mikewalker

[quote user="footycanary"]Well the way your original post read, that is the way I and most other people would interpret it. For somebody who has been or is being university educated, according to your profile, you don''t appear to have a grasp on english or are that bright. Just try to engage that organ in your head, you know the one that is supposed to be between your ears before you respond to posts in the future. Sorry, I''m being judgemental like you were in your first response, sinking to your level. I know I''ll wait for your response and retract this post saying ''I am now chilled''. Good bye, it will now be another two years before I post again. Thank you for turning me away from this message board.[/quote]Listen here sunshine, I don''t care about your low post count, your credentials, your pathetic life story excuse or your evident lack of messageboard etiquette, but if you ever speak to alysha like that again and I''ll fuggen berst yer, whether it be in 2 years or whenever some XXL fuggen bit of sweatshop tat arrives on your doorstep and you feel the need to bray about it, anyway, speak to her or anyother turk off here again like that and I''ll make you beg for a fuggen transfer back to Newcastle or wherever the fug you wormed out of. I''ll devastate you and leave you choking for air like some 14 year old beaut who douses himself in lynx africa 2cm from his body and is left staggering from fume clouds. Whopper.

[quote user="Buckethead"]Well as both Delia S. Tickers and Mustachio Furioso you were a man if that helps your little dilemma. [/quote]   OOOFF. Lovely stuff.

We won''t lose 2 in a row all season...theres 3 points to be had every other weekend.Premier League bigwigs, The FA...whatever you need to set up for a premiership season, set that **** up and lets get some ************ points on the board foolsKICKIT OFF

[quote user="Hellesdon Canary"]If you play 4-3-1-2 with the central one of the 3 set as a ball winning midfielder, and the two wider ones set as box to box midfielders with wide play as hug touchline, that seems to work. Currently 14 played, won 10 and drawn 4.[/quote]   cheers HC I''ll, my nephew will try that later.

Anyone managed to get a 4-4-2 Diamond formation working with City? I''m presuming you had ''deep lying playmaker/defensive midfielder'' on Dend for the Fox role and ''Treqartista/Adv Playmaker/Att Mid'' for the tip of the diamond. How did you set up the Crofts and Surman roles, as centre mids with ''move into channels'' or as wide midfielders? Any advice appreciated.     Not for myself like, for my nephew who''s into comics and sci-fie and computery stuff. I''m a man''s man, totally comfortable with tactics about practical things like how to pull 2 checkout honeys in Morrisons without them finding out about my wooing of the other. Cheers nerds.

[quote user="Joanna Grey"][quote user="mikewalker"][quote user="Joanna Grey"][quote user="mikewalker"][quote user="Joanna Grey"] [quote user="Crispy"] I would be extremely disappointed if we didn''t end up with over 7 signings. Morrison, Vaughn, Bennet et al improve our squad for sure but they are great prospects but expecting them to perform week in week out & nick points of established prem teams is a big ask. We need a couple of BIG coups. @thisiscrispy [/quote] Suggest a couple of BIG coups who would satisfy you. [/quote]   Joey Barton and Johnny Evans *taps nose* [/quote] You can tap your nose as much as you like but the only ''contacts'' you have are Jack and 5hit. [/quote] You calling Monsieur Ronaldez X. Rumouré a liar, sunshine?   [/quote] More like a wind-up merchant. [/quote]   Yes, he also sells sails.

Are any of you supreme worryists actually going away/staying at home for a few weeks in the sun or are you all keeping the vigil of obsessing about every possible permutation of newspaper rumour/ released free agent / expensive car number plate that comes into your beady view? Get a grip fools. As a wise man once said "life is a rollercoaster, you just gotta ride it" Think on, eh?

[quote user="Joanna Grey"][quote user="mikewalker"][quote user="Joanna Grey"] [quote user="Crispy"] I would be extremely disappointed if we didn''t end up with over 7 signings. Morrison, Vaughn, Bennet et al improve our squad for sure but they are great prospects but expecting them to perform week in week out & nick points of established prem teams is a big ask. We need a couple of BIG coups. @thisiscrispy [/quote] Suggest a couple of BIG coups who would satisfy you. [/quote]   Joey Barton and Johnny Evans *taps nose* [/quote] You can tap your nose as much as you like but the only ''contacts'' you have are Jack and 5hit. [/quote] You calling Monsieur Ronaldez X. Rumouré a liar, sunshine?  

[quote user="Row D Seat 7"]I think the Osman bid was a load of rubbish IMO.[/quote] I like Osman. Everton are skint so I reckon we''d get him for £6.5m

[quote user="Joanna Grey"] [quote user="Crispy"] I would be extremely disappointed if we didn''t end up with over 7 signings. Morrison, Vaughn, Bennet et al improve our squad for sure but they are great prospects but expecting them to perform week in week out & nick points of established prem teams is a big ask. We need a couple of BIG coups. @thisiscrispy [/quote] Suggest a couple of BIG coups who would satisfy you. [/quote]   Joey Barton and Johnny Evans *taps nose*

[quote user="Bethnal Yellow and Green"] [quote user="mrs miggins"]i hope he''ll be the next england manager though. (as much as i dislike him)[/quote]   If he is the next England manager I predict as much success as Kevin Keegan. The most telling quote I have heard about Redknapp is from van der Vaart who said "things are very different from Real Madrid here, we were drilled on tactics and giving briefs about opposing players there. Harry just tells me to go out and run around a bit"   Redknapp buys excellent players and puts them on the pitch in a 4-4-2 and hopes they work it out for themselves. Works well at club level, will be useless at international level. [/quote]   I disagree entirely. Club football is massively overanalysed and the opposition know every fuggen thing about the way a team (ie Spurs) set up. He feeds off this ''football romantic, keep it simple, entertain'' press persona. If he was really only saying "fuggen run around a bit do what you like" then they''d be relegated by Oct. I think in International football where squads only meet up for about 2 days before a match and have zero time to properly work on systems and tactics etc his ''supposed'' simple motivational style might actually reap rewards. Either way, he''s a mouthy tit.

Can this melting faced crook go more than 24 hours without getting all jiggy in the press about someone elses "triffic" player he''d like or mentioning exactly who wants his players and what sort of deal he''d accept. Go home and play on yer game cube or whatever it is you hawk. TIT.

[quote user="Mr.Carrow"]When i was about 12 me and my mates were playing headers and volleys up the park. We`d been playing a while and inevitably enough we`d got a bit bored and tired and started to mess around doing cartwheels etc. I`m about 15 yards from goal and launch into a forward roll just as a lad crosses the ball....which hits my heel as i go over and screams into the bottom corner! Of course, i said i meant it at the time but couldn`t do it again in a million years! Also managed to bring down a long ball and lob the keeper over my own head last year- not bad on a 7-a-side pitch with small goals :-)[/quote]   Lovely stuff, on both goals. The first one sounds like a Le Tissier out-take!!

Mungo Bumpkin and NMTD: congratulations on wonderful goals and more importantly brilliantly executed write-ups, I swear to god the hairs on my neck stood up reading them. Superb contributions.

In light of the spectacular goalscoring talents lurking within this board, I''m thinking of starting a Fight Club style club for discerning individuals who want to spend half an hour volleying shots at goal at extreme pace and ridiculous range. We''ll film it on a phone (sellotaped to the stanchion) and the best goal of that edition of the club gets put on the web. Anyone interested turn up at half 5 tomorrow in Eaton Park near the bike track pitch. No proper football kit, no boots etc I want to see fools in suits, pointed shoes with buckles and steel toe capped boots leathering footys into that goal. MILFs welcome to attend also.   ~hush~

PurpleCanary You don''t need a university degree to help a damsel in distress. It''s basic timeless chivalry. It helps if the damsel is well stacked, a bit like Nigella Lawson in her prime. SCHWING

[quote user="AJ Wizard"]I''ve got two that always stick in my mind. Playing for my home town, against a Norwich side actually, we were passing it around in the midfield, and a stray pass bobbled over and just out of my friends reach. As the ball ran across me, just inside their half, something told me to have a dig. So I did, curving a lovely arch up and over the keeper into the top corner. Never celebrated so madly! Another was playing for my school team. Dying minutes of a cup game, scores level at 1-1 about to go to penalties, misplaced pass at the back as they were trying to play hoofball, keeper on the edge of his box fluffs his clearance, not expecting a pass back, so I gleefully receive the ball as my defender clears, I race forward about 20 yards to create some space and then gently lob him from just inside the halfway line. Europhia ensued! Bizarrely, I was then dropped for the final. Say what?![/quote]   Managers eh? I''d have you first name on the team sheet, you build a side around a creative flair-ridden talent such as yourself, surely?

[quote user="Buckethead"]With that kind of attitude it sounds like we had a klose shave Mike, do you think we should be looking towards getting a Brazilian instead? [/quote]   Arf. "Klose Encounters in the Third Round - Kind" - German goal ace patronises minnows after cup drubbing "You''re only supposed to Klose the bloody Dorrans off" - Lambert fumes at ref and physio after clash of heads leads to open warfare   or something

[quote user="BlyBlyBabes"][quote user="mikewalker"] In a word, no thankyou [/quote]   Why not Mike?   OTBC   [/quote]   in no particular order... - he''s never lived down south/east, might not settle - he''s on big wages, clearly above our wage ceiling - he''s best played as an attacking mid off a single striker, coming late into box onto crosses/knockdowns/scraps, which makes the purchases of Morrison, Vaughan etc wasteful if we''re going 1 up front to accomodate him - so...he''s awful as one of a centre midfield pair as he has no pace, not an especially tough tackler, lacks defensive positioning skills, not much of a passer, likely to wander up - is he really ''hungry'', the type we want? He''s got no point to prove in the prem and will never join a bigger club than his current one. - £12m is mental money for transfer and wages of a 28 year old chubby goalhanger.

In a word, no thankyou

[quote user="pieman"]I''ve scored 400+ Sunday league goals, including some absolute belters but my favourite was from about 6 yards. We were 2-1 down at home against the league leaders, last game of the season and we had to win to take the division. 5 minutes to go we equalised, they were still quite relaxed as we had to win. 2 minutes left, cross came in from the right, I edged ahead of the defender and flicked it past the stranded keeper in to the bottom corner. Cue title in the bag and absolutely insane celebrations. Those were the days ![/quote]   Nice. Very nice. Its good to have a goal in this list that wasn''t spectacular per se, but meant so much more due to context. Were your opponents on their knees punching the floor Sammy Kuffour style (Man utd 2 in injury time - Bayern 1) ?

[quote user="Lord Horn"]In off my nuts from a corner - I was a goalie![/quote] Hey, thats unorthodox, but they all count.

[quote user="chicken"]I''ve scored a few good goals but mainly in training! Once I took a chip over the back four onto the top of my thigh perfectly allowing the ball to bounce off it and slightly forward so that I could volley it straight into the roof of the net - had everyone at training slapping my back until it hurt. My best goal was a fluke though. I was practising running down the wing and crossing whilst training with my uni team. I crossed it but gave it a bit of outside of the boot so it would swerve away and then towards goal. Over did it and it went in a bit like the Ronaldinho goal against Seaman. Totally not deliberate but all the keeper could do was let his jaw drop to his chest! Other than that I scored a nice curling low daisy cutter season before last. Had the keeper unsure which way to go until the last moment and it slotted right into the bottom corner of the goal.[/quote] Some great goals there, brilliant descriptions as well. I''d vote for the Wing/Curler one, it sounds like quite a bit of skill to score such a peach when running to byline at pace

[quote user="Evil Monkey Wizard"] My best goal was scored during a simple kick-about in the park, two against two with another keeping goal.   The ''keeper punted the ball downfield and set myself and an opponent off on a chase for it as it sailed high through the air.  Although I was in front of the other player, I could sense him close behind me and knew that if I tried to control the ball as it came down over my head he''d more than likely be im prime position to nick it right off my toes.   So as it dropped, I raised my foot up high, still running away from the goal, and hooked it back over my head.  My opponent was going too fast to stop in time, and I spun 90 degrees on the spot and, as it dropped back over my head, I volleyed it back towards the goal.   The ball sailed high and true and from some 30 yards out fell plum into the top right corner, leaving the ''keeper rooted to the spot, no doubt struck with awe.   The best thing about it all was that I meant it.  I''ve scored a few ''spectaculars'' which have really just been shanks, but this one was fully intentional and I doubt I''d be able to do it again with as much skill, grace and accuracy if I tried a thousand times.   The worst thing was that only 4 other people saw it... [/quote]   Sen-sational. You''ve painted one hell of a picture there, truly brought to life your burst of skill and technique, not to mention heat of the moment composure and awareness. Sounds almost Cruyff-esque. Thanks mate, your goal may have been witnessed by 4 others but it now lives forever in the hearts and minds of all contributors to this thread. Well done, sir.

[quote user="Natural Yellow"]Full 11-a-side pitch, halfway line, let fly....top corner. I do remember a few others but that was the best. In fact, I remember them all, I didn''t score too many....[/quote] Sounds amazing Natural Yellow. I''d like to think you just nodded modestly as it roared in, and that your opponents applauded in recongnition of a just superb bit of football genius. Its why we all love the game, moments like that. I once went through a spell of trying to score direct from corners but was subbed, dropped and never picked again after trying without reward for 1 and a quarter games.