Its Friday again

[Shyster 0]

[quote user="Admiral Nelson"]Paddy and Mick are walking through a graveyard looking at headstones.

Mick says to paddy look at this one this guy was 127 !

Paddy asks "whats his name ? "

"Miles to London" replies Mick[/quote]

I was walking past a graveyard earlier today and thought to myself ''people are dying to get in there''.

[CanaryColt 0]

[quote user="city-till-i-die"]

Gold medal winner Caster Semenya is furious at having to take a gender test...she said at a press confrence..."After my success on the track, this comes as a right kick in the boIIocks [:D]

[/quote]

 

Did you know that, quite aptly, Caster Semenya is an anagram of ''Yes, a secret man''

[Wings of a Sparrow 1,415]

I was walking my dogs in the churchyard earlier when I noticed a man crouching behind one of the gravestones.

I said "morning" and he replied "no, I''m having a dump"

Oldies but goodies.....

[Knock off Nige 1]

[quote user="Wings of a sparrow"]I was walking my dogs in the churchyard earlier when I noticed a man crouching behind one of the gravestones.

I said "morning" and he replied "no, I''m having a dump"

Oldies but goodies.....[/quote]

In the best spirit of Tommy Cooper

I thank you, its the way I tell em

[Knock off Nige 1]

Just worked out the quote button is as much use as a chocolate teapot

[BlyBlyBabes 0]

Warning notice

nutty doesn''t like it at all when you google.

OTBC

[Diesel Doris 129]

[quote user="Beauseant"]

Trevor was in the fertilised egg business. He had several hundred young pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilise the eggs. The farmer kept records  and any rooster that didn''t perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone so Trevor could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer''s  favourite rooster was old Gordon, and a very fine specimen he was too. But on this particular morning Trevor noticed old Gordon''s bell hadn''t rung at all! Trevor went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to farmer Trevor''s amazement, Gordon had his bell in his beak, so it couldn''t ring. He''d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Trevor was so proud of Gordon; he entered him in the Hertfordshire County Fair and Gordon became an  overnight sensation among the judges.
The result?

The judges not only awarded Gordon the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly Gordon was a pullitician in  the making: Who else but a pullitician could figure out how to win two of the  most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren''t paying attention.

Do you know any Pulliticians called Gordon?

[/quote]STILL chuckling at this 9 hours later!!!![:D]