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What would you like to be banned from FCR?

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Firstly, lingering! Nothing pisses me off more than the tw@ts who take the decision to leave 10 minutes early only to end up lingering on the stairways, if you''re gonna go then f*ck off!

Secondly, people who aren''t interested in football! In the seats next to me their''s a family of 3.. the wife and daughter spend the whole 90 minutes staring into their phones. If Norwich score they don''t even flinch, no half hearted clap, no nothing. The only time you''ll see her facial expression change is when he comes running up the stairs with her half time hot dog. Leave the wench*s at home mate.

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Keeled over, in tears, howling with laughter at the "Henry VIII Chicken Muncher" descriptions. Thanks guys, I needed that.

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Huge fat lardy boys who drink ten pints, eat three pies then spend the whole afternoon ripping farts that would kill a cat.......oh hold on a minute.

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Late comers, lock the gates at 2:55 fed with standing up to let them pass, even worse are the ones who don''t know where to sit and then come back again.

There is one bloke in the Jarrold who wears the old red away shirt who is always late.

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Some of the vitriol aimed at season ticket holders and those on "corporate packages" seems rather misplaced. These two groups swell the club''s coffers. Keyboard warriors who never darken Carrow Road don''t.

The income from season ticket sales is the financial bedrock of the club. Those funding corporate jollies pay through the nose for their rarefied day out. The odd casual ticket purchased once in a blue moon doesn''t contribute a whole lot. You''ve made long and expensive journeys? Bully for you but NCFC doesn''t benefit from that.

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[quote user="Bury Green"]I can vouch for the fact there was and possibly still is a ''Muncher of Chicken'' in the middle of the Jarrold.

We moved on a few seasons ago but I jest not, this lummox was north of twenty stone and rocked up with a Morrisons bag stuffed with snaffle, including the previously mentioned fowl.

He''d sit there slowly consuming the lot, the floor looked like road kill after the game, bones, wrappers, grease and general detritus.

He was also incredibly and unsurprisingly flatulent, by 4.45 you could really smell the chicken on its way through.

Over twenty stone and been to Morrisons, you''re not allowed in.[/quote]This unhealthy food obsession is clearly a serious hobby horse of yours, Bury. Are you , by any chance involved in this government/NHS thing about getting  peoples'' BMI down ?On a similar note, I for one, have never seen the need for this fixation with eating and drinking at football matches. In short, if I want to eat or drink, I go to a restaurant/pub/ café/takeaway (delete as appropriate )If, on the other hand I want to watch a football game, I go to a football ground.I do not expect to see 90 mins of football when I''m in, for sake of argument ,the Indian Restaurant . So why is it any more logical to expect a 3 course meal or similar, at Carrow Rd ?

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Kids and those old enough to know better who spend the entire 90 minutes staring at their phones. I can understand checking other scores every now and again, but if you''re posting a play by play account of the match on Twitter, stay at home and watch a soddin'' stream.

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"On a similar note, I for one, have never seen the need for this fixation

with eating and drinking at football matches. In short, if I want to

eat or drink, I go to a restaurant/pub/ café/takeaway (delete as

appropriate )If, on the other hand I want to watch a football game, I go to a football ground."exactlydo these gut buckets eat like this at 3.45pm every week day ?kids, as others have said..... CR is not a creche - make them pay the full price and get rid of them and hopefully their happy clappy clueless dadsagain - turnstiles to be the same width as a seat .... how many have to lean forward so as to allow the gutbucket to spread out over onto their spacelatecomers and goers - don''t get up...........just tell them that you are watching the game - if they have ''unusual toilietry needs'' or are just greedy cants then they should get a seat next to the asle

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So we ban the kids, as suggested in this thread and then when attendance drops off we can moan about the lack of a new generation of fans.

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A list of what I''d like to see barred:Delia and MWJPlastics fansPies (excluding Steak and Kidney)Long ball footballAll away fansAnyone without a broad Norfolk accent (as they fall into the category of "plastic")The letters B,G and Q, plus the number 6All Ipads, Iphones, Imacs and Mac notebooksAnyone with a limpTeenagers with orthodontics or acneAnyone who lives in ToftwoodAnyone who''s ever voted for the Green PartyPeople with double barreled surnamesAnyone with a lip piercingPant wettersWiz (OK pretty easy to enforce seeing as he doesn''t actually go)Bright coloured football bootsHaircuts that cost more than £8-50

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[quote user="capricorn1"]So we ban the kids, as suggested in this thread and then when attendance drops off we can moan about the lack of a new generation of fans.[/quote]absolute nonsense

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Excellent, I seem to have caused offence to a Corporate Entertainment type, you lucky lucky thing.

For the record I know about this particular brand of schmoozer as I am a season ticket holder but don''t thankfully have to endure their brilliantine presence at away games or indeed the AGM.

Just for the avoidance of doubt you see, schmooze on pal

There is another type of Match Criminal, those who suffer from James Alexander Gordon Syndrome.

Sat their with their radio on broadcasting scores to any poor sod that in listening distance from all around the land

"Crewe are 1-0 up"

And my real favourite

"Ipswich are winning"

If I wanted to know I''d use my phone, in the 21st century most of can find all of this out from a quick glance at a phone screen so why of why do I need this constant broadcast going on in my left ear from some anorak clad berk?

When we were staring relegation in the face I really didn''t want or need to have the bloody West Brom score bleated in my ear for ninety whole minutes.

James Alexander Gordon, just ---- right off, you''re banned.

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Tank tops, flared trousers, large collar garish coloured shirts.......and those ridiculous platform shoes......

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Fat blokes in replica shirts, you look like a dick.

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[quote user="Buh"]Now that I''m on a role is add people to the list "people that go on and on about where they have managed to park for free" some people seem to think it''s some sort of game to park as close to the ground as thy can without parking and will go to amazing, elaborate lengths to do so. Often explaining "therr wunt Noo sine sayun I cudunt!" They park in people''s driveways, their dining rooms, in obscure country lanes and seemingly in the gap between relative dimensions to avoid the £6 charge at county hall.

The football is a secondary concern to these people. It''s all about the parking.[/quote]Brilliant! [:D]

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The "radio people" are an excellent suggestion

Your two nil down, we can''t find and avenue into the game, you are pretty bummed out and the guy two rows in front of you turns around, unplugs himself and utters

"Ipswich arr winnun un''all"

Cheers mate... Cheers.

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While we are on a roll, shawls!

It''s not a care home, I know it''s cold, wear more trousers or a thicker coat. It''s one step away from a sleeping bag and that''s one step away from a hammock.

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The guy in a suit that before kickoff hassles the 4 people in front on the jarrold with the big Norwich flags

He has a radio in one hand and he just goes up and down the touchline "managing" the waving of the flags

"More wafting! I want a good waft today team!"

You aren''t managing anything mate. You''ve been put there by your boss because it''s as low a responsibility as he can think of.

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[quote user="capricorn1"][quote user="Buh"]Full kit w4nkers obviously goes without saying...[/quote]

The ones on the pitch, or in the stand? ;)[/quote]

Haha! Can I add - the patronising git on the microphone who urges us to ''get behind the Canaries in the second half'' as he strolls off the pitch - this has been getting on my t*ts for years!

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