Evil Monkey 52 Posted June 13, 2007 I''m bored, you know what to do... [:D]I walk, lonely, through the dusty corridors, the air clinging to mylungs in a desperate attempt to escape this wretched place. The wallsare damp, the floor stained and the windows swamped with filth andscum. Much like in the old times of the Derby days, but this was adifferent kind of scum. This was the scum that had brought the oncenoble club to it''s knees. The Scum of Delia. Scum... Scum... Scum.The putrid stench of dead grass strikes me as I wander out into thelight, through the proud arches and towards the pitch I used to callhome. Although not in a literal sense, of course, because that wouldmake me some kind of feral animal reared in the wild. Which I''m not. No, this was my chapel, my spiritual home, my protector; deceased, forI am now alone.Above and below the steps of my Colloseum, the banners hung still. "Delia Out", one read. "Cook The Chef", screamed another. "WorthyOut", said a third. That one I knew well. It was from little TimmyWizard. He was confused.The flickering lights from above - powerful, but fading - played withit''s own reflection in the windows of the Jarrold Lounge. The curtainswere drawn and no light came from within. It is told that on some darkand stormy night, when the hounds of hell are baying for the blood ofman, a figure can be seen in those windows. A small, pale figure,framed by oven light. No expression can be seen; it bleeds sadness.Lightning cracked it''s whip against the sky and the rumble of pain followed soon after. The light, however, does not fade.Another smell catches my freezing nose, this time sweet and warm. It smelled like Rice Krispie cakes, like the ones my mother used to bake when I was a child draped in the Yellow and Green and wrapped in a warm blanket of innocence. The memory hastened tears to my stinging eyes and I try to blink away the pain.My eyes blur, and in the misty half light I spy before me a figure, framed in moonlight.She is here... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
macdougalls perm 0 Posted June 14, 2007 Saint Delia.... as the green mist clears to the sound of a strangely discordant and doleful refrain of ''Oh Huckerby......'', our saviour strides forth from what was, in ancient times, reputed to be the players tunnel. She takes to the pitch clutching half a putrifying goalpost and points, in terrifying wordlessness, to the dead grass which recoils beneath her mortifying touch. Wait, that isn''t a goalpost! As she wields the last remnants of the cross of Golgotha, her lips curl back from those worm infested teeth and she utters a blood curdling cry that can be heard from Lowestoft to the dark midsts of the south Suffolk marshlands......"WHERE ARE YOU??? COME ON LET''S BE AVIN YA!!!"Dogs yelp, children bury their faces in the security of their mothers aprons as parents try desperately to hide the ingrained fear of centuries past from their damned offspring. I scream and turn to run, but my feet are entrenched in the mouldy meat pies which now sit, bizarrely, in the place of our once hallowed turf. From behind me the Queen of the Harpies bellows with the intensity of five million banshees:"TROUBLE, WE''LL HAVE NO TROUBLE HERE!! THIS IS A LOCAL CLUB FOR LOCAL PEOPLE"Oh for the love of God, I must get away, if only I hadn''t become so partial to St Delia''s ''special stuff''! I thought I was so clever, I thought I knew it all - never again will I laugh at the Binner''s debt or the Linnet''s sparse catchment area, if only I am allowed to escape this unliving hell. Please..... must..... get away. Again, relentlessly, from behind me.....that bitch from the underbelly of Beelzebub''s dominions....."YOU KNOW WE''RE APPROACHING THE DEADLINE FOR SEASON TICKET RENEWAL, HAVE YOU RENEWED YOURS - YOU KNOW THAT 20,000 REGULARS CAN''T BE WRONG"I turn to shout "No, I won''t! I''m not paying £300 to watch that crap" but all that escapes my terrified lips is a squeaky "Okay, do you take switch?" Even the worms, squirming amongst the teeth of this unholy she-devil, cackle uncontrollably in an unbearably high pitched squeal as the community of the damned realise that I am theirs for eternity.But, NO, I must escape.... I will escape..... if only I can get to the Archant archives..... for I know that only the secrets hidden in this recepticle of community memory can free this city from her clutches......... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hog 0 Posted June 14, 2007 [quote user="Evil Monkey"]I''m bored, you know what to do... [:D]I walk, lonely, through the dusty corridors, the air clinging to my lungs in a desperate attempt to escape this wretched place. The walls are damp, the floor stained and the windows swamped with filth and scum. Much like in the old times of the Derby days, but this was a different kind of scum. This was the scum that had brought the once noble club to it''s knees. The Scum of Delia. Scum... Scum... Scum.The putrid stench of dead grass strikes me as I wander out into the light, through the proud arches and towards the pitch I used to call home. Although not in a literal sense, of course, because that would make me some kind of feral animal reared in the wild. Which I''m not. No, this was my chapel, my spiritual home, my protector; deceased, for I am now alone.Above and below the steps of my Colloseum, the banners hung still. "Delia Out", one read. "Cook The Chef", screamed another. "Worthy Out", said a third. That one I knew well. It was from little Timmy Wizard. He was confused.The flickering lights from above - powerful, but fading - played with it''s own reflection in the windows of the Jarrold Lounge. The curtains were drawn and no light came from within. It is told that on some dark and stormy night, when the hounds of hell are baying for the blood of man, a figure can be seen in those windows. A small, pale figure, framed by oven light. No expression can be seen; it bleeds sadness.Lightning cracked it''s whip against the sky and the rumble of pain followed soon after. The light, however, does not fade.Another smell catches my freezing nose, this time sweet and warm. It smelled like Rice Krispie cakes, like the ones my mother used to bake when I was a child draped in the Yellow and Green and wrapped in a warm blanket of innocence. The memory hastened tears to my stinging eyes and I try to blink away the pain.My eyes blur, and in the misty half light I spy before me a figure, framed in moonlight.She is here...[/quote] Your talents are clearly wasted on this site. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karl Pilkington 0 Posted June 14, 2007 Are you still drunk on advocat monkey boy??That''s odd even for you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gazzathegreat 0 Posted June 14, 2007 McDs and EvilI salute both of you...Mello, watch out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil Monkey 52 Posted June 15, 2007 Just one example of why boredom, inebriation and the internet shouldn''t mix!I was hoping it to catch on a bit more, but MP has outdone me completely! [:D] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mello Yello 2,298 Posted June 15, 2007 [quote user="gazzathegreat"]McDs and EvilI salute both of you...Mello, watch out.[/quote]"I awoke bright and cheerful this early morn, the rising eastern sun was piercing through my bedroom curtains - like a welder''s oxy acetylene torch slices through steel plate. I gazed at my darling, she was smiling sweetly in her dreams. I delicately kissed her velvet cheek, she momentarily stirred from her deep slumber - and her beautiful smile broadened as she caressed my flowing blonde hair with her long, soft slender fingers. I felt warm, content and such a lucky, lucky man, to be sharing my nights with my voluptious luscious lover, her crimson full pouting lips were glistening with the redness of a spring rose.......I went to the toilet........then got out of bed".......[:S]See, it''s really easy to write trendy student prose an'' stuff........You don''t have to be a such a clever dicky to write it!........[;)] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Canary oTutu 0 Posted June 15, 2007 [quote user="Mello Yello"][quote user="gazzathegreat"] McDs and EvilI salute both of you...Mello, watch out.[/quote]"I awoke bright and cheerful this early morn, the rising eastern sun was piercing through my bedroom curtains - like a welder''s oxy acetylene torch slices through steel plate. I gazed at my darling, she was smiling sweetly in her dreams. I delicately kissed her velvet cheek, she momentarily stirred from her deep slumber - and her beautiful smile broadened as she caressed my flowing blonde hair with her long, soft slender fingers. I felt warm, content and such a lucky, lucky man, to be sharing my nights with my voluptious luscious lover, her crimson full pouting lips were glistening with the redness of a spring rose.......I went to the toilet........then got out of bed".......[:S]See, it''s really easy to write trendy student prose an'' stuff........You don''t have to be a such a clever dicky to write it!........[;)][/quote] "I wandered, jealous, of other clowns..." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites