Tumbleweed 106 Posted May 4, 2005 Dear Sir Alex, or Arsene or Jose, Rafael etcYou may have heard about a chap with the above name who has scored a few goals recently. Now the close season is approaching you should be aware that he is not really very good and I would definitely not recommend you even thinking of buying him. His first touch and control are woeful and he just has no physical presence. Those headed goals? A fluke (well two flukes but who''s counting). Positioning and reactions are on a par with a rather corpulent hippopotamous. He didn''t even score last Saturday or the one before so you can see he''s not for you.In fact, the reason for our recent revival is down to our underrated defence and midfield. Should you come here trying to find a Summer bargain we could perhaps tempt you with a Scottish midfielder who according to rumour has an extra lung allowing him to power up and down the field with great gusto. We also have a rather short (but then Frodo Baggins was short and look what he achieved) wide player who is hail and hearty being Irish fellow and we used to love him very much. And a couple of central defenders who have unfairly taken the blame for us conceding the odd goal here and there (we all know its that useless fellow named after a fringe political party). One of them played for the real team in Manchester once, and the other came from a Big Club (unlike our small and dimunitive little outfit), so they must be good.So really, Dawn Ashdown (see, he''s so bad I''ve forgotten his name already) is not really the one you want, you could have the others I have mentioned for a few million and you would be playing football the like of which you may not have seen for a long time. I am sure all my fellow supporters will agree with me on this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DumbleDelia is Magic 0 Posted May 4, 2005 Spot on NavMan! I think he needs to stay here for a few more years (10 maybe?) just to get used to playing top football Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NavMan 0 Posted May 4, 2005 DD - I think you meant Tumbleweed - although I would of course take the plaudits for such a fine piece of writing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fozzie 0 Posted May 4, 2005 [quote]DD - I think you meant Tumbleweed - although I would of course take the plaudits for such a fine piece of writing.[/quote]Good observation there, Wiz. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AJ 1,219 Posted May 4, 2005 [quote]Good observation there, Wiz.[/quote]only problem is it wasnt whiz it was navman.....anyhow, some good points there, interesting We need to keep Ashton as long as possible Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fozzie 0 Posted May 4, 2005 [quote]only problem is it wasnt whiz it was navman..... anyhow, some good points there, interesting We need to keep Ashton as long as possible[/quote]*WOOSH* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DumbleDelia is Magic 0 Posted May 5, 2005 Firstly Tumbleweed- Apologies. Not sure why I put NavMan there! Great post NavMan- You should be glad your in my subconscious mate Fozzie- Quality! Made me chuckle Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phil Schmil 0 Posted May 5, 2005 [quote]only problem is it wasnt whiz it was navman..... anyhow, some good points there, interesting We need to keep Ashton as long as possible[/quote]Is that the sound of tumbleweed I hear? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tumbleweed 106 Posted May 5, 2005 I guess that with years of defence cuts its only a matter of time before our once-great naval fleet turns to rust and confusing me (in dry dock of course) with NavMan might not be too far off the mark......!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites