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Nexus_Canary

Hoots Team talk / Tactics

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Goal Keeper : Ok, you have a square. Keep in it. When you get the ball hoof it up as far as possible or out of bounds. This will ensure that our CB''s dont get any pressure as the ball is miles away from them.Wingbacks : Ok your wingbacks so I want you to push on and support the attack when we have the ball within 10 yards of goal. If your man marked just tea pot until your marker fecks off then you can push on. If not in possession I want you hugging those corner flags incase we get a pacey winger and you can cut them out before they get near the Keepers sqaure.Centre Backs: If its a corner I want you to get up there and try to head the bastard in. But as soon as we lose possession I want you back near the Keepers box. If you get the ball pass it around to your fellow defenders, make it look like you want to move the ball but we all know your looking for Ricky to wave. When he waves just spray the bastard up the pitch and hope the lad can get onto it. Soon as the ball goes just tea pot for awhile until we lose possesion again.Defensive Midfielders 1 & 2 : Dont you dare go past that circle in the middle. If you get the ball, pass it to the Centre backs they know what to do. When not in possession , tackle what ever cont has the ball. Soon as you get the ball panic and pass it back to the centre backs. Only shoot if your with 40 yards and make sure you hit it with your toe. As unpredictable as this is the keeper wont know where its going and you got more chance of getting that 1 goal we need.Wingers: Or as Id like to call them, Assistant Defensive midfielders who drift a bit wide. By all means cross the ball in, ive put you on your wrong foot so you can cut inside and pass the ball back to the Defensive Mids who can then pass the ball safely back to the Centre Backs. They know what they are doing so dont worry to much. When not in possesion tea pot a bit and hope your marker runs off. You can make an attacking run if you have 8 yellow shirts behind you, other wise sit back and let Ricky do the work.Creative Midfielder / Back up striker / man in the hole: When you get the ball, run round in circles a few times then panic. Im not sure what happens when the ball goes into the other keepers square so its best you dont pass the ball there. Tea pot a bit when not in possesion. Your key duty is to protect the defensive mids so they dont have to work as hard. Make sure you get back and tackle and try the odd 50 yard long shot, other than that keep the ball moving between or defensive. If it all gets scary in the opposition half feel free to pass to the opponents as they will know what to do with the ball and our Defence will take care of the rest.Ricky : Your won of those "Strikers" I want you to stand in the square. Ive got some cracking videos of this lad called Gary Lineker. He seemed to know what he was doing. If you get the ball toe punt it as hard as you can at the keeper or be ready to head it as we dont come through the middle. Dont expect much help as your the only attacking player we have. So when you got the ball head down and run like the wind. Pray to whoever you believe in before the game and have that extra pie for tea as you wont see the ball much. Subs : Right lads, Ill throw you on when im in a blind panic. With one of 3 objectives . a) Tea pot in midfield b) tea pot in midfield defensive c) Run round in circles and pass to the defenders, those lads know what they are doing.

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The keyboard warriors are out in force today !Love how someone says go outside when they are sat on the forums..."I am on my phone in the garden" There, filled in your retort for you

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My guess was it was some sarcastic attempt to slate Hughton and his decisionsHardly being a "keyboard warrior" to say we have absolutely no need for such a thing on the forumsHow about you actually get behind our lads for more than... 2 games...

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Well I got as far as the goalkeeper hoofing it up as far as possible and decided it''s either supposed to be some king of ironic humour or more made up crap. As it''s nexus I''ll go with the irony but it would be nice to have it confirmed [;)]

 

 

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Haha, I liked it! The running in circles and then passing back was surprisingly accurate :P

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