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Juggy

List of definitely not meaningless positives...

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Thought I''d take a weight off of Lakeys shoulders today and produce a meaningless list of positives on his behalf....

1). If we ignore 73% of our away games this season, we are unbeaten away from home.

2) If we ignore our last five away games, and our first seven away games, we are excellent away from home.

3) If we add together the goals conceded against the top 6 but pretend that Man Utd are in the top 6 and imagine that Everton are not, and then deduct the total from our goals conceded column, but don''t deduct the goals that other teams have conceded in these games from their own columns, then our goal difference actually looks reasonably respectable.

4) If we add together the league goals scored by all four of our strikers they have almost scored as many as Benteke, which is definitely relevant as we only play one striker at a time.

5) If we pretended that we''d won every time somebody somewhere thought we were unlucky not to win we would be in the top 6.

6) Even though only one team in the league has scored less than us this season we have managed the amazing feat of winning 1.19 points for every goal scored, efficiency which would make even the CEO of Mercedes Benz proud, and if Liverpool had 1.19 points for every goal scored they would have 98 points - more than is actually mathematically possible from 30 games. That probably makes us the best team in the world.

7) Ricky Van Wolfswinkel is definitely still going to be the next Robin Van Persie, and if he wasn''t then Holland wouldn''t have given him a few minutes in a couple of meaningless friendlies and there is at least a small possibility that Collins John''s two international caps have been the longest running and most successful Wikipedia hoax since the sites inception.

8) If Van Wolswinkel stays here forever and plays 300 games for us then he will manage 12 goals in total, which only works out at £708,000 a goal not including wages. That is 2 more than Gary Doherty scored, if we ignore than Doc played 100 less games.

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Nice one Le Juge, made me smile.

Although you will have reminded him he has`nt put up one of his tedious posts today aaaagh .....

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Now then, reckon if you deducted points for every time we won but were lucky to, or didn''t deserve to -judging by the posters on this forum - we''d currently be on about four points. And maybe that''s all we deserve.

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Listen Ldc don`t give it if you can`t take it, you recently berated me on a thread i had started, so don`t sit in your little glass house throwing stones !!!!

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"Yeh, Tim, get a room with LeJuge......he likes being sucked up to (did I say that right?"

Can we take this as casual homophobia then Lakey?

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