TCCANARY 263 Posted August 12, 2014 After Man. Utd sent out this email;The email reads: ''We want to make you aware of an update to our club policy regarding home matches. Supporters cannot bring large electronic devices (bigger than 150mmx100mm) inside the stadium.''For example, iPads or other tablet devices and laptops are now prohibited. Also please be aware that large bags, large cameras and liquids (with the exception of a small bottle of water with the top removed) are included in our list of prohibited items. Thank you for your co-operation on this matter.''In 2010, the New York Yankees banned iPads from their stadium but they reversed the decision two years later.WHAT CAN YOU AND CAN''T BRING INTO OLD TRAFFORD Items banned at Old Trafford: Alcohol, canned drinks, dark plastic bottles, drink cartons, drinking glasses, glass bottles, flasks, water in excess of 500ml, with the top removed, baby buggies or prams, camcorders, darts, fireworks, flares, knives, weapons, large bags or suitcases, umbrellas, flags or banners greater than 2m x 1m or of an offensive nature, poles or sticks, radios, smoke or gas canisters, telescopic or long lens cameras, tools.What can you bring into the stadium? Small lens camera (3 inch zoom or less), non offensive flags or banners 2m x 1m or less, small fold up umbrellas, small bags/backpacks, clear plastic bottles of water 500ml or less without the top. What would you want the club to ban? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Matt Juler 141 Posted August 12, 2014 I could understand the banning of the use of laptops, but to ban them from the ground seems rather OTT. I''d imagine this will annoy a number of fans for midweek games who normally go straight from the office. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Voice of Monkey Island 0 Posted August 12, 2014 Halfy half scarves Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pliff 4 Posted August 12, 2014 I know its been said before but the bloody music when we score Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
splutcho 160 Posted August 12, 2014 Irrational, hate filled, bile spewing idiots. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whoareyou? 0 Posted August 12, 2014 The opposition''s goalkeepers. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tumbleweed 106 Posted August 12, 2014 Inverted wingers. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capricorn1 17 Posted August 12, 2014 Wow, that list is just crap!We normally have two iPads with us at CR as we live in Essex so the kids use them in the car and I''d much rather have them in my bag than leave them in the boot of the car.Some of the list goes without saying, but stuff like the bottle of water with the lid off really really piss me off and I hope our club never end of doing that. It''s an expensive enough day out for the family as it is without being forced to buy drinks in the ground and not only that, having to join the half time crush to get them.Maybe we should impose the same restrictions on away fans as they put on us? :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Strayshun 0 Posted August 12, 2014 Demotivated players going through the motions on the pitch. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TIL 1010 4,660 Posted August 12, 2014 Those ridiculous Aviva mascots and replace them with canaries. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
......and Smith must score. 1,311 Posted August 12, 2014 [quote user="capricorn1"]........ Some of the list goes without saying, but stuff like the bottle of water with the lid off really really piss me off and I hope our club never end of doing that. It''s an expensive enough day out for the family as it is without being forced to buy drinks in the ground and not only that, having to join the half time crush to get them........[/quote] Take a few spare lids.......that''ll get ''em. [;)] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Buh 0 Posted August 12, 2014 Canary callersAlthough they seem to have imposed "bans" on themselves already... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bury Green 0 Posted August 12, 2014 Fan Nouveau aka a corporate guest.With no particular interest in either team, the match or anything else football related, they are there to ponse a free afternoon whilst having a good old schmooze amongst their own.All dressed up with a particularly lurid looking blazer, open necked shirt, expensive but ill fitting denim, ridiculously pointy brogues, shake n'' bake tan and a pair of shades balanced on top of the head.There are loads of these ------- to be seen on a match day, always loitering around the bookies, stood outside a corporate entrance having a smoke with fellow schmoozers and, absolutely essentially, arriving at their seats late, leaving early for half time, getting back late after half time and in general getting in every poor -------way who wants to watch the game.But there''s more, there''ll be members of staff allocated to ensuring they enjoy their afternoon, guiding and ferrying their brilliantine backsides around the ground to ensure they absolutely do their best to screw up everybody else''s afternoon.They suckle at the temple of something truly malevolent, the Match Day Experience. I despise this with all of my being, without exception, now and always.All of them, banned for life and ideally incarcerated in something along the lines of Guantanamo for crimes against the national sport. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bill 1,788 Posted August 12, 2014 Goal musicthe cuckoo clock shriekfat bass teds - make the turnstile the same width as the seat, if you can''t get it it means you would be taken someone else''s spacekids under sixpeople who moan about swearing Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bury Green 0 Posted August 12, 2014 Of yes 1st, people that moan about swearing, they can ---- right off.What about old people who take an eternity to get to their seat, stand on your toes along the way and insist on standing there talking to some other tardy old coot. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bill 1,788 Posted August 12, 2014 [quote user="Bury Green"]Of yes 1st, people that moan about swearing, they can ---- right off.What about old people who take an eternity to get to their seat, stand on your toes along the way and insist on standing there talking to some other tardy old coot.[/quote]I refer you to my last point Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Buh 0 Posted August 12, 2014 People that stop in the middle of the walkway to have a conversation with the steward. Is it just me? Does there have to be this epic reunion every time you see a steward that you know? Stewards spend more time talking to there "mates" than actually performing the role and I''ve gone on record before about how useless I think these people are and how it''s a potential hazard given an emergency could happen at the stadium and I believe these people couldn''t organise a "I hate Chris houghton" convention on koblenz avenue.So yeah, "steward people" and all they stand for. And boy, do they stand (blocking everyone else) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Buh 0 Posted August 12, 2014 Now that I''m on a role is add people to the list "people that go on and on about where they have managed to park for free" some people seem to think it''s some sort of game to park as close to the ground as thy can without parking and will go to amazing, elaborate lengths to do so. Often explaining "therr wunt Noo sine sayun I cudunt!" They park in people''s driveways, their dining rooms, in obscure country lanes and seemingly in the gap between relative dimensions to avoid the £6 charge at county hall. The football is a secondary concern to these people. It''s all about the parking. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bury Green 0 Posted August 12, 2014 Yes Buh, hateful scroungers, kick them out Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brightside 0 Posted August 12, 2014 People who decide to get up and leave 5 mins before end of the half to get to the toilet and fill their fat faces with burgers. Likewise people who decide to get up and leave 5 mins before the end of the match to get home early and fill their fat faces with burgers. This causes a domino effect of pissed off tuts and mutterings and people have to shift to let them through. It would be better for everyone if they were shackled to their seats until the whistle bows. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Buh 0 Posted August 12, 2014 Also, people who leave early and give the flimsiest excuse and immediately go into "olde timee boxing" defensive mode about it."My cats go a violin recital! Wana fight about it!!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bury Green 0 Posted August 12, 2014 At the last home friendly I sat next to Family Fatty who had been to Morrisons to get there portable salad bowl option.Such was the quantity it took all three of them until half time to work their way down to the Perspex bottom, munching and masticating their way though a mound of mayonnaise infused grot.I''m not sure if they thought they were on the healthy option but half a litre of mayo is just that, fat.So fatties with Morrisons salad bowls, OUT and stay OUTAnd the sort who brings a Morrisons carrier bag stuffed full of crisps and alike, tight fisted and fat, OUT with them as well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Buh 0 Posted August 12, 2014 That is horrendous sir and you have my sympathiesI think I heard the story on here once of a guy that would come in with a whole cooked chicken from morisons and chow down on it all game like Henry the friggin eighth. Just imagine coming away from the ground covered in slobber and chicken grease! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bury Green 0 Posted August 12, 2014 I can vouch for the fact there was and possibly still is a ''Muncher of Chicken'' in the middle of the Jarrold.We moved on a few seasons ago but I jest not, this lummox was north of twenty stone and rocked up with a Morrisons bag stuffed with snaffle, including the previously mentioned fowl.He''d sit there slowly consuming the lot, the floor looked like road kill after the game, bones, wrappers, grease and general detritus.He was also incredibly and unsurprisingly flatulent, by 4.45 you could really smell the chicken on its way through. Over twenty stone and been to Morrisons, you''re not allowed in. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dubai Mark 0 Posted August 12, 2014 This is a good read :-)Love the salad bowls!!On my few visits these days I will tolerate just about anything to be honest, just love being back watching a match at Carrow Road.......BUT......now I am a Grumpy Old Man according to my wife and daughter...I would certainly ban little kids who spend all of the game fidgeting and facing the wrong way, particularly when seats can be difficult to get....and those pompous know all season ticket holders who think they own the place and who I often end up sitting next to (I am sure I wasnt like that when I was a season ticket holder).....of course I am not referring to all season ticket holders Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
simmo_2 6 Posted August 12, 2014 People who park at county hall with there picnics etc etc, always been regarded as the NCFC prawn sandwich brigade. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
simmo_2 6 Posted August 12, 2014 Russel Martin trying to impersonate a centre back Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Felixfan 53 Posted August 12, 2014 Standing in seated areas enforced. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nutty nigel 7,355 Posted August 12, 2014 Early leavers who exit in front of disabled people in the south stand. Its not just the leaving, its the standing in front of everyone else so as not to miss anything. I totally missed lFers goal against west ham having to make do with seeing a fat blokes arriss as he celebrated. There has been and will be instances of blanket and crutch rage as this is allowed to continue. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Buh 0 Posted August 12, 2014 Maybe a bit specific but around the festive period I''d ban people from doin their Christmas shopping in the city and then bringing it with them to the game. I''ve seen all sorts brought in. A personal favourite is watching someone try and fit tubes of wrapping paper under the seat. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites