Bor's Matchday Report: Bitterly Disappointing

[Katie Borkins 1]

That''s good enough for that other old boy on here so I reckon I ought to get my turn at this.

 

Old Bor got out of bed at the usual hour, made a cup of tea and planned my day carefully.  Decided on the long hard slog to the Royal Falcon on Lowestoft High Street, that''s a good ten minutes walk uphill and into the wind from my flat but I thought what the hell, the least I can do is get behind the boys except for Hughton and Howson, whom I both hate. 

 

I spent the morning getting in the mood for the match by listening to my grandson''s Black Sabbath records and chewing ketamine.  When I finally got to the pub that cost me three pound for a Guinness - three pound! Is Lowestoft part of London now?  Jesus wept.  Anyway, a couple of those followed by the All Day Breakfast (the toast was stale and the egg was overdone) and then I had to watch that bloody shambles of a match while picking bits of bacon rind out of my dentures.

 

As far as that match went, Howson scored but did f*ck all else.  Van Wolfswhatsit huffed and puffed but I reckon those three little piggies would be quite safe in a house of straw.  Fer was pretty handy mind, reminded me of a black Mike Milligan.  Ruddy, well he could have brought a deckchair and a copy of Nabokov''s Lolita, and Ryan Bennett didn''t cock it up for once.  But the negatives outweighed the positives.  Too little adventure, too slow, too pedestrian, too lightweight, too timid, too defensive.  The way I saw it, we were clinging on for the last fifty minutes and if we''d dropped any deeper then our boys would have been sitting on the ball boys laps.  Reckon some of them might go for that sort of thing, if I''m honest.

 

The second half was notably poor and although I fell asleep after my third pint I don''t reckon I was the only one.  If I had Sky Sports I''d be wanting a refund.  Anyway, I woke up and the geezer beside me told me that we''d won, I nearly vomited up my All Day Breakfast in disgust.  Stuck with Hughton, stuck with Howson and stuck in bleeding Lowestoft.  Think I''ll post this and get on with hanging myself.

 

Cheers now,

 

Bor

 

[Mr Angry 1,542]

With respect to Ricardo, this is much more entertaining!

[zemas tendon 0]

Bor, you should have gone down commercial road to the bank stores, only £1.50 a-pint, the not locals would had loved it!!

[im spartacus canary 0]

very funny Bor are you mr chops in disguise ?

[ricardo 7,328]

Excellent Bor, keep''em coming, exactly how I saw the game.[:D]

[Zak Van Burger 0]

About time we saw some honesty in a match report a pleasant change from the fawning going on in those written by people who bothered going or watching. I''m glad you are disappointed Bor, if we don''t get disappointed we become complacent and if we become complacent we''ll never get that Hootun out and some other bloke in.And then what would we have to moan about?

[Budapest Canary 152]

Very funny post.

I missed the first half of the game due to my son''s U14 fixture, a scintillating goal-to-goal 70 minutes, which involved seven goals, two penalties for the opposition (one well taken, one saved), dramatic changes of luck, and ended in a 4-3 win to junior''s side. Compared to that, City''s performance felt lackluster afterwards.

That said, I''m fully aware how unfair it is to compare pro football to youth football, where result is secondary and the kids are allowed to express themselves, simply point to the fact that high quality football is not necessarily entertaining football and vice versa.