and deserve more. They have every right to voice their disatisfaction. Their actions should be applauded.

McNally is only interested in the financial impact of staying up/relegation. As for asking the fans of other clubs where they would rather be, the response would depend on whether they were real fans or plastics - every club has them!

I haven''t got a laptop. Sorry.

Couldn''t agree more. It''s all about going to see Norwich City play. The division is pretty irrelevant and there are some distinct advantages to that division not being the Premier League. Which was more enjoyable - League One or the present season? Getting relegated to the Premier League is a disaster for those individuals whose only link to the club is via a broadband connection. What can I say? Try supporting your local team?

You missed out guzzling down a few more pins after the game. Football should take over the entire day. It''s not something you do in between shopping, playing with kids and a prawn cocktail at the Berni Inn. That you don''t get that strips away your "real fan" veneer to expose the plastic beneath.

Just out of interest, was the kickoff at Anfield delayed by an extra amount in memory if the victims of Heysel?

I don''t think so. Eight more games. Chance to renew hostilities with Leeds, Wolves and, of course, Ipswich. Far more competitive and interesting league. Better away days. Fixture list less buggered about by TV. A return to "real football" rattan the nauseatingly corporate McPremier League Inc TM. What''s not to like?

Watching football always has been a shared experience, being part of a crowd, going through the same roller coaster of emotions as those round you. It''s also something which is part of the bigger match day experience - digging out the shit and scarf, walking the familiar route to the ground or pulling into the service station on away days full of anticipation, beers and banter before and after the game. Compare this to waiting until one minute before kickoff, switching on an internet stream and sitting on your own for "the game". I can''t think of anything more tragic. It''s the absolute polar opposite of the genuine supporting experience. What do you do at half time? Flick through your e-mails? What do you do if we score? Give the air a little silent fist pump?

Really? Those of us who go to games would beg to differ on both counts.

Or in other words - Attention plastics! Last chance to visit two atmosphere-free grounds full of people just like you. Don''t forget to buy a halfy half scarf.

Would you pass to him? I wouldn''t.

But it wasn''t a wonder save. With the whole goal at his mercy, RVW managed to steer the straight at the keeper. Budgie Burridge would have bee proud of the theatrical display from the custodian but he could have thrown his cap on it.

Will another refund be forthcoming now the precedent has been set? In fairness, only RVW should stick his hand in his pocket because his performance was the only truly dreadful one.

The trick we missed was not addressing our most glaring problem in January. It was plain for all to see we had/have no cutting edge. The forwards signed at great expense in the summer are expensive flops. We did nothing about it. Hull signed Jelavic and Long. They''ll still be in the top flight next season. We won''t.

Don''t go up lads. If you do, you''ll get relegated. Then your games won''t be available on internet streams anymore. Then Brillo and his ilk won''t be able to "support" Norwich any more like they have for the last three seasons. Then Brillo and co will have to support some else instead - Leicester perhap?

Yes, that solitary goal he scored many, many months ago could prove vital. So could the numerous open goals he''s missed. What a pity he couldn''t have weighed in with 20 or so goals like a proper striker.

And you have the air of a stream watching plastic ...

Ricky''s solitary contribution is currently costing a cool £8.5 (plus wages!) per goal. Assuming he doesn''t add to his tally (and I think it''s safe to say you can stuck your house on that) will this be the most expensive goal in the history of football?

As a fellow man of the cloth, it would appear that Rev. Smallpiece is a rather better judge of talent than most contributors to this forum. He astutely stated back in September that we had "done our money" on Ricky back in September.

We''ve all seen him strutting round Carrow Road in his George at ASDA suit like he owns the place. I, for one, think he wields far too much power and has failed to show strong leadership over the last couple of years. I think it''s time this jumped up office boy was brought back to heel. The club lacks a strong Chairman, a Sir Arthur South or, greatest of them all, a Robert Chase. These men wouldn''t have humoured an upperty bean counter. Accordingly, it is my suggestion that a statue to Mr Chase be erected at the ground. It should bestride Carrow Road/Koblenz Avenue and be of sufficient height that when McNally looks out of his office window he is dwarfed by it. With Mr Chase''s characteristic cheery grin and high waisted trousers it truly would raise spirits. On match days fans could walk between his legs and feel his greatness. I have taken the liberty of contacting the relevant planning authorities and am confident of their full support. The statue could be paid for by donations and axing dead wood like the academy.

I think it important that we send a message at Craven Cottage, that we show these metropolitan types we''re not a mish mash of yokels and Alan Partridge types. Therefore, it is is important that our core support is made up of stout yeomen who live inside the ancient city walls. I realise you''ll always get a few excitable wurzels with over-sized animal excrement covered boots turning up to see if they can find Dick Whittington''s cat but can these sorts please keep a low profile.

The key difference is that Smudger was semi-literate; "should of" rather than "should have", etc.

Taking in to account the symptoms you describe, I can confirm you are a ... PLASTIC! Please return your ticket to the box office for redistribution to real fans.

The posh bloke from QI, Mylene Klaad and some Labour MP. A bit lame really. We need some more up to date ones. I''d like to nominate White Dee from Benefit Street as our new star celebrity fan.

Please continue your dull old gimmers conversation elsewhere. This is a plastic identification service.