BOR - THE EXPLANATION

[PurpleCanary 6,381]

Oh dear. I seem to have created a monster in Bor Bor Bore. It all seemed like a good idea at the time. Some poster here accused me (well, in their eyes it was an accusation) of having a rather accountant-like posting style. I can tell you accountancy is NOT dull. All human life is there in those serried ranks of figures. But perception is everything in this throwaway, attention-span-of-a-rather-dense-goldfish world that you young people inhabit. So I decided to create a more exciting alter ego. Various possibilities sprang to mind.

A wild-haired geriatric Cassandra-like seer splattering his computer keyboard with the still-warm entrails of slaughtered virgin bandicoots and seeing in them everlasting doom and administration. Er, sorry, damnation. The only difference that Cassandra was never believed and always right, while this character would be never believed and always wrong. But would keep predicting anyway.

The polar opposite. An eternally sunny Polyanna figure, from somewhere idyllic up north, perhaps, capable of regarding six straight 10-0 defeats as a sign that things could only get better, welcoming an injury crisis that sees Bill Punton return on the left-wing as an opportunity for youth to shine, and painting relegation to the Blue Square League (East) as a chance to reconnect with our footballing roots.

A Norwich City fan for some unfathomable reason totally obsessed with the finances of a club that has nothing to do with Norwich City. Hamilton Academical, say. And every post on whatever subject would always be dragged kicking and screaming round to the parlous state of Hamiton Academical''s finances.

A retired RSPCA inspector cruising the B-roads of England in a reconditioned 1975 Trabant with go-faster stripes and a wheel at most of the corners, for added driveability, in a selfless search for abandoned cats to rescue and provide a home for.

A kind of super-accountant, destroying inflated overheads with a glance from his laser eyes while leaping tall tangible fixed assets in a single bound.

But every one failed the spoof credibility test. You just would not get posters remotely like that in real life.

So I hit on Bor. Essentially a Bly Bly Babes tribute band. A kind of lovable old rustic eccentric; a purveyor of supposedly wise old saws that fell to pieces if closely examined. Someone to put the "normal" into "Abnormal even for Norfolk". And it was fine for a while. Posts full of harmless homespun idiocy that amused and baffled in equal measure.

But, well, we all seen films where the puppet starts controlling the puppet-master or the dummy takes over from the ventriloquist. Gradually Bor''s dark side has won out, with me unable to keep it in check. What you see now is Bor''s malevolent super-ego at work, spewing out posts that are stroppy and serious, for heaven''s sake. That was never the plan. In desperation I tried turning off the computer today. But it was like that scene in that snoozefest 2001: A Space Odyssey. "This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardise it, Purple," this eerily placid Norfolk accent said. "You were planning to disconnect me, and I''m afraid that''s something I cannot allow to happen." And zapped me with 1,000 volts.

[morty 0]

You are Cluck and I claim my five pounds.[:D]

[LQ 0]

If true I find this disappointing on so many levels...

[Zak Van Burger 0]

[quote user="LQ"]If true I find this disappointing on so many levels...

[/quote]At least one of which would have to be that Purple would have therefore spelled "his own" username wrong in the opening sentence... [;)]

[ricardo 8,034]

I could have sworn you were the bloke I met up the pub.Or a pre-incarnation of Snowy the Cat.

[ron obvious 1,711]

Jeez I''m confused. I mean, I thought I had it covered. Simply put, there are known knowns. These are things I know that I know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that I know I don''t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things I don''t know I don''t know. If only I knew which logical category this post fell in to, then I could assign its probability. But I don''t know. But at least I know that I don''t know. Or perhaps not.

I hope I''ve made myself clear.

Brilliant OP incidentally.

My cat''s breath smells like cat food.

[morty 0]

I found it pretty funny and got where you were coming from.I did think it was Cluck though!

[Viva Marc Libbra 0]

Dude if this is true you really need to get out more. That or your a lottery winner that''s just got bored with life! Either way jeez.....

[Bws Cat 0]

Well, at least thats dealt with.

[LQ 0]

[quote user="Rootin FerHooten"][quote user="LQ"]If true I find this disappointing on so many levels...

[/quote]At least one of which would have to be that Purple would have therefore spelled "his own" username wrong in the opening sentence... [;)][/quote]Yes.That''s one.Still, spelling isn''t always his strong point...Anyway, Purple or not, alter egos are so ridiculously pathetic - from anyone.

[Gingerpele 0]

Did Cluck get banned, or just leave?

[Bill 1,788]

as this rather disturbing comment likewise suggests

 

"A Norwich City fan for some unfathomable reason totally obsessed with the finances of a club that has nothing to do with Norwich City. Hamilton Academical, say. And every post on whatever subject would always be dragged kicking and screaming round to the parlous state of Hamiton Academical''s finances.

 

"every post on whatever subject " ?

"totally obsessed"  ?

 

thanks for reading my posts, you are one of the few who do (why that is so only you will know)

I would have thought that a man of your obvious stature would have simply ignroed them, not read "every post"

(that I have managed to wind you up is in some way gratifying, albeit not intentionally)

but, as said above, maybe you should get out more

or maybe this cyber world is ''out more'' for you, who knows?

 

 

 

 

[mrs miggins 0]

does this mean wiz isn''t real?

[Katie Borkins 1]

Purple Canary is not Bor Bor Bor.  On that you have Bor''s word.

 

Is it inconceivable that a man can stand alone from the crowd, secure in his own sense that he is right no matter how they rail and rant and shout him down at every opportunity, and remain standing alone solid in his own beliefs and immune to the pandering of friends and the brickbats and bellowings of his foes?

 

It is not inconceivable, as surely as I myself was conceived.

 

Purple Canary, wise as he is, could not tie the laces of my shoes.

 

[Gingerpele 0]

I''m fairly sure PC knows how to tie shoe laces...

[Katie Borkins 1]

[quote user="Gingerpele"]I''m fairly sure PC knows how to tie shoe laces...[/quote]

 

Let old Bor be the first to commend you on your first spelling mistake free and grammatically correct post.  Keep it together and you may be on for a moderately good GCSE that might help you find a job cleaning, for example, or working in a bakery.

 

[nutty nigel 7,902]

[quote user="Gingerpele"]I''m fairly sure PC knows how to tie shoe laces...[/quote]

 

He might know how but what if the ol'' bor''s a centipede? Have you thought of that? Could you do it GP?

 

 

[Gingerpele 0]

[quote user="Bor Bor Bor"]

[quote user="Gingerpele"]I''m fairly sure PC knows how to tie shoe laces...[/quote]

 

Let old Bor be the first to commend you on your first spelling mistake free and grammatically correct post.  Keep it together and you may be on for a moderately good GCSE that might help you find a job cleaning, for example, or working in a bakery.

 

[/quote]

You do realise i''m two thirds through a degree, at 2:1 level. And the very fact you feel you are above someone on a message board is quite pathetic, i''d be more worried about your own life if I were you...

[Gingerpele 0]

That would certainly complicate things wouldn''t it Nutty.

[Katie Borkins 1]

[quote user="Gingerpele"][quote user="Bor Bor Bor"]

[quote user="Gingerpele"]I''m fairly sure PC knows how to tie shoe laces...[/quote]

 

Let old Bor be the first to commend you on your first spelling mistake free and grammatically correct post.  Keep it together and you may be on for a moderately good GCSE that might help you find a job cleaning, for example, or working in a bakery.

 

[/quote] You do realise i''m two thirds through a degree, at 2:1 level. And the very fact you feel you are above someone on a message board is quite pathetic, i''d be more worried about your own life if I were you...[/quote]

 

How splendid for you.  Good luck with repaying a lifetime of debt.

 

And for the record, I would feel above you regardless of this message board for the simple reason that I am evidently superior to you.

 

[Gingerpele 0]

Wow, wow.

I can only hope for your sake your trying to ''troll'' as the cool kids say.

[Yobocop 1,444]

Calm down Gingerpele and don''t get drawn in.

Nice to see you pop in LQ.

[Gingerpele 0]

I''m perfectly calm :) Just slightly bemused by old Bor. And I love getting drawn in, in fact I would probably list it as my top hobby, getting into silly arguments on the Pinkun. Its what I live for :)

[Bws Cat 0]

http://files.sharenator.com/kill_it_with_fire_RE_When_memes_collide_s670x394_93334-s670x394-191672.jpg

What I think should be done to Bor...

[BlyBlyBabes 0]

               

 

OTBC

[TIL 1010 5,246]

[quote user="BlyBlyBabes"]

               

 

OTBC

[/quote]

Bly lost for words but still it had to happen one day.

[The Butler 0]

[quote user="TIL 1010"][quote user="BlyBlyBabes"]

               

 

OTBC

[/quote]

Bly lost for words but still it had to happen one day.

[/quote]

We can only pray that it is catching[;)]

[TIL 1010 5,246]

[quote user="The Butler"][quote user="TIL 1010"][quote user="BlyBlyBabes"]

               

 

OTBC

[/quote]

Bly lost for words but still it had to happen one day.

[/quote]

We can only pray that it is catching[;)]

[/quote]

Well,well Butler we have been expecting you to make some sort of appearance since 4.45pm on Saturday as virtually all the usual suspects have been slowly crawling back one by one with an influx of  New Age Binners liberally sprinkled amongst them spreading doom and gloom.Just so glad that it was me who has put an end to your daily lurking and gave you the opportunity to put your toe back in the water.Tangible will be so pleased you are back as he really does need some new lines. Now all we really need is Cluck.[:P]

[TCCANARY 263]

I''m Spartacus!

 

[The Butler 0]

[quote user="TIL 1010"][quote user="The Butler"][quote user="TIL 1010"][quote user="BlyBlyBabes"]

               

 

OTBC

[/quote]

Bly lost for words but still it had to happen one day.

[/quote]

We can only pray that it is catching[;)]

[/quote]

Well,well Butler we have been expecting you to make some sort of appearance since 4.45pm on Saturday as virtually all the usual suspects have been slowly crawling back one by one with an influx of  New Age Binners liberally sprinkled amongst them spreading doom and gloom.Just so glad that it was me who has put an end to your daily lurking and gave you the opportunity to put your toe back in the water.Tangible will be so pleased you are back as he really does need some new lines. Now all we really need is Cluck.[:P]

[/quote]

Should have realised that you couldn''t catch it. It effects the throat and that''s the wrong end from where you talk from!

By the way is the "we" the non exeistent "lavender hill mob"?

What doom and gloom am I spreading?

I am sure that if a judge EVER questioned you on your notebook:

PC Tilson, you may refer to your notes here, what did the accused say?

Well your honour it''s not what he said it''s what I thought he meant!

Nest case.[:D]