Dan 0 Posted July 5, 2008 Scum Aid! An appeal to help the poor out there. A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit Ipswich in the early hours of Friday with its epicentre in the dump. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaa**inell".The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £ 30 worth of damage. 1000''s of caravans and several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars and rubbish piles were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. Also a flag bearing the words ''Were going down... again'' printed on it- and a tag on it which read ''On loan from Wolves'' was found beneath the rubble. The Ipswich town football club cup room was also severely damaged. Many saucers were found broken. Also the roof of the ipswich town north stand was damaged- damaged extending into the region of five pounds.Radio Suffolk reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Ipswich. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha in my caravan the next morning."Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including (Stolen) benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.HOW CAN YOU HELP?This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White sport socks Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Lidl''s brand lager/cider. £2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.£5 buys ciggarettes and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected Also 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.Please don''t show this to anyone living in Ipswich as they are already devastated enough- oh, sod it...they won''t be able to read it anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dan 0 Posted July 5, 2008 Well i meant hurricane. :-) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unhinged Canary 375 Posted July 5, 2008 I have got a 4-pack of Fosters (BBE 03/07) that I was saving for when the relatives came over but I''m sure I can relinquish it to help our blue cousins! Just tell me where to send it![A] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CiderkiddCanary 0 Posted July 5, 2008 [quote user="Dan"]Scum Aid! An appeal to help the poor out there. A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) [/quote][:|] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dan 0 Posted July 5, 2008 [quote user="Shazzakidd"][quote user="Dan"]Scum Aid! An appeal to help the poor out there. A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) [/quote][:|][/quote] What was you doing in scumland Shazza? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smeg 0 Posted July 5, 2008 a classic, reappears every year! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Houston Canary 0 Posted July 6, 2008 That must have been one hell of a hurricane if it measured on the Richter scale.Latest figures from the area report that upwards of 1/4 a billion pounds of improvements were made by the hurricane. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
