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Tayside Canary

Scummers Excuses - EXCLUSIVE

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I have inside information that there is a publication due out near the end of May should the scummers fail to reach the Premiership (which by the way any scummer reading this is where we are). Here is a quick insight. Its called the reasons why the best team (according to Fat boy Royle) in the Nationwide failed to be promoted.

The ball was the wrong shape (round)
We played at the wrong time of year (the football season)
The pitch was too wide
The pitch was too narrow
The ball was under inflated
The ball was over inflated
Teams didnt let us win
Teams kept scoring goals against us

There are plenty more, but I will let others have a go.

Premiership here we come at last!

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We had to play on a day that had a ''Y'' in it - very unfair.
The opposition used defenders, a tactic that we''re not familiar with.
The Carrow Road groundsman used a thicker quality of white paint on the crossbar than we use at Portaloo Row-ad, which must be against League rules.
Norwich scored at set pieces at Carrow Road, which is not in keeping with the spirit of derby games (for a start, nobody told Shefki Kuqi that he was supposed to mark Malky).
We didn''t realise that our supporters were allowed to sing in a loud voice, especially at home matches.

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Here are a few more:-

We signed George Santos on a free, from the mighty Grimsby.

We signed Drissa Diallo on a free, the lynch pin to Burnley''s defence that let in so many goals in 2002-03.

We took Chris Bart Williams on loan, a player of "proven" Premiership class, and then signed him for nothing.

We took Shefki Kuqi on loan, a man who helped Sheffield Wednesday get relegated from the First Division last season, and liked what we saw, so signed him on a free

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