Arthur Whittle 0 Posted April 30, 2010 Heres a classic clip from the brilliant not the 9 o clock news...with the superb Rowan Atkinson.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BO8EpfyCG2Y Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
John 0 Posted April 30, 2010 [quote user="Arthur Whittle"]What kind of ham smells of curry? Birmingham. Now be honest....how many of you would have gone nuts if I had said that joke and called me racist???[/quote]Gone "nuts"??? ''Course not, "same old Arthur" would of entered my mind though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pi$$ed As A Mattress 0 Posted April 30, 2010 I''m voting for the Icelandic Volcanic Party...They''ve done more to stop Immigration in the last month than Labour have done in the last 13 years Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pi$$ed As A Mattress 0 Posted April 30, 2010 Got attacked in an alley by three guys last night. I knocked one out.Granted, It wasnt the best time for a w**k but it could have been my last Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pi$$ed As A Mattress 0 Posted April 30, 2010 What have Essex Girls and bowling balls got in common?They both like to be picked up, fingered and then banged down an alley Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pi$$ed As A Mattress 0 Posted April 30, 2010 Whats the difference between an Essex Girl and a bowling ball?..You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pi$$ed As A Mattress 0 Posted April 30, 2010 What do you get if you cross a Jehoavahs Witness and a Millwall fan?Someone who knocks on the door and tells YOU to f**K off Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pi$$ed As A Mattress 0 Posted April 30, 2010 Irish Joe takes his goldfish to the vet claiming it has epilepsy." The fish looks fine to me Joe" says the vet."Yes vet, but you havent seen him out of the bowl yet have ya?" says Joe Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pi$$ed As A Mattress 0 Posted April 30, 2010 What have women and clouds got in common?Sometimes they f**k off and its a nice day Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Woman in the Stands (WITS) 0 Posted April 30, 2010 A new council tax-evaluation policy wants to charge us more if we livein a nice area. That ought to mean discounts for those of us who livein rough areas. There is a huge council house in our area. The extended family is runby a grumpy old woman with a pack of fierce dogs. Her car isn''t taxedor insured and doesn''t even have a number plate, but the police stilldo nothing. Her bad-tempered old man is notorious for his racist comments. A local shopkeeper blames him for ordering the murder of his son and his son''s girlfriend,but nothing has yet been proved. All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, who everyone thought was gay. Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are always out partying in nightclubs. They are out of control. I hate living near Windsor Castle . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Woman in the Stands (WITS) 0 Posted April 30, 2010 Why ......do Tesco''s make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.Why .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.Why ....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.Why .......do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.Why . .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering..EVER WONDER ....Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?Why women can''t put on mascara with their mouth closed?Why don''t you ever see the headline ''Psychic Wins Lottery''?Why is ''abbreviated'' such a long word?Why is it that doctors call what they do ''practice''? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn''t there mouse-flavoured cat food? Why didn''t Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why don''t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don''t sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? Why? Good question.Now that you''ve smiled at least once, it''s your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (may be even a chuckle)....in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arthur Whittle 0 Posted April 30, 2010 Apple has a new device out for Chinese people. The iOpener Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Woman in the Stands (WITS) 0 Posted April 30, 2010 Thought you might find this interesting !!! "And thus, dear students, we have arrived at the formula for understanding women". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
