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The Butler

Friday Again

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MAny thanks lfor last week to our own George and Gracie (Wazz and WITS) . Who also managed a big U cerificate from the MCBC.

Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. 

All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 

''Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 

''Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! 

He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. 

The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,. 
''Was the other Indian crazy or what?'' 

The Indian replied ''No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler  ''Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there''s a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us. 

Just then they came upon another cave.

The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, ''Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'' 

Immediately, there was the answer. 

''Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'' from deep inside. 

He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening. 

The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, ''Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'' 

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might ''Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'' like the others, he then heard an answering call, ''WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!''

With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he ran. 


The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read............... 

You''ll like this............... 



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The Husband Store A store that sells new husbands has opened in London , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!  There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.  On the first floor the sign on the door reads:Floor 1 - These men Have JobsShe is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.''That''s nice,'' she thinks, ''but I want more.''So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.''Wow,'' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.''Oh, mercy me!'' she exclaims, ''I can hardly stand it!'' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.  There are no men on this floor.  This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.  Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.  PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store''s owner opened a new Wives Store just across the street.The first floor has wives that love sex.The second floor has wives that are rich and love sex The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

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1.Osama bin Laden has just released a new TV message to prove he is still alive. He said that the England Team performance on Friday was completely s**t. English intelligence have dismissed the claim, stating that the message could have been recorded anytime in the last 44 years.

2.In a statement from broadcasting house, all future England games will now be shown on the gay porn channel. It is thought that 11 @rseholes being regularly shafted is too explicit for regular TV.

3.I can''t believe we only managed a draw against a s**t team we should easily have beaten......I''m ashamed to call myself Algerian.

4.I went to the doctors and It turns out I have the Rob Green virus. No Idea how I caught it.

5.When ITV HD said showing adverts when England score will never happen again, I thought they meant they''d fixed a f@cking technical problem.

6.The England team went to visit an orphanage in South Africa this morning, "its so good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling, and facing the impossible" said Jamal Omboto, aged 6.

7.Fifa have released a statement saying the fan didn''t break into the dressing room after all, but was let in by Rob Green.

8.What''s the difference between Rob Green''s spill and BP''s spill?
- Robert Green has got a cap for his.

9.Robert Green - The only man to leave Africa with out catching anything .

10.Just seen the new Shrek film. Awful. Shrek does nothing for 90 minutes then has a go at the audience for booing!

11.I''m shocked at Wayne Rooney''s outburst after the Algeria game. Who knew he could even string a sentence together!

12.Q."What''s the difference between England and a bucket of s**t?"
A."The bucket"

13.Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" To which the old lady replied, "No way. You got yourself into this f*****g mess, don''t ask me to sort it out..."

14.Fabio Capello told Wayne Rooney to have a long look at himself in the mirror. Like that''s going to improve his confidence?

15.The FA have launched an inquiry to find out how a fan found his way into the dressing room, while another enquiry is imminent into how Aaron Lennon found his way into the dressing room.

16.South Africa police have been concerned about drug dealers,thieves and drug fiends during the world cup - A spokesman announced that things should improve when John Terry and his family go home!


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