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First Wazzock

It's Friday Again...

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[quote user="First Wazzock"]A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist.

Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr. Chang. So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said ''OK take off all your crose.''The woman did as she was told.

''Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.'' Again the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said ''OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.'' So she did.

Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said ''Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.''

The worriedwoman asked anxiously ''Oh my God Dr. Chang what is Ed Zachary Disease?''

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied ''Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your @rse.''[/quote]

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[URL=http://s869.photobucket.com/user/mortymccarthy/media/10577180_755452517840744_1050756938375451862_n_zps6c7d3862.jpg.html][IMG]http://i869.photobucket.com/albums/ab257/mortymccarthy/10577180_755452517840744_1050756938375451862_n_zps6c7d3862.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

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[URL=http://s869.photobucket.com/user/mortymccarthy/media/10505321_809369569161668_8845445640337582381_n_zps64bd43ae.jpg.html][IMG]http://i869.photobucket.com/albums/ab257/mortymccarthy/10505321_809369569161668_8845445640337582381_n_zps64bd43ae.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

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A member of carrowroad.net went to the doctor feeling unwell, after examining him the docor requested a blood, urine & semen sample so he gave the doctor his underpants.

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He wined her & dined her, made love to her all night.

she awoke and said you are so sensitive and loving, best night I have ever had, please tell me, why do you have those shelves with soft toys on in your bedroom?

It was ok, he said, take any toy from the middle shelf..

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The God of Thunder thinks that he wouldn''t mind being a mere mortal for a day. So he comes down from the heavens and decides to go on the lash........The next morning he awakes with a raging hangover and finds himself in a strange room, and notices there laying next to him is a sleeping stark naked and nubile young lady......He can''t for the life of him remember what happened previous to him being in bed alongside a beautiful, but mere female mortal......Feeling slightly embarrassed he slides out of the bed and proceeds to gather his clothes in the hope of sneaking out of the room unnoticed and returning to the heavens.......Just as he''s tying his boots the young lady awakes and looks towards him and smiles.......

 

Slightly flustered he thinks he must do the honourable thing and strike up a conversation with the young lady......He says "Err, hello, I''m Thor"......She smiled and replied..."Thow am I, but ith wath fun - wathent it......

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A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes

him as real Rugby player.

They start to talk and eventually go back to his place.

They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt.

On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK.

"What''s that for?" the lady questions.

"Oh, I have this so that when I''m on TV,

people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me."

Then the man takes off his trousers, and on his leg,

he has a tattoo that says NIKE.

''What''s that ?'' the lady questions again.

"Just like the Reebok tattoo, I get paid when this tattoo

is seen on TV."

Then the man drops his underwear and on his penis he has

a tattoo that says AIDS.

The lady screams: "Don''t tell me you have AIDS!"

The man replies: "No, no....!!! Calm down...!!!

It will say ADIDAS in a minute."

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Got pestered by charities in the City today, ''Blind dogs for the Guides''

Why do the Guides need all those blind dogs?

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In the crown court the hard of hearing elderly judge started his summing up."In all my years on the bench I have never seen anyone with such disregard for human life or property. Have you anything to say before I pass sentence?""Fu(k all" replied the defendant."What .... what did he say?" said the judge.The clerk of the court turned to the deaf judge, "He said fu(k all my lord"To which the judge replied, "Don''t be a c**t I saw his fu(king lips move!"

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