crabbycanary 2 Posted April 2, 2014 THE England football team’s new kit is expensive because it is made from a cutting-edge material called PissTake. A Nike spokesman said: “Our patented PissTake fibres, designed in a space station, draw waste materials out of your skin, hence the name.“It’s a very special textile with coolants, breathants and also some ventilants. Wearing it, you’ll be the most ventilated you’ve ever been.“You need expensive shorts too, they’re impregnated with a super-light gonad-protecting alloy which we’ve named Gul-A-Ball.”13-year-old Stephen Malley said: “I really want this kit. But I’ve worked out I’ll be 43 by the time I’ve saved up enough pocket money, and I might have gone off football by then.”Ok, ok, I ''borrowed'' this from Daily Mash. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Katie Borkins 1 Posted April 2, 2014 I don''t see what was wrong with the old technology where the socks made you misplace every other pass and the shirt''s magnetic pull kept drawing you out of position. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
im spartacus canary 0 Posted April 2, 2014 everyone should just go retro and tell them to poke it [:D] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tetteys Jig 830 Posted April 3, 2014 Looks like my heskey 2010 away shirt will be making an appearance again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Butler 0 Posted April 3, 2014 [quote user="Jimmy Smith"]Looks like my heskey 2010 away shirt will be making an appearance again.[/quote]I wouldn''t you will never "score" wearing that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Indy_Bones 441 Posted April 3, 2014 [quote user="The Butler"][quote user="Jimmy Smith"]Looks like my heskey 2010 away shirt will be making an appearance again.[/quote]I wouldn''t you will never "score" wearing that.[/quote]He will - just once in 9 visits to the pub... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Butler 0 Posted April 3, 2014 [quote user="Indy_Bones"][quote user="The Butler"][quote user="Jimmy Smith"]Looks like my heskey 2010 away shirt will be making an appearance again.[/quote]I wouldn''t you will never "score" wearing that.[/quote]He will - just once in 9 visits to the pub...[/quote]You mean he will manage to find the door once from nine visits, have a half a shandy, then fall over,putting his glass over the bar. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites