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At the open day (apologies to Pete & Dud but not to Doomy)

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Delia Smith Doncaster! (Neil

Doncaster breaks away from the singing) Sorry to drag you away from the fun,

old boy. It’s not going very well, you know.

Doncaster Oh my God!

Delia Smith …war is a psychological thing, Doncaster, rather like a game of football. You know how

in a game of football ten men often play better than eleven?

Doncaster Yes, Delia.

Delia Smith Doncaster, we

are asking you to be that one man. I want you to lay down your life, Doncaster. We need a futile gesture at this stage. It

will raise the whole tone of the season. Get up in a crate, Doncaster, pop over

to Bremen,

take a shufti, and don’t come back.

Goodbye, Doncaster. God, I wish I was going


Doncaster Goodbye, Delia –

or is it – au revoir?’ 


No, Doncaster

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