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crabbycanary

England shirt - new technology

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THE England football team’s new kit is expensive because it is made from a cutting-edge material called PissTake.

A Nike spokesman said: “Our patented PissTake fibres, designed in a space station, draw waste materials out of your skin, hence the name.

“It’s a very special textile with coolants, breathants and also some ventilants. Wearing it, you’ll be the most ventilated you’ve ever been.

“You need expensive shorts too, they’re impregnated with a super-light gonad-protecting alloy which we’ve named Gul-A-Ball.”

13-year-old Stephen Malley said: “I really want this kit. But I’ve worked out I’ll be 43 by the time I’ve saved up enough pocket money, and I might have gone off football by then.”

Ok, ok, I ''borrowed'' this from Daily Mash.

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I don''t see what was wrong with the old technology where the socks made you misplace every other pass and the shirt''s magnetic pull kept drawing you out of position.

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[quote user="Jimmy Smith"]Looks like my heskey 2010 away shirt will be making an appearance again.[/quote]

I wouldn''t you will never "score" wearing that.

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[quote user="The Butler"]

[quote user="Jimmy Smith"]Looks like my heskey 2010 away shirt will be making an appearance again.[/quote]

I wouldn''t you will never "score" wearing that.

[/quote]He will - just once in 9 visits to the pub...

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[quote user="Indy_Bones"][quote user="The Butler"]

[quote user="Jimmy Smith"]Looks like my heskey 2010 away shirt will be making an appearance again.[/quote]

I wouldn''t you will never "score" wearing that.

[/quote]
He will - just once in 9 visits to the pub...
[/quote]

You mean he will manage to find the door once from nine visits, have a half a shandy, then fall over,putting his glass over the bar.

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