Mangol Wurzel

Wurzel also says.... (in his slow, slurred tones)... that when we go daaahhhhnnn, we goin daaahhhnnnn for a long stretch without parole. I can dig out my old Division Three (South) runners -up souvenir crossbow. Can you still take crossbows into the ground?

I''ll shoot that dawwwggg if he''s worryin my sheep Git orf moi laahhhnndddd

We''re going dahhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn !! Got a nasty feeling in my animal excrement covered boots that the coup de gras will be delivered by the scummers. At least we''ve got a reasonable chance of visit to the new McWembley (TM) in the Jonstones Paint Trophy. Git orf moi lahhhhnnndd!

Oh, I know this one! Is it Desert Orchid?

Sorry, I''ve only just got back from dogging downWhittlingham Lane. Is it true that the "Three Amigos" have been appointed? It''s a brave move. Some would say foolhardy. I love Captain Canary, Splat and Aviva. But not in a, you know, biblical way. If results do go against them, I''d blame Aviva first. Jonny come lately bar steward. I could never the Captain. I might just rise to a "Captain, sort it out" but I wouldn''t boo him. Can''t wait till the Southampton game. Will they have new managerial outfits?

Getting back to the dream pairing, there seems to be some confusion over whether or not Malcolm Allison is dead or not. Could anyone please enlighten us? His being brown bread may not be an insurmountable problem - a bit of Doris Stokes stylee "beyond the grave" coaching may liven things up at Colney

Perhaps they could mark the start of their managerial partnership with a rousing duet of "Ebony and Ivory" in the centre circle before thier first game. I think it would bring a lump to fans'' throats

The OFFICIAL Big Ron for Manager Protest will be meeting in the Cat and Fiddle, Magdalen Street at 1.00. Please wear a sheepskin coat, sovereign rings and plenty of Superdrug Summer Glow Get it SORTED Doncaster!!

If we could get Big Ron as manager and Malcolm Allison as Director of Football, THAT would be the dream team to end all dream teams. Plus Big Ron knows loads of dead famous sorts, the Baron Knights, people like that. His arrival would usher in a new era of glamour. He might even get Jethro to go to a game. This could be the start of soemthing BIG!

See, look, the campaigns spreading like wildfire. Big Ron could treach some of the muppets we''ve had in charge a thing or two. And he''s a classy guy

Pleased to have you as a fellow Big Ron campaigner. Welcome aboard, son!

Why is Big Ron not included in the booky''s lists? He''s a big man in every sense of the word. He can pull off the permatan, sheepskin and gold combo like no-one else. Ron had bling before bling was invented.Yeah, yeah, yeah, all that stuff about unfortunate comments when the mike got left on. But Ron''s changed, he made that TV programme that PROOVED that he''s definitedly not racist. Let the Board know who we want tomorrow. Who do we want? Big Ron "I ain''t no racist" Atkinson! When do we want him? Now! No Reeves, No fans, No future, SOUTH OUT  

Whoooaaahhhh! Don''t shoot the messenger! I can but report back to you, the geeky nerds of interweb world, what I heard with my own ears. Are you calling Les Ferdinand a LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????? Wurzel

Perhaps the one on Setanta was a looky-likey? A Fat Les? The real destroyer of Blue Petter Gardens was sitting in the back row of the 59s lounge seats. Couldn''t you see that on your 60 inch plasma HD tellybox? Wurzel

We''ll see, in 7-14 days. Wurzel

Les didn''t know about it - he was being enlightened by the bloke I didn''t recognise. Don''t shoot the messenger, little fella! (well, so the rumours go!) As I said, in my defence, I had been on the sauce but was definitely compus mentis. Incidentally, I may also have wee''d on Gerry Harrison''s shoes at half time. Sorry Gerry - at least they weren''t suede. Wurzel

Admittedl;y, I had been drinking heavily, but no to the poin that it impaired my hearing. Wurzel

Sat just in front of Les Ferdinand in the Main Stand last night. Earwigging in on his conversation with some bloke I didn''t recognise, the big man soon to be arriving is...... [drum roll] ..... EMILE HESKEY !!!!!

I''m not sure! I think it looks creepy and homoerotic Wurzel

I''d sign him like a shot. I hate all this namby-pamby pansy "skillful" football. What we need is cynical types who''ll kick lumps pf the opposition. I also like men in Alice Bands Wurzel

Thank you!

Worthy used to like huge, strapping young men. Each to their own, I say. Wurzel

SADO!! Great to hear from you again! Is this another picture of your "wife"? She looks different from the last one. I was a little concerned for your well-being after seeing your lovely black and white picture. You seem to be a bit of a, how can I put this, larger-boned gentleman? I appreciate living in the great metropolis can be hectic, but you make the effort to eat healthily, to look after yourself. Perhaps a bit of exercise (remember that??). You it not only to yourself, but to the kiddwinks! I don''t want to be reading no "Obese Lahdahner in brand new Norwich shirt drops down brown bread" type headlines. Take care of yourself! Wurzel

I''m not sure I believe that. She doesn''t look like the kind of bird who would "go" with someone sporting a double breated royal blue jacket but no trousers. Wurzel

The early groundswell of opinions seems to be firmly behind goat''s foot! Wurzel