Mangol Wurzel

I remember Worthy used to love huge, strapping young men Wurzel

I''d try a peak at the Linfield away strip, that would be enought to put a spring in the step of the most miserable of senile old gimmers Fist Wizard! Wurzel

You''re not from London are you? Wurzel

The great camel''s toe debate rages on! I''ve studied the picture very, very carefully. I think an inappropriately placed seam may be creating the ILLUSION of a camel''s toe. I think this would make a far more interesting topic for a Pink''un ballot than "was it the right decision to pull off Hucks?" Yawn. So, what can you see at http://www.linfieldfc.com/. Is it: A - camel''s toe B - seam (which must rub a bit, I''d imagine?) I throw it over to you, the Great British public to decide Wurzel

Rather more pleasing to the eye than Ginger Pele trying to look alluring in one of our Black Shirts! Wurzel

Ask the Krays, sorry slip of the tongue, the Turner''s about the effects of the credit crunch on Naaridge. If you''re in the loan sharking business, suddenly you might not have quite as much cash burning a hole in your pocket to lob at your local struggling football team. Wurzel

And what''s your local team, sonny? Brentford?

I like you too! But Potato Pete doesn''t like me. He keeps deleting my posts becasue I''m not some London bigshot who''ll blow a few grand on an expense account lunch. I think Potato Pete harbours grudges becasue secretly he''d like to work in the smoke for a BIG paper like the Tooting Argus. Wurzel

Whoaaahhh! Let me just stop you there son. Read the sign - If you don''t live in Norwich - you ain''t a REAL fan! Which part do you need explaining? On another theme - I like the idea of a "Readers Wives" page on here! Classy! Wurzel

I''m just touched that someone would go the trouble of mastering Photoshop just for little old me! Has anyone got a hanky, I''m welling up here Wurzel

Can I come? I''ve never been to London before! Are the streets really paved with gold? I''d like to see Tower Bridge and Big Ben. I don''t know where the meeting is, but if I ask a policeman I''m sure they could help me. What time does it start? Wurzel

Look lads, it''s fine for you to pretend to like footbal with Tarquin and St. John and your other Big City mates but when you start coming round here, to our MANOR, with your fancy lahdidah ways, you''re taking LIBERTIES, you''re ''avin a LARF! Support your local team. WORD! But what ever you do, calm down. If you start posting details of your made up domestic circumstances and sticking in pictures randomly culled from the web you''re losing it! Next you''ll be reaching for the crayons and firing off letters to the editor of the Pink''un but you''ll press too hard and rip the paper and have to start again and get REALLY ANGRY! Wurzel

Norwich City Football Club - a LOCAL club for LOCAL people! Support your local team! Wurzel

SAFU - I''d guessed Upper Street ponce, but you''re more of a Parson''s Green ponce? Actually, I live in a loft apartment in the Upper East Side with five other people of a similar age, guys and gals! We all hang out at a local coffee shop called Chapelfiled Perk and get into hilarious scrapes. Actually, that''s made up. A bit like your dream life? Back to the bedsit on your own again tonight? Remains of a meal for one dripping down your soiled vest? If you don''t live in a Norwich you''re not a REAL fan! WORD! FACT! Captial Canaries - nearly as nauseating as Northern Canaries Wurzel

Out of interest SAFU, what is you local club? I''m going to plump for Arsenal. Am I correct? Am I? Am I? Wurzel

Whittlingham Lane is East Anglia''s capital of dogging! Errr, so a friend a tells me. I thought everyone knew that? Wurzel

I can see some of you are egtting a bit hot under the colar about this. Look, don''t shoot the messenger! I don''t make the rules, but rules IS rules! If you don''t live in Norwich, you''re not a REAL fan, it''s that simple. I feel for you, really I do. I wish there was something I could do to help. You could try moving to Norwich,  but that would simply make you a new wannabe fan desperate for attention (ugh!!). I think the simplest thing may be to try supporting another team, perhaps a local club, like Chelsea? Wurzel

So, rather than sorting out the club''s finances, the board are off on a jolly to pay lip service to a bunch of braying, old school tie, City Boy types in the kind of gaff where Gordon Blair and his cronies meet up. Why? Why does the club pay any attention to these exiled so-called "fans"? Manchester United widely dispersed "fan" base is, quite rightly, derided and loathed in equal measure. How are the Capital Canaries any different from the Sarf Lahhndahn Reds? I glad that most REAL fans hurled abuse at these attention seekers when they marched round the pitch at Carrow Road. Stockbrokers pretending to like "association soccer" to give them something laddish to talk about over pink gins at the golf club. NCFC - a local club for local people Wurzel

I live in a city, Kitty, a fine city. As all REAL fans do! Wurzel

Stan Collymore - VERY strong rumours that he is about to be presented to the assembled press in a Norwich shirt. Word is that he is impresse by tyhe club''s proximity to Whittlingham Lane

Did fat luvvy Stephen Fry who pretends to support Naaridge (typical Capital Canary eh!) turn up? Wurzel

No, this is FACTS, son. I''m a student of the science of football and know this stuff. Don''t get me wrong, Im not a borderline mental old gimmer like Fist Wizard, I knoww my onions! Wurzel

What kind of reception do you think Clingon and the Irish Maradonna should get tonight? I think they need to EARN our respect and support! I think until they have, they should be booed and subjected to volley after volley of personal abuse. It is a scientifically proven FACT that booing spurs players on, especially youngsters who are eager to please. Wurzel

There could be a simple explanationas to why this guy has scored so many goals apart from him being the next Georgie Best. Linfield and Co play in a glorifiied pub league. Walking past Sloughbottom at the weekend I watched one bloke score over twenty goals!! Admittedly his 4 year old goalkeeping son was having trouble with lobs but perhaps his dad was just a goal machine and should be offered a long and lucrative professional contract at Carrot Rud immediately? Wurzel 

These "new fans" do seem to be working themselves up into a bit of tizzy don''t they! I bet half of them don''t even LIVE in Norwich!! Wurzel