Off topic but to lighten a day of anxiety?

[Camuldonum 0]

Great anecdotes from Mr Fry at Peterborough, apparently arising from a pre-season junket for Football League execs.

"I got chatting to the Wrexham bloke, nice guy, poor sod''s down in the Conference.  He said to me: ''If sheep had any money and could come to games we''d still be in League Two''

" I said: ''If cabbages had any money and could come to games we''d be in the top four of the ******* Premiership.''

"We had a game, right, where we lost at the death - the killer stuff.  Scramble in the area - the ball hits TWO of their players and goes out for a goal kick but the lino gives them a corner from which they scored.

"I didn''t say nothing when we come off but when I met him in the corridor as he was leaving I said: "Their winner was  a diabolical decision, ref.

"My lino saw it clearly and flagged  it," he said.

I said: "You obviously never joined the Sea Scouts, mate.  If you had you''d know the word your ****** linesman was flagging  out all night."

"There was this player, right.  His agent rang me up and said: "His present club are paying the interest on his mortgage - can you offer that?

"We can do better than that", I said.  "The City Council housing manager is a box holder - tip me the wink and a three bedroom council semi in Orton is thrown in with the deal.  The garden could be overgrown but we''ll help with that as well..............."

If any of you ever have the chance to attend an event at which Bazza is the after dinner speaker I commend the event in advance.  He''s one of the best stand up comedians I know outside of the stand up comedian circuit and certainly one of the best, if not the best, in football.

Courtesy of a friend who had the recent delight of attending one such event in Fenland at which, allegedly, some were nearly peeing themselves..............

 

 

[Match Day Pie 0]

The Geezer of geezers. I''ve met him several times and he always puts a smile on my face. Had a great few words to say about Leon McKenzie, which I can never repeat, but it still makes me laugh to this day!

[canary cherub 1]

[quote user="Match Day Pie"]The Geezer of geezers. I''ve met him several times and he always puts a smile on my face. Had a great few words to say about Leon McKenzie, which I can never repeat, but it still makes me laugh to this day![/quote]

Oh, go on . . . [;)]

I''ll never forget that fly on the wall TV series where he was filmed signing a player and announced "Sold to the fat bastard in the blue blazer!" [:D]

 

[canary cherub 1]

Another gem from Alan Sugar this time, quoted on Radio 5 last night.  It was about 10 years ago when really big money was just starting to flow into the Premiership.  Sugar said:  "£10 billion, £20 billion, £50 billion . . . it doesn''t matter how much you give them, they''ll just piss it up the wall".  How very true.