I PROCLAIM IT'S A DIRGE

[Rudolph Hucker 0]

It''s gonna be (500 miles)

When you wake up yeah I know you''re gonna see

You''re gonna see the Sunday papers next to you

Sports page pull-out yeah I know what it''s gonna be

It''s gonna be the Sunday Sport therefore it''s true

 

If I get drunk yes I know I''m gonna be

I''m gonna be the fan who gets drunk next to you

And if I blather yeah I know I''m gonna be

I''m gonna be the fan who''s blathering to you

 

A round trip of 500 miles

The home leg felt 500 more

Just to be the team who took 1,000 fans

To fall down fail to score

 

When I''m working yes I know I''m gonna be

I''m gonna be the fan who''s working to watch you

And when the money comes in for the work I''ll do

I''ll spend almost every penny out on you

 

But I paid out 500 quid

The extras cost 500 more

Just to be the fan who spend 1,000 pounds

To watch you as a chore

 

When we''re at home yeah I know I''m gonna be

I''m gonna be the fan who comes back to see you

And if I grow old well I know I''m gonna be

I''m gonna be the fan who''s growing old through you

 

When I''m lonely yes I know I''m gonna be

I''m gonna be the fan who''s lonely without you

When I''m dreaming yes I know I''m gonna dream

Dream about the time when I''m with you

 

But I could live 500 years

And I could live 500 more

Just to be be the fan who hoped a 1,000 times

That we''d be great once more

 

Footnote: if you think the lyrics are odd they are as faithful to the original as I could make them.