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Predictions for tonight ...

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We go 0-1 down after Doherty fails to react to a long punt into our box by Alan Stubbs. Fleming tries to head clear but it hits Drury on the back and richochets to Tim Cahill (making a late run from midfield) who blasts past Green for the lead in the 12th minute.

26mins - Jonson touches the ball for the first time, running all the way to the halfway line, before passing back to Edworthy, whose ''deep'' cross is caught by Richard ''scum'' Wright.

34mins - James Beattie almost connects with a Kevin Kilbane cross but his manboobs need an extra centimetres growth before making contact.

41 mins - Darren Huckerby skins Tony ''How Scouse ugly b*****d can you get'' Hibbert for the umpteenth time, but his fizzing cross fails to interest anyone except Ashton who comes achingly close to connecting.

45 mins. Half time 1-0 to Everton. Stadium Tannoy announces that Luis Aragones is guest of honour.

59 mins - A brilliant equaliser frm the Canaries. Sub Youssef Safri wins the ball in midfield from Thomas Gravesen, sorry I mean Lee Carsley, and gives a ball out to Hucks who skins Hibbert again. His ball to the edge of the box is met by Francis with a low drive. Wright can only parry out to Ashton who finishes from 8 yards out.

65 mins - Gary Doherty''s last piece of hair is stolen by Liverpudlian thieves.

70 mins - As the clearly distressed Doherty is replaced by Jason Shackell (at last) the stadium announcer gives the Irishman''s age as 57.

78 mins - The ineffectual Beattie (£6.3m - pah you can have Ashton for half the price!) is replaced by Big Duncan Ferguson.

79 mins - Ferguson is sent off for headbutting everyone.

86 mins - Everton almost snatch the win, but dont.

92 mins - The Canaries go on a late unexpected foray upfield. Francis turns Carsley and plays a ball out wide to substitute and ex-Toffee Graham Stuart. He turns inside Pistone before unleashing a rasping drive from all of 25 yards into the top corner past the helpless Wright. Goodison Park goes quiet apart from a mad 3000 Canaries fans (and Luis Aragones - the "black man" Francis didn''t score) McKenzie jumps up and down somewhere and Norwich go in to the West Brom game on saturday with great confidence.

* Shamefully stolen from another site *

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